Marcia Anne Kokones

Marcia Anne Kokones passed away September 15, 2016 at the age of 84. Loving wife of George Kokones. Beloved mother of Darrell (Donna) Johnson, the late Gary Ray Johnson, and the late Kevin Alan Johnson. Step-mother of Nicholas Kokones. Loving grandmother of Stacey Griffin, Sherise Johnson, Ashley Johnson, Jacobi Johnson, and Autumn Johnson. Marcia is also survived by her sister DonaGene Gorsuch.

A Memorial Gathering will be held Friday, September 23 from 3-8pm at Harry J. Will Funeral Home 37000 Six Mile Road in Livonia. A Memorial Service will be held Saturday, September 24 at 12pm, with a gathering beginning at 11am, at the Funeral Home.

Her son Darrell's Eulogy:

Thank you everyone so much for being here today to share in the memories of my Mom…

My Mom & I started in life under some tough circumstances and we journeyed through the end of her time here… also under some challenging times...

With 12 & 13 years difference in age between my older brothers Gary & Kevin… I was the baby of the family as she affectionately reminded me of the “oops” that I was.

We started in Livonia… Mom surviving an abusive marriage and breaking her sons free to move into her mother’s home in Brightmoor. We actually took baths in a steel tub in the kitchen… as a shower didn’t seem to show up until years later. Joyous cheers were my brother’s responses needless to say.

Detroit public schools were a fit for a chapter of my life, but bussing the kids to different schools meant a tough new set of poor conditions for this smart white kid from the outside neighborhood. Mom quickly steered me to a parochial school, St. Pauls in Farmington. This single Mom persevered to get her son a good Christian education… and sacrifice her earnings for me.

During that schooling, Mom met Paul Maurice Vincent… known as Morrie. He was the step-father I needed in those teenage years and the good husband my Mom so justly deserved. Morrie died during my senior year of then a Lutheran high school in 1983... and Mom & I again had to pick up the pieces.

Thankfully, a year later; George Kokones graces our life. They were introduced by her hairdresser and later wed in 1985. Dad was the sweet spirit that balanced out this spirited woman so well. They were a vibrant couple who were meant to find one another to share a love and life with 4 adult sons making up their family.

Mom and Dad shared a life all in Plymouth, Michigan where church was a central part of their days. Mom worked at the Michigan State Lottery and Dad from Ford Motor Company; and then retirement started.

They were fortunate to cultivate great friendships of deep affection. Mom also really bonded with a number of adopted daughters… and many a woman would share with me how important my Mom was to them at critical times in their life. She then later was fortunate to have some really great daughter-in-laws… and my wife Donna was the daughter she so wanted so badly. Of course, I couldn’t have been happier.

All those relationships would be what helped carry my Mom in the loss of two sons… first Kevin and then Gary. She found solace at church, blueprint and Red Hat. She was the Queen of her Red Hat chapter and volunteered at many a funeral luncheon at church. Organized tea parties and volunteered a lot in her retirement.

My Mom was someone who was not a quiet person. She was not the person you had to guess what they were thinking or believed. She was someone who had a great heart… and her intentions were gracious; even though she often lacked tact & diplomacy.

She was in charge most of her life. She lived passionately and full of conviction. She was a unique someone. Pushing her terms forward with fierce independence.

That independence faded over the last years. For the last 5 years… nearly every Sunday… my parents & I would journey through this aging process. Mom had caregivers in the house for a couple of years… yet truly had the best caregiver in Dad. I would thank my Dad every week for taking such good care of my Mom. He was a stellar husband … and took such care of her for those years; as always through their life.

Over the last years, mobility was her challenge… with a remarkable number of falls and begrudgingly finally to a wheelchair. She debated her way through all of it… no longer driving, needing caregivers at home… onward to requiring full time care in great assisted living facilities. Mom lived in 3 different assisted living homes… always desiring it be run differently & better.

I would remind my Mom about how fortunate she was to be at home with her husband, even though she didn’t drive any longer or needed caregivers… then reminding her how fortunate she was to be in cool 950 square feet apartment where food was served and social events were plentiful. She didn’t find all those answers to be positive… yet would always comment that she wished she was back to the moment before that she didn’t appreciate.

I celebrate her 2 decades of a great retirement. I cherish the special love we had… being quite a team through many of life’s hard realities that challenged us. We had a lot of adjustments we had to make together… and I will miss her deeply.

She would sign all her cards: “HIS peace, Our Love”. She has solace now in the heavens and is no longer challenged by the aging process.

Thank you Mom for your dedication to me. Thank you Mom for your passionate stances. Thank you for our life. Your loving son, Darrell.

Daughter-In-Law Donna's Eulogy:

Hello, my name is Donna Johnson and I am married to Marcia’s son, Darrell. On behalf of the family, I would like to thank you all for coming today.

One thing you could say about Marcia is she was a “people” person. It would make her very happy to see all of you here today. She would love to talk to you all and ask you what was going on with your life. Whether she knew you for 30 years or 5 minutes, she was interested in you. She was also a very social person – whether it was through her activities at church, Red Hat or just friends and family. She loved to go places and do things.

Marcia was a very complex person often full of contradictions. That was one of the most interesting and entertaining things about her. She was a devout Christian but had a hard time controlling her swearing. She always cleaning and organizing but her house was always cluttered. I have a couple of good stories that really demonstrate this.

The first one happened very early in my relationship with Darrell. Marcia had invited me to go to an event at church with her. She was in charge of the event. It was for women only. Darrell and I had been dating about 4-5 months. Technically Darrell was still married but his divorce was almost final. Marcia was always concerned with how things looked and Darrell’s soon to be ex-wife’s family attended the same church. So she told me that I was not to tell people that I was dating Darrell. I was very nervous as it was a big deal that she invited me and I wanted to be on my best behavior and make a good impression.

So I arrive and Marcia is running around taking care of all the details. She told me where to sit, next to May and her daughters. If anyone asks, I am a friend of May’s family. It was a big event and more women came than expected. They were putting out extra tables and everyone was finding their seats.

It was just about then when Marcia got on the microphone and said “Donna, my Donna – would you please get extra fruit cups from the kitchen for the new tables?” So here I was not supposed to tell anyone that I was with Marcia or dating her son and she just announced to everyone that I was Her Donna. She said that because May has a daughter named, Donna, and I was sitting right next to her.

So, now I have to get up (keep in mind everyone else is seated), walk down the middle of the room with all eyes on me. Marcia never even realized what she had done until years later when I told her about it. We had a great time laughing at it.

Another instance was just before Darrell and I got married. My parents were going to go to dinner with Marcia and George to get to know them and to celebrate our engagement. I prepped my parents by telling them that Marcia was not a fan of alcohol because her first husband abused alcohol. I told my Dad to be sure not to order a drink with dinner. So they go to dinner and the waiter comes to get their drink order. They start with my Dad who orders a Coke, then my Mom orders water and George also orders water. They get to Marcia and she orders a Dewers and Soda. My Dad said he nearly fell off his chair. Once again, Marcia didn’t even realize the contradiction until years later when it came up. We had many good laughs about that one as well.

Marcia and I had a lot of laughs over the years. Probably the thing I will miss about her the most is our conversations. Girl Talk we would call it. We would talk about the kids, what was for dinner, what was going on at work, anything, everything and nothing all at the same time.

You can say a lot of things about her but I think one thing we can all agree on – Marcia Kokones is a woman that will be remembered. I will miss her smile, her laugh, her sense of humor, her phone calls and so much more. Thank you for always being you, Mom! I will miss you!

A Memorial Gathering will be held Friday, September 23 from 3-8pm at Harry J. Will Funeral Home 37000 Six Mile Road in Livonia. A Memorial Service will be held Saturday, September 24 at 12pm, with a gathering beginning at 11am, at the Funeral Home.