David Murray Elliott

It's no secret our family struggles with mental health challenges. Some families have a lot of cancer, some heart disease or Parkinson’s. Some members of our family just struggle to feel okay in this world and sometimes lose that fight.

Sometimes we can't go to sleep at night because we're so anxious. And sometimes we can't get out of bed in the morning because we're so depressed. Sometimes we can't stop talking because it helps us cope and other times we don't want to talk anymore because it never seems to help.

And sometimes we make negative choices to self-medicate because we're so tired of the fight and we just want to feel better now. And then we can't find our way out no matter how many people try and help.

David lost that fight last week. His choice method of self-medication got so hard to let go of it finished poisoning the last of his liver and he passed away. We're sad, confused, mad and everything in between. It's hard to know what we need when it's still hard to even put together how we feel. Offers to help are greatly appreciated, but can also be overwhelming. Please allow our family to say yes or no to the help that is offered. If we say no to something, it does not mean we don't value that you've reached out or that we don't trust and appreciate you. It just means that it may not be what we need right this moment. We are so blessed to have such a big, diverse community of people that love us, and we recognize that many of you will be grieving this loss as well.

What you can do is keep the conversation about mental health and addiction open. Support your local government in its efforts to make mental health and addiction care available for everyone. Vote "yes" when a treatment center wants to open in your neighborhood. Ask your school board to consider mandatory mental health classes for elementary school students. Never stop talking about it and fighting to break the shame and stigma that weighs heavily on those who struggle in this way. Love with healthy boundaries but love with compassion. Don't protect your children from feeling negative emotions but help them learn healthy ways to cope with life's disappointments and struggles so they grow into adults that can thrive. Take care of yourself. Reach out if you need help and don't give up. Love yourself because you are worthy of love.

Memorial Service for David Murray Elliott is being held at First Memorial Funeral Services, 1211 Sutherland Avenue, Kelowna BC. In lieu of flowers we ask that you make a donation to the BCSPCA or the Child Advocacy Centre in Kelowna.

Arrangements entrusted with First Memorial Funeral Services, Kelowna, BC 250-762-2299