Audrey Jean Luchka Martinez

Audrey Jean Luchka was born on November 27, 1953 to loving parents Joe and Natalka.

Audrey often described herself as a little tomboy. Living on the family farm in Grassland Alberta was the best place for busy, mischievous little Audrey.

Audrey adored any and all animals. She would play with the chickens, dogs and cats. It was no surprise when one day Audrey arrived home from school carrying two rabbits, determined to keep them for pets. Her father Joe was non too pleased, especially when one of the rabbits did some business in his shoe. Audrey would not give them up, so Joe built a cage for the two rabbits and before long there were many more.

During a visit with relatives, Audrey and her cousin Terry Luchka overheard his mom talking about getting a chicken for supper. Audrey and Terry took it upon themselves to help. They got the ax and the block, caught the chicken and when the job was done, took the chicken to the door, much to the horror of their mothers. They were six years old. Even at this tender age, Audrey’s independent and thoughtful nature was developed.

Audrey and her family moved to Hinton Alberta when she was 8. Audrey was an organized and meticulous student. She excelled and took great pride in her schoolwork.

During Audrey’s teen years she had various part time jobs and as with her studies developed an excellent work ethic.

Audrey also loved to party and hang out with her many friends. She was always ready for fun.

Audrey had an adventurous spirit. In 1971, Audrey and her cousin Darlene decided to take a trip. They hitch hiked east across Canada, South to the United States and bussed into Mexico and South America. Hearing them reminisce and laugh about their travels was entertaining. From the black flies of Newfoundland to the back seat of a sports car with a slobbering St. Bernard in the hot southern states with no air conditioning, to meeting up with the likes of Jose Cvervo in Mexico. One has to admit, they were brave. Their trip took them further south to Ecuador where Audrey picked up the most unusual souvenir.

A husband- February 1973, Audrey brought home, much to the surprise of her family and friends, Antonio Martinez, who was welcomed into the family.

September 13, 1973 Stacey Hope Martinez was born.

Audrey, Antonio and Stacey remained in Hinton until 1979 at which time they relocated to Leduc, Alberta.

Audrey, the wife and mother, always worked. She was busy but very organized. Busy as she was, Audrey still loved to party and to have fun.

Audrey loved dancing. Antonio and Audrey danced beautifully. Antonio would spin Audrey around the dance floor and her hair, which was down to her knees, would hit the other dancers. They made people move.

Audrey also enjoyed home parties with friends, picnics, swimming, hiking or just having coffee and conversation.

November 29, 1981 Melissa Jo Martinez is born. Two beautiful daughters.

In 1981, Antonio and Audrey separate. It wasn’t easy, but Audrey, organized and meticulous as ever, managed to be a great mom, worked hard and moved forward.

Audrey had an unassuming strength. She could appear quiet and even timid but when necessary, became a leader, and a planner, who thoughtfully and thoroughly met any challenge.

These qualities were what inspired and encouraged her beautiful daughters to become the strong, independent women they are today. She never lectured but with a few words could say so much.

There were dance lessons, Stacey in Jazz, Melissa in Ukrainian dance. Guitar lessons, badminton, tennis, skating and snow boarding. Audrey was busy but she made sure birthdays, Christmas, Easter and any occasion was celebrated, fully planned to the last detail, not only for her family but for her friends as well. She went above and beyond to make people feel special.

Audrey’s interests were vast and varying- music, arts, theatre, food and sports.

Every spring Audrey dutifully and with great pride planted her flowers. Working with the soil and preparing her flowerpots her little yard became a bright, welcoming and fragrant.

Audrey was adamant about supporting the Humane Society. Her love for animals never waned. She always had pets- fish, birds, cat and dogs. She even adopted a rabbit the girls and her found abandoned. Even though the rabbit chewed the cupboards and mess all over the house, she took care of it and made sure to find a safe home.

Audrey believed no living creature should be abused, neglected or has his or her space invaded.

Audrey’s dear cat, Fluffy, lived for 18 years. When she lost her precious dog Marlo, she was crushed. She had him for 14 years. Caesar her baby, has been with her for the past 2 years. One of her last wishes was that he be taken care of.

The Folk Festival, the Blues Festival or any festival, Audrey was all in. She would gather her friends and family, the more the merrier, for great music, fresh air and just spending special times together. The weather never deterred her, rain or shine. She would always say, “come prepared for any weather”. You could always be sure that if you went anywhere with Audrey, you’d be the last to leave.

Plan a trip? Audrey’s your girl. An itinerary would be made days ahead. There was no rest! There were sights to see and museums to visit. She even planned where or what you were going to eat.

Weekends at Stacey and Craig’s cabin meant loading up the car with groceries, games and every possible thing you might need. Audrey thought of everything down to the last detail. “The kids might need this game” or “Stacey might not have this”. Audrey had it all covered. She may be tired or not feeling well but you could just feel her excitement when she planned.

Audrey’s grandsons, Dawson and Callum, brought such joy. The boys. Audrey raised girls. She quickly stocked up on boys stuff so that when they came over there were toys for boys, games to play, books to read and a big selection of movies at grandma’s house. Baseball or hockey, Grandma Audrey loved to watch the boys play. Christmas concerts or any special events she was there.

Audrey loved sports- hockey, football, curling or figure skating. If she had an opportunity to go to live games she was thrilled. If the Olympics were on, Audrey’s schedule was full.

Audrey was devoted to her family, her friends and her pets. She was a joy to be around and made everyone feel special.

Audrey,

I see you soaring- light and unburdened- free of pain- free to breathe over a meadow and smiling down at the beauty. You float down and sit in the meadow among the wild flowers, birds flitting about. Frolicking there are Fluffy and Marlo.

Stacey’s tribute:

I struggled with how I could capture the true essence of who my mom was and how much she meant to me and so many others in just a few minutes of a speech. I will try my best.

When I think back to all the memories what stands out the most to me is that there was always lots of laughter. My mom embraced life to the fullest. She was the life of the party- the first to arrive and the last to leave. She had a magnetic personality and she took a true interest in other peoples’ lives and there was no shortage of conversation. I think may people would agree that she had a good listening ear and during difficult times she always seemed to know what to say and how to make you feel better.

Raising children as a single parent could not have always been easy. We had our challenges as a family but through it all I learnt just how resilient my mom was. It wasn’t until later in life I grew to realized and appreciate all the sacrifices and selflessness that was invested to provide her children with the best opportunities possible. She was never the type of person who wished she had more but instead was truly grateful for what she had.

In 2005, when my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer, I learned something else about my mom- that she is incredibly courageous. After the diagnosis, which obviously shook our family to the core, I emotionally retreated and withdrew from those around me. After a couple of weeks of this, it was my mom who sat me down and we had a pivotal conversation that would shape how we as a family would cope with this type of fate. She said we’ve got to be strong and she is still here so we need to keep living life. As always, she was a pillar of strength.

As the cancer slowly robbed her body a little more each day, I watched in admiration and awe at how she faced her final days with dignity and perseverance, never complaining or asking why. What an amazing example to all of us.

A couple years after my mom was diagnosed I found out I was pregnant. I know how much my mom wanted to be there for the birth of my first child Dawson and of course Callum two years after that. My mom was a “true grandma” stocking her cupboards with their favorite junk foods, buying them a game boy for her house because it wasn’t allowed at ours and teaching them strange habits like ripping up toast and dunking it into hot cereal. Dawson and Callum, I want you to always remember how much grandma loved you and how much joy you brought to her life.

Although my mom did not find another companion after her and my dad separated her life was rich with many long enduring friendships. Many of these friends became an extension of our family and I have many fond memories of them coming over for coffee and talking into the wee hours of the night.

Although there are too many people to acknowledge individually, I would like to recognize a handful of people who were extremely important to her. Margaret, who has been friends with my mom for over 30 years and moved in with my mom after she was diagnosed. Thank you for attending to all the little things that were important to my mom but she could no longer do like watering the flowers and feeding the dog.

Gladys, you could always put a smile on my mom’s face and make her laugh right up to her final days. And everyday we grew to expect a phone call saying “Do you need anything?”.

Mary Lou, thank you for arranging her last picnic. She really enjoyed that.

