So many sweet memories of the beautiful girl with the blue eyes. A true friend to always be missed.
Shirley

I met Elayne over 50 years ago when my wife Ellie and I were dating.  She immediately treated me as family. Elayne had that rare quality of giving you her full attention, as if you were the only one in the room and she was talking to you alone. Any of our friends who met her would ask my wife, even years later, how is your cousin Elayne?  Over the years our families spent many good times together and also some sad occasions, but together was the important part. I know that we will miss her.

I met Elayne over thirty years ago through a mutual friend who later became my husband.  She welcomed me and made me feel so comfortable from that day going forward.  Our friendship grew and we remained friends forever.   I will miss her for the rest of my life and I can truly say that everyone including me, who met Elayne fell in love with her.  Everyone!!

For over 35 years, I have known that my husband Arlie loved another woman.  He not only loved her, he admired, cherished and had faith in her.  I was never jealous because I loved Elayne in the same way.

To know Elayne, was to know someone who thought of everyone else before she thought of herself.  If you were in her home in NJ or in Boca Raton, she couldn't do enough for you.  She could put out food at the pool or at the bar in Boca faster than anyone.

If Elayne was giving you a gift for a special occasion, it was always a gift she gave her time and thoughts to.  It was always as special a gift as she was.  What I don't know is if she ever realized that she didn't need to give me anything, because she was my "gift".  Having Elayne as a friend is all the gift one needs in life.

I feel so blessed to have spent time with my dearest friend whenever she came down to Boca or we would come up to NJ.  Good times were not only being together, but spending time speaking on the phone...long, very long phone calls.  If I had a problem, with a family member or a friend, I knew to call Elayne to discuss it and I knew that my situation would be resolved.  And most important, I knew if I  told Elayne not to repeat my problem, I trusted her and I knew it would stay with her.

When I describe my dearest friend Elayne to anyone, I always say, "Everyone loves Elayne".  You could not help it...she had that affect on everyone that met her.  Marci and Paul, you have been so blessed to have had a mother like Elayne in your lives.  She has set examples for you to live by and I know the beautiful memories you have of her, will be with you forever.,

Michael, you were her rock.  You were so good to her and so good for her.  She loved you forever and I know your wonderful memories of your life together will sustain you during these difficult times.

I will treasure my memories of Elayne forever.  How blessed I feel that we were able to go to Las Vegas when Elayne called us in September.  I will think of that vacation and laugh because that is how I want to remember Elayne. We laughed continuously the entire time from the second we saw the both of you coming down the escalator at the airport, to the second we had to leave.  I will cherish the photograph of us taken at the restaurant there and smile when I go to bed.

I know all of you are going through a difficult tinme right now.  I just want you to know that Elayne loved you all and was so very proud of her family.  She felt blessed to be a part of your lives and I know she will always be there with you.  Love, Gloria

Elayne will truly be missed by all who had the good fortune to have met or known her.

We all feel cheated that you were taken from us so young, yet we're grateful that you came along at all.
While you were here...you really made a difference.
I know you'll last in my memory the rest of my life.
I'm so lucky to have known you as a friend and I'll miss you greatly.
First always on Elayne's list were Michael, Marci, Paul and her grandchildren.... her endless delight. We care deeply for you all today. We can't even imagine how great your suffering is, but the great love you all have had with Elayne guarantees suffering.
Elayne worried about her family and everybody else. I was fortunate to be able to go away with her about six months ago. She was so sick, but she kept asking me about my health. How was my sugar, my back, my leg? She was the least selfish person I've ever met.
Besides being so externally beautiful, she had internal beauty. She had a sweet nature and a good heart. She was kind and compassionate and she had a mischievous sense of humor, with a laugh that bent her over (even laughing at Michael's jokes which she may have heard 100 times before).
Her joy for life was shown by her smile and the sparkle in her eyes, and at about 100 pounds, she had endless energy.(She was the only one who could talk faster than me).
She was the best audience if you were telling a story...but she also was so easy to talk to one on one, as well as showing such genuine interest in what you were saying. These conversations were special for me and I'll miss them immensely.
Gloria and I were on a number of vacations with her, but there was nothing more pleasant than staying home in Parsippany and spending an afternoon in her backyard, with her as hostess. She couldn't do enough for you....have some pretzels, do you want another drink? how about some slippers? Her wanting to do good was endless.
She had dignity and never let the bad things get her down....whether it be the snowstorm at Paul's Bar Mitzvah, a flood in her Florida apartment or most importantly, the terrible illness she faced...which she handled with such grace. She was an "up" person all the time and bad happenings didn't change that.
I would trust her with my life and I literally did as I named her my health care proxy in my living will.
Elayne achieved the goal of all of us in our lives--"To live respected and die regretted". My world was a better one for having known her.
Our remembered joys will never pass. Elayne, you'll be forever in my heart.
Rest in Peace! Till we meet again, My Love.

I grew up with Elayne. My first cousin was more like a sister to me. I lived in Flushing and she lived in Jamaica, next door to our grandparents. We spent almost every weekend together. She took me to Sunday school with her every week and we just had fun playing in the street in the days when it was safe to do so. There were many sleepovers. We wore matching pinafores. They came to our bungalow in Rockaway Beach in the summers, as did our grandparents, and played on the beach. When we got older we biked back and forth to each other's house. We double dated a lot and always sat at the bottom of the stairs talking with her Mom when we got home. She made sure that I was able to pledge her sorority, even though we went to different high schools, and wore our Theta Delta Phi sweaters proudly. We went off to different colleges. 

She dated and married Michael--the best thing to happen to both of them. 

After Riverdale they built that wonderful house which is still so beautiful. Elayne had quite the decorating instincts as well as a great sense of fashion. 

Our children are all married with children of their own. 

We both have places nearby in Florida, escaping the cold. One day she put Stevie on the phone; it was easy to see how the "tradition" of charm was handed down. 

Elayne was always a class act, always knowing the right thing to do and making everyone around her feel important. 

What now, in print, seems like a short history was actually a lifetime cut short. The world is now a poorer place.  I miss her.

The staff of American Cancer Fund™ at www.AmericanCancerFund.org is sorry to hear of Elayne's passing. We have received a memorial donation in her name and our sincere condolences go out to her family.

Just over 45 years ago Audrey and I met Elayne and Michael in the small park across the
street from the apartment building we lived in. As parents we sat on the benches and
watched our children interact with the other children. Our building had 144 families,
mostly young, but like so many New York apartment buildings, you see many people on a daily
basis not knowing who they really are. It is usually the children who bring the parents together.
Marci and Randi started looking forward to seeing each other, which over time, brought
the four parents together. We had children in common.

We were invited to the Kohner's on Sunday night to watch Mission Impossible. The
following Sunday night to reciprocate, we invited the Kohners to our home to watch the
program. Michael politely declined, stating his “TV was bigger, and the picture was better.”
In the background Elayne's eyes widened, but Michael was right, his was bigger, also in
color.

We were with them when they built their home on Rhoda Terrace, standing in the mud as
Elayne pointed out where everything was going.

Over time, as the friendship continued, Melissa and Paul added to our group.

My passion as a child was to build model airplanes, and I thought I could interest Paul.
Paul was willing, but Michael and airplane glue did not mesh. Elayne offered wipes, but
Michael stated if the plane he was building didn't fly him first class, he wasn't interested.

Birthday parties, bar/bat mitzvahs, barbecues at the backyard pool kept us going.
You always felt welcome at their home, because when Elayne greeted you with those big
bright eyes. There may have been 50 other people in the room, but you felt she only saw you.

Many years ago, before Paul was a teenager, he had occasion to sleep at our home. When
bedtime came he went into the bathroom to prepare for bed. He returned, freshly
showered, hair slicked back, pajamas, bathrobe and slippers. With some imagination, put
a pipe between his teeth, he could have been a young Hugh Hefner coming to the living
room to sit with the Playboy bunnies at the playboy mansion. When his parents came the
next morning to pick him up his mother's first question was as to his behavior last night.
We assured both of them of his perfect behavior and when we related the part of his
nighttime preparation, Elayne's eyes widened and she looked at her son, and then us and
all she said was Showered, Pajamas, Bathrobe, ......Paul??

Elayne was a warm caring mother, strong and supportive as a loving wife and mother-in-law to Adam and Jill and a doting Nana to her grandchildren.

Whether it was Thanksgiving at the Kohner home in front of a roaring fire, or the Jewish holidays with us at our home ,we started as neighbors and friends and quickly became family.

Two weeks ago tonight, in a characteristic show of her strength, Elayne spent a day at
downtown Manhattan hospital, and insisted on coming to Melissa's home for the second
Passover Seder. A family occasion of which her family and ours took part in. We were all
one,

 I closed my business some years ago, where I spent much time on the telephone.
When I was at home I would let the phone ring assuming that Audrey would pick it up
knowing it wasn't for me. Except when I saw with the miracle of Caller ID the name of the
caller. Unless it was a great play during a Yankee game, I knew it wasn't Michael and raced for the phone to hear, "Hi there!"  I would answer with, "Hello Dreamgirl!” A few words later I would hand the phone to Audrey.

Judging by the turnout today, we all have lost our, "Dream Gir.l"

With Love, The Mittman Family

We extend our great sympathy.
-- Cousin Henry and Kathlene, Natania and Michael

As a member of the "Tachau' Group, Joe and I send  you our heartiest sympathy- and hope that being surrounded by the younger generations will make this large void in your life, a bit easier to bear.
Eleanor G. and  Joe Feitler

She will always be my "Aunt Elayne" with the great laugh and big heart. Very much loved.

Dear Aunt Elayne,
Stunningly beautiful, compassionate and classy. Those are the words that come to mind when I think of you. Your smile and laughter light up whatever venue you are in. There were no family events or holidays without you in them. Your "post it notes" always cracked me up. Making sure you didn't leave any food item in the kitchen, for fear we would have not enough to eat. 

I loved your delicious brownie recipe. You said you would never share it with me, not because it was super secret, but because you thought I wouldn't need you anymore. At 45 years old, you were still making me brownies, without nuts, every time we visited. I will miss those shopping bags!

When my mother was sick many years ago, Melissa and I came to stay with you all for awhile. We shopped, saw Ice Castles, drank from Dixie Riddle cups, which I thought was THE coolest thing, and sang to the Bee Gees and Neil Diamond like we were their back up singers. You took excellent care of us, putting out of our minds that our mother was ill. Every time I hear "Forever in Blue Jeans," I smile thinking back.

Uncle Michael, Marci, Paul, Adam, Jill , Stevie, Jamie, Zach and Jacob, know that your Mother and Nana was loved by everyone. I was lucky enough to have had her in my life, and she touched me in many ways. Look around today and you will surely see how many more people she has touched. If Tina Turner was "Simply the Best," My Aunt Elayne was, "Simply Fabulous!" I will love you and miss you forever.-Randi

OBITUARIO

Elayne R. Kohner

Nació 12 NOVIEMBRE, 1943

Bernheim-Apter-Kreitzman Suburban Funeral Chapel

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