Sue Ware Fleming

Ruby Sue Ware was born on December 5, 1930 in Belzoni, Mississippi to Ernestine Mae Renfro Ware and Walter Thomas Ware. Ernestine, known to grandchildren as Mama Teen, worked to support Sue and her older brother and sister. They were loved, but material goods were precious in Depression-era Mississippi. Sue sometimes said that she and Lois had to share a pair of shoes as girls. She was saddened by memories of having to live in a children’s home while Ernestine recovered from tuberculosis in a sanatorium. Sue and Lois often spent time at the Rebecca Hotel, a Belzoni boarding home owned by her paternal aunt Leona Ware Azwell and named for her paternal grandmother Rebecca Hagan Ware. It was likely there that she learned early how to exercise frugality while being hospitable.

Sue graduated from high school in Jackson Mississippi, where she had developed a reputation for making her own stylish clothing. In January 1949, when she was just 18 years old, she married Eugene Fleming, Jr., whom she had met at a party in Jackson the previous summer and who had recently graduated from the U.S. Military Academy. She was a beautiful young bride.

Sue took on the life of Army wife with courage, resourcefulness, and a great sense of adventure. Soon after moving to Honolulu, Hawaii, Gene was deployed to Korea and seriously wounded. Sue gave birth to their first daughter, Rebecca, and cared for her while attending to Gene in the hospital in Ft. Campbell, Kentucky. She drove Beki back and forth between Jackson and Ft. Campbell many times before finally being given housing on the base.

Sara was later born in Maryland and Donna in Massachusetts and photographs show all three baby girls greeted with proud smiling parents and fresh swaddling clothes.

Sue oversaw many household moves. In each new place she quickly set up housekeeping to ensure that homes were comfortable and attractive for her family and welcoming to her many friends. She made curtains and pillows and dresses for herself and dresses or play outfits for her three daughters. Sue also canned fruits and vegetables procured either from her own garden or from local farms. She and various close friends went to auctions, yard sales, and even junk shops to find hidden treasures. She and her dear friend Maggie refinished old battered wooden trunks and made them lovely again. Sue and Gene dabbled in re-upholstering furniture and together made several Emperor grandfather clocks from kits.

Sue took advantage of every opportunity to travel. From Istanbul she toured Germany and Austria by train with several other military wives. She and Gene toured the Holy Land once themselves and went again with Beki, Sara, and Donna in 1963. For about a dozen years, up until 2008, they made annual winter trips to Hawaii. They also visited Australia, New Zealand, Mexico, Alaska, and parts of the western US. In 1999 Sue single-handedly planned a two-week 50th anniversary celebration trip to Hawaii for her and Gene, their daughters, and son-in-law Monty. Her travels led to an interest in photography and she became an accomplished mostly self-taught amateur photographer.

When their daughters had homes of their own Sue and Gene visited and were eager to assist with moving and with refurbishing and furnishing their apartments or houses. Sue made curtains and they gave extra furniture, usually hand-made or hand-rehabilitated. For decades no one ever needed to purchase new furniture! When they became grandparents in 1976 they were loving and attentive and became fondly known as Mama Sue and PopPop or Papa Gene. She planned activities for visiting grandchildren, including day trips to Washington DC, theme parks, and floats on the Yellow Breeches Creek of central Pennsylvania.

Sue was also a gifted manager and thrived as a volunteer in the churches she and Gene joined. For church suppers at Immanuel Baptist Church in Colonial Heights, Virginia she often made enormous quantities of a ground-beef and noodle dish called slumgullion, the leftovers of which were for family to eat. For many years she managed weekly suppers at Country & Town Baptist Church in Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania and played a pivotal role in planning the construction of its new facility in 1982.

Sue was always practical and thrifty and frugal. Articles of clothing worn in one spot were mended or re-purposed. Buttons were replaced; hems moved; decorations added to create a new look. While living in Colonial Heights, Virginia she talked herself into a job making clothing for the manikins at a nearby fabric store in exchange for patterns and fabric.

She was reliably sociable and friendly and quick with words and wit. Even as Alzheimer’s Disease took her memory and independence, she would sometimes make her family laugh with a sharp remark. What always made her smile, even in her last days, was when her daughters walked into her room as a trio and gave her a big hug. “My girls!” she exclaimed.

Sue was predeceased by her parents and her brother Don Ware and sister Lois Ware Jones. Her loving husband Gene left her only 11 days earlier. She is survived by her daughters Beki Stirman, Sara Fleming, and Donna Fleming; her son-in-laws Monty Stirman and Rick Kaufman; her grandchildren Julie Stirman, Jeffrey Stirman, Laura Stirman Dubois, Aaron Ware Kaufman, and Amelia Fleming Kaufman; her grandson-in-law Mark Dubois; and her great-grandsons Elliott and Auden Dubois. She loved them all.

Sue’s remains will be interred at Lakewood Memorial Park in Jackson MS next to those of Gene and his parents. Donations in memory of Sue should be sent to Joseph and Kathleen Bryan Alzheimer's Disease Research Center (Bryan ADRC) at Duke University.