And Annie, who has been my mom’s best friend for more than 40 years. I have never before observed that kind of friendship they shared. It is the purest example of unconditional love.

All these friends provided love and support right up to the end. It will always be a testament to me about surrounding yourself with people who are there to share a laugh but more importantly to walk by your side during the darkest of times.

I also learnt something about my family during this time. There are those that when faced with this type of reality shy away and there are those that step up. My family is definitely the step up and dig in type. Although my Auntie Bonnie and mom were very different, I have witnessed the loyalty and felt the deep love she has for her family. She always makes sure everyone is taken care of. Michael, Michelle and Baba, I know you were always there for my mom and how much you loved her.

I also wanted to mention Darlene, my mom’s cousin, because her and my mom has a special bond from childhood. She called regularly, visited often and shared many good laughs with my mom.

And on a personal note, I would like to take time to acknowledge my in-laws, Laurie and Lorne. My mom’s health took a drastic turn in the middle of July and my mom’s wish was to stay in her home. I had the blessing to be able to stay with her day and night for the past 5 weeks. I would not have been provided this opportunity without a strong network of people around me like the two of you. Thank you for your endless desire to help out in any way you can, especially with the boys.

And to my husband Craig who is my rock and the most solid person I know. Thank you for your optimism and always seeing the bright side of things. I don’t know if her remembers this but when I told Craig my mom was diagnosed with a year and a half to live by the doctor at the Cross he said “Stacey, no one knows how long she has, she could have 10 more years”. I said “Come on Craig, we have to be realistic” and here we are 10 years later. That is my rock. Thank you for holding down the fort so I could be fully present with my mom these last few weeks.

And finally to Melissa, my sister, it’s always been the 3 of us and it always will be. It’s the undying love of our mom that has shaped us into who we are today and will continue to shape us forever. I love you.

Although cancer wasn’t the driving force in my mom’s life, it was something she had to cope with on a daily basis for many years. I came across this poem several years ago that gives me great comfort and I would like to finish by sharing it with you.

What Cancer Cannot Do

Cancer is so limited…

It cannot cripple love

It cannot shatter hope

It cannot corrode faith

It cannot destroy peace

It cannot kill friendship

It cannot suppress memories

It cannot silence courage

It cannot invade the soul

It cannot steal eternal life

It cannot conquer the spirit

Mom, your spirit will live inside of us forever.

Melissa’s Tribute:

So off to Banff we went. I rented us a fancy hotel and we were going first class. Didn’t really know what we were gonna do there but it didn’t really matter. Whenever you were it was always a party, and event or memory to be made. When we got there you found out that we could go dog sledding and that was it! We were going. Now we came with no toques, gloves or ski pants. So, of course, we did what we always do….pulled out our visas and charged them. Now my mom had lost her hair 1, 3, 10 times and on this trip she wore a wig. So in the store, trying on all these toques, she pulled one off and what happened? The stupid thing flew across the room about 30 feet. I looked up with you screaming “Holy shit! My hair flew off!”. And I killed myself laughing. I don’t really remember her putting her wig on after that weekend. Bald or weird sprouts of hair patches. She didn’t care. She just went anywhere. Ladies, we don’t need our hair.

When I sat to write this, at first I thought how easy it would be. I had so much to tell you about my mom. So many stories, so much life. But then I realized I really had nothing to say. How do I honor someone like you mom? I am not going to pretend I know what it’s like to be a mom or love a child like you had. Most of you know what an amazing mom she was. For those of you who knew my dad, you tell me I am much like him. Flashy, loud and way out there. Well maybe you didn’t know my mom like I did. I would argue I am my mother’s daughter. She wrapped me up in some of her most endearing qualities. Mom, I have your independence. There was nothing you couldn’t do to give us everything we needed. You worked 3 shitty jobs 7 days a week for 30 years and never called sick. What I learnt? It doesn’t matter if you’re cleaning toilets or the CEO of a company. Do your job well, show up and give it everything you got. Don’t be ashamed of what you need to do for your family. Your job doesn’t define you. Don’t be scared of hard work and work hard every day. You never know who you’re going to meet or how it’s going to affect their life, but do you best to be positive. Meet everyone with integrity. Be proud and clean those toilets.

Thank you for teaching me I don’t need anybody to take care of me. You made me independent. You taught me to trust myself in whatever choices I make. What a gift to give to your daughter.

Mom, I have your magnetic personality. You had the capability to draw people in. They trusted you with all their secrets, sought you out when they were in pain. They could talk to you about anything. Mom, I do that too. Thank you for teaching me how to show up for someone, to listen or just be there for them. I want you to know all those never ending coffee dates with your friends talking and sharing, I was watching, I was learning, how to advise, comfort and support people I love. You taught me how to be a friend.

Mom, I have your strength. For almost 10 years you went to Chemo every week. You never complained about pain or how hard it was. You never said “why me?”. You stayed strong until the very end. Mom, I was watching. I learnt no matter how hard things get they really aren’t that hard. I learnt to be tough but also humble enough to ask for help.

I am so grateful that I was strong enough to life you when you were too weak to stand alone so we could keep you home until the end.

Sunday things changed. It was hard and I could barely get you up. I said, “Mom, you gotta stand up”. You started crying a little and said, “I am trying”. I looked down at your frail body and I said “I know mom, but you’re gonna do it. You have too”. And you did. You were so strong. Mom, I want you to know that I am strong because of you.

Life is not always meant to be easy. However, I often wonder why it was so hard for us. Everybody sitting in this room is someone’s child. All I can tell you is to be strong enough to take care of your mom. Be there when things get hard. As unpleasant or gross some things may get, be there. Wipe their asses, change their clothes, hold their hand. That moment, will sculpt you, develop you and change you. It will teach you humility, compassion but most importantly, about love.

Monday was such a beautiful day. The sun was out and all your birds showed up. I put on your favorite CD’s, and Caesar, he laid on your lap the whole day. All your close friends came and your family was there. Thank you for making me strong enough to sit along side you as you took your last breath.

I want you to know that the pack of women you left us with have cared for us this week and I am sure they will forever. You left me with an Aunt that will always come when called. A group of long lasting friends who haven’t left our side. You left me with Annie who just lets me cry.

You left me with a sister who is special in her own right. Stacey, you are such a good mom. I see the blueprint mom’s embedded in you and how you love your kids like mom loved us. Stacey, thank you for loving me with all my imperfections and accepting me as me. For sacrificing time this week at home to make sure I am ok. Mom, I want you to know that Stacey has been here for me.

Mom, I am scared. Although I am not alone, I have never felt so lonely. As I stand here, I crave all those silent conversations we use to have. All those moments when I was sad and you would just sit quietly with me.

I feel like a big chunk of who I am left with you. I am not going to promise you I am gonna be ok just yet but I promise to ask for help if it gets too hard. I promise that even in my grief for you I will try to leave a little sparkle everywhere I go. I promise that when I cry for you I will put on your favorite songs and sit there in peace. I am but fragments of the best pieces of you. The legacy you have left will transcend into a forever time.

As I stand here before you saying goodbye to the most incredible woman I have ever met, I am overcome with pride and humbled to tell you all, I AM MY MOTHER’S DAUGTER.

* * * * * * * * * *

Audrey Jean Martinez

On August 17, 2015, Audrey Martinez passed away at the age of 61 years, with her daughters at her side.

She will be remembered by her two daughters, Stacey (Craig) Ferguson and Melissa, two grandsons Dawson and Callum, her mother Natalka, sister Bonnie and many other relatives and friends.

Audrey was predeceased by her father Joe.

A visitation will be held on Thursday August 20, 2015 from 7:00 p.m. – 8:30 p.m. at Hainstock and Son Funeral Chapel, 4802-47 Avenue Leduc.

Memorial Service will be held on Friday August 21, 2015 at 1:00 p.m. at Telford House, 4907-46 Street Leduc.

Interment will follow at 3:30 p.m. at the Leduc Cemetery.

In memory of Audrey donations may be made to the Alberta Cancer Foundation.

Condolences may be left at www.mem.com

Hainstock and Son Funeral Chapel – Leduc

780-986-2151