Adelaide L. Duffy

She was born in Kingston, Pennsylvania on September 14, 1946 to Thomas and Irene Ferguson. Adelaide is survived by her loving husband of 50 years, Thomas, and her three children and spouses, Tommy and Susie Duffy, Brian and Sue Duffy, and Janelle and Mike Wall, as well as her six grandchildren, Brendan, Brigid, Erin, Matthew, Evan and Anna; and her sister Carol Ferguson.

Adelaide attended West Pittston schools and then graduated from West Wyoming High School in 1965. Following graduation, she was employed by H.E.W. in Wilkes-Barre, PA as a data entry clerk. Following her marriage, she and her husband lived in Warwick, NY and then settled to raise their family in Middletown, NY. She worked for the IBM corporation and then was employed by the Big V corporation in Florida, NY. Prior to retirement she worked as a teacher's aide at the Hilltop Children's Center.

Addie enjoyed playing tennis and hiking. She was a fan of the New York Yankees and more recently of the Las Vegas Golden Knights. Her real passion, however, was her family. She was a devoted and loving wife and will be deeply missed by her husband with whom she celebrated their 50th anniversary on July 11, 2020. Her devotion and love of her three children and six grandchildren cannot be measured. They were in her eyes the crowning achievement of her life, a life well lived and full of enjoyment and memories. Until the end, she took solace in the fact that she was a wonderful wife and partner, and an amazing mother and grandmother.

She was loved and loving and will live forever in our hearts and memories.

In lieu of flowers, the family is requesting a donation be made to the ASPCA in Adelaide’s name.

Wherever you go,

Whether near or far

We will always be together

You are always in my heart

81 years ago a man stood behind a microphone with family, friends, and teammates surrounding him, his body was ravaged by a disease that would later bear his name. He was well aware that he was dying, that his future held no promise of recovery. He would never again play the game he loved. He would never again hold his wife’s hand, stroke her hair, or gently kiss her lips. As he stood there gazing out at the adoring fans the words he spoke belied all of the pain, the anguish, the loss that the disease had visited upon him. “Today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth.”

I found this perplexing. He was losing everything he loved and thought of himself as lucky.

I am no longer perplexed. Two weeks ago the answer revealed itself to me. After almost daily phone conversations with a palliative nurse from St. Rose reality reared its ugly head. The nurse was kind,gentle, and comforting, but the overriding message was clear. The love of my life would soon be leaving me. Any hope of traveling to the Mayo Clinic; any hope of a liver transplant were strictly out of the question and probably were never feasible. But, hope is eternal. My trust in God is unshakeable, but he had his own plans and they did not include mine.

With this realization that my time with Adelaide was fleeting and would soon end came reflection. Reflection not on what I was losing but on what I was blessed with.God allowed me to be born into a family full of love and laughter, a family that provided me with a template on how life should be lived. He then gave me a partner who brought that template to life.

Two weeks from now on September 14th I will quietly celebrate an important milestone in my life. 57 years ago I unknowingly began a beautiful journey, one that I would not trade for all the world’s treasures. 57 years ago I met Adelaide Ferguson.

It was a brief encounter at her Sweet 16 party. I said, “Hello, Happy Birthday” and walked away thinking to myself, what a pretty girl. Our paths didn’t cross again until Adelaide transferred to my high school. Although I noticed her and it was impossible not to notice her. because as Lord Bryon wrote; She walked in beauty like the night,usually with admires in her wake. I never once spoke to her.

For the 2nd time Adelaide’s cousin Alberta was an instrument of fate. She was the one who invited me to the sweet 16 party and now she had Adelaide accompany her to my college dances. It was here that I first held her in my arms, felt her soft hair brush against my cheek, and enjoy the fragrance of her perfume. I was so enthralled with her that I stepped outside myself and asked for a date. We attended a house party and were enjoying ourselves so much that we both lost track of time and I got her home late. My future mother-in-law had already called my mom to find out where we were. The next day I called and apologized profusely. I guess I was so embarrassed that I didn't call Adelaide again. What an idiot!!

As would happen countless times in our life together Adelaide took the initiative and decided she wasn’t quite done with me. One Friday night she visited where I worked and told one of the curbside boys to tell Tom Duffy , Adelaides, “hi.” This time I didn;t make a mistake. I sent a message back asking if I could call. The answer was yes and the courtship began in earnest.

Once I moved to New York I found that the week had been reduced to 3 days. Friday, when I would rush home so I could spend a few hours with her, Saturday was usually a full day of hiking, intimate dinners at our favorite restaurants or visiting with friends. Sunday was the worst. I had to leave for Warwick, but many a time I had the urge to turn the car around, to go back to her. I couldn’t bear to leave her.

All of this happiness was eclipsed by one day, July 11, 1970 when we vowed to love each other through sickness and health till death do us part. Some of the pictures you saw of our wedding speak for themselves. We were never happier than that day until, of course when we were joined on our journey by 3 additional passengers, Janelle, Tom, and Brian and then by extension our 6 grandchildren and our daughter-in-laws Suzie and Sue, and our son-in-law Mike.

As I look back fondly on all of our years together I often wondered why this beautiful,intelligent, vivacious woman chose me above all other suitors to share her life. I knew why I loved her. It was simple. When I was with her I felt a warmth and contentment I had never known before. Adelaide made me feel good. She completed me. It was while talking to Adelaide’s sister, Carol that the reason for her falling in love with me was revealed. She told Carol that I made her feel good and special.We were destined to be together because we shared a singular thought and purpose, to love each other unconditionally. We both took our wedding vows literally, to love and cherish each other through sickness and in health until death do us part. Even in her last few hours her concern was for me. Her last direct words to me were meant to comfort me in the knowledge that her love was eternal.”I love you more” is forever etched in my heart and soul. I also believe that her final gift was to protect me from some of the anguish of loss by falling quietly and peacefully to sleep in a pose similar to her engagement picture. She knew I loved that picture and so my last memories of her are more about our beginning rather than the end. She always thought of me and protected me even in her last moments.

I have a hole in my heart which will never be filled. I will never hear her cheerie, “Good Morning”, feel that goodnight kiss or hear, “I love you more.” I could spend the rest of life with anger and resentment, cursing the darkness of loss, but I choose to see a lifetime of love and can say, “Today I am the luckiest man on the face of the Earth.”