It was September of 1960, nearly 61 years ago, when a special young woman was introduced to our parents, Daniel and Norma Aguila. Her given name was Cornelia Francisco Salinas. Over time, those of us who knew her well, would more commonly call her, Inday. Otherwise, she would be referred to by the nickname our dad came up with, “Nellie”, short for Cornelia. In the beginning, Inday’s role was to be our family’s live-in helper and nanny. That position eventually evolved into a more significant role: that of ANother mother. She raised us as her own, allowing our parents to pursue their full-time careers, which often included travel away from home. My sister, Dina will correct me to say, “ANOTHER mother”, as it sounds more inclusive, rather than the “other mother”. To Inday, we were more than a 9-5 job. She devoted her life to us. In fact, she made us her life, her home, and she was our safe-haven and OUR home. While she was physically responsible for overseeing the 3 of us, she invested herself mentally, emotionally, and spiritually 24/7 in a way that impacted and influenced our lives. We were raised in her love until her final day on earth.
Inday had many talents and gifts. For one, there was her passion for cooking. It kept our family and others happily well fed. There always seemed to be something cooking on the stove, and daily she prