Brenda Ann Calder

Brenda was born September 18, 1955, in Calgary, to Cecil and Stella Calder. When she was three months old, the family relocated to Iserlohn, Germany, where Cecil was posted as an instructor in the Royal Canadian School of Infantry. Cecil’s career in the Armed Forces would see the family move several more times over the coming years, to Victoria, British Columbia; Churchill, Manitoba; Borden, Ontario; and finally, Westbank, British Columbia.

When her baby brother Dave arrived in 1963, Brenda was giddy with joy. In Dave, she had well and truly met her match; he was bright, spirited and mischievous, and the two had an enduring bond they maintained to adulthood. As a child Brenda was quiet, kind and clever. She loved her family and especially adored her father; some of her most cherished memories were made during their ice fishing trips at Lake Simcoe.

Brenda forged uniquely special relationships with each of her four children. Jeff will always treasure the positive example that she set in regard to responsibility and taking care of one’s family. Doug and his mom shared many common loves such as horses, dogs, fishing, old Westerns and classic rock. Danny and she were known to frequently engage in respectful debates about science and religion. Jen and her mom would spend hours on the phone talking about current events, film and books. To her children, Brenda was more than a mother, she was also a friend.

Following the deaths of Cecil in 1992 and Dave in 2001, Brenda and Stella leaned on each other for support. In the subsequent years, they would enjoy playing rounds of golf together and baking batches of cookies for the family. Both strong-willed women, they had a mutual respect for one another that only heightened over time.

Warm, intelligent, funny and easy-going, Brenda was an absolute joy to be around. She was both curious and capable and pursued interests with innate ease, from re-tiling her kitchen to rearing tropical fish to growing a vegetable garden. She devoured books on the subjects of space travel, psychology and criminology. As a mother, she instilled values of empathy and fairness, and as a Christian, values of forgiveness and love. Brenda’s faith brought her both strength and peace, especially in her final days.

Brenda’s quiet strength was almost otherworldly. Despite a number of health challenges over the last eight years, she never complained and instead embraced each recovery with determination and gratefulness. On more than one occasion she defied all medical odds, and her fighting spirit was evident until she drew her very last breath.

Brenda is survived by her four children, Jeff; Doug (Laura); Jen (David); and Danny; and her mother, Stella. She will be lovingly remembered by Dale and Diane, as well as numerous aunts, uncles, cousins and friends.

The family would like to thank Dr. Florin Covaser, Dr. Anson Cheung, Dr. Kevin Ramsay, and the nurses and doctors at St. Paul’s Hospital and Central Okanagan Hospice House. In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to the Heart Transplant Home Society or the Heart and Stroke Foundation of Canada.

A private celebration of life will be held for Brenda’s close family and friends.