James "Butch" McCaffrey Jr.

of his first date with Kathleen Monahan.

Married in 1975, they started a family with Erin (Rob) and Kevin.

Lily and Maggie Torres, who call Butch “Grandude” made him the happiest he had

ever been. It was amazing to watch the three of them light up when they were with each other.

Born on March 7, 1952 to James and Joan (Giles) McCaffrey, Butch grew up in a family of five

brothers and sisters (Kathy, Patty (Craig), Michael (Renee), Sean (Shannon). He gained six

more brothers and sisters and 36 nieces and nephews as their families continued to grow.

Butch began his life in Emerson, New Jersey where he played hard, grew up, and built the

foundation for the man that he became.

The day after Butch graduated high school in 1970 his family moved to Beach Haven on Long

Beach Island. Back then LBI was a stretch of sand where you could fight and sink boats to

your hearts content, as long as Joanie didn’t find out first. When he complained about the way

things were handled by authority, his dad told him to either pipe down or do something about

it. Butch went to the police academy and worked and earned his way to be a universally

respected chief of police. There are better odds than not that if you were arrested in Beach

Haven between 1972 and this very moment then you were probably arrested by Butch, one of

his brothers, or one of his nephews. As his son I have been approached by a shocking number

of people who were either put in handcuffs, or more likely given a break and driven home, by

my father. All of them asked me to tell him thank you.

When he wasn’t on duty he built houses with his brothers and father up and down the island

and then when he retired as Chief he did carpentry full time. When Butch wasn’t surfing, skiing,

playing hockey, building a donation-funded hockey rink, organizing and playing in softball

leagues or hitting 3 holes in one during his many golf games, he also coached Little League for

over 30 years. Many know him from his “grown up teenage days” of playing guitar and singing

in his band, Garage Kept. He wasn’t shy about his love of The Beatles. He started playing

guitar in his mid-30s when Kathy bought him “the best gift she ever gave.” Everyone told him

(and her) that he would never learn how to play guitar that late in his life, but they were the

ones dancing while he and his band ripped through their sets. He never gloated, he was just

happy to make people dance. He also coached hockey and was assistant coach for Southern

Regional High School when they went to Georgia and won the National Championship in 2004.

Butch graduated from Glassboro State College, where he met Kathy. He told the story that he

remembered looking up at her dorm window and thinking, I’m gonna marry her. He did. Their

marriage was a model for others and their love, strength, and commitment to each other and

their families is something that carried their children and families through this life with grace.

They worked hard, played hard. Kathy has said, “I didn’t know how to have fun until I met

Butch.” Together, they showed everyone else how to balance this life to make it the best it

could be. Kathy devoted her entire existence to his comfort immediately after his diagnosis and

supported every wish and decision he made. They gave everything they had to each other and

it was beautiful and heartbreaking to witness. They were so brave for each other and made the

most of everyday.

To put Butch into words on paper, is an insurmountable task because there are so many stories

and memories that he created and live on in our hearts. On Thursday, April 14, join us at Thos.

L. Shinn Funeral Home on 10 Hilliard Drive in Manahawkin between 3 and 7 as we celebrate

the incredible human that is Butch McCaffrey.

Following the celebration there will be a small private ceremony for immediate family. In lieu of

flowers please donate to the Jetty Rock Foundation (Please see Link Below)

In lieu of a funeral, he will be celebrated on a sunny day in the summer when we can sing, dance

and toast to the incredible spark of life that was, is and will forever be, Butch McCaffrey.