Henry Dilaway Calam

It is with great sadness that we announce the passing of Henry Dilaway Calam of Cortlandt Manor, NY. He died peacefully on Saturday, August 26, 2023, with his beloved children by his side. He was 86 years old.

Hank was a devoted husband, father, and grandfather. He is survived by his three children: Elisabeth C. Gougelmann of Cortlandt Manor, NY; Henry M. Calam of Greenwich, CT; and Whitney (Laurence) Finnerty of Warwick, NY. He has six grandchildren: Amanda, Jennifer and David Gougelmann, Claire Calam, Katherine and Matthew Finnerty. He is survived by one younger sister, Nancy Secor, and two nephews, Andrew and William Secor.

Born in Ossining, New York on January 18, 1937, Hank was the son of Henry and Dorothy (nee Coon) Calam. The Calam family has lived in and around Ossining for generations. In fact, one can still visit Calam Avenue located in the northside of town. Hank attended Ossining High School and then transferred to Deerfield Academy where he graduated in 1954. It was the summer before his senior year that he met his wife, Ann Margaret Brennan, at the tennis courts in the Village. They courted throughout his time at Princeton University and during his service with the Navy. They married on September 12, 1964, in the Old Dutch Church in North Tarrytown and moved to Furnace Dock Road where they lived for over 50 years entertaining friends and family for all occasions and unforgettable tennis parties. Ann predeceased Hank in March of 2023. In essence, he died of a broken heart six months later.

A cum laude graduate of Princeton University in 1958, Hank then proudly served in the Navy as an Executive Officer of a minesweeper. Upon fulfillment of his duties, he attended night school and received his MBA at the New York University Graduate School of Business Administration. He entered the world of marketing, sales and advertising in the toiletries, drug, food, and soap categories. He worked his way up from sales to Executive Senior Vice President of several companies including Proctor and Gamble, Lever Brothers, General Foods, Faberge, Wella, and American Home Products. He left the field in his forties and established his own company, Calam & Associates, where he marketed products for others as well as many of his original ideas. He filed numerous patents, including the ingredients for a menstrual product as well as an oral method that ultimately led to the creation of Mentadent toothpaste. He retired in his seventies as the Marketing Director for another company he created, Small Business Accountants of America.

Outside of work, Hank was an avid golfer and original member of Westchester Country Club. For almost 50 years, he played golf with the same core group of friends, including his best friend and college roommate, Robert Phillips. He won numerous team match play events, but especially enjoyed competing in the parent-child championship with his son and daughter. Being present for his children and grandchildren was of paramount importance to Hank. He never missed a football or soccer game, tennis match, or swimming competition that not only his children participated in, but also his grandchildren. Hank loved to travel and explore new places. But he had his favorite spots that became family traditions: Purity Springs in New Hampshire, Quechee Lake in Vermont, and St. Kitts in the Caribbean. Hank was a member of the Peekskill Presbyterian Church and Shattemuc Yacht Club where he spent much time with family and friends. He was so charming and befriended people wherever he went. He was often caught - to his wife’s chagrin - challenging newcomers to arm wrestle (which he rarely lost). Overally, Hank was so full of life, love, and laughter and will be dearly missed.

A Wake will be held at Edward F. Carter Funeral home in Montrose, NY, on Wednesday, August 30, from 5:00pm - 8:00pm followed by a Memorial Prayer Service on Thursday morning at 10:00am. He will be interred at Dale Cemetery in Ossining, NY following the Memorial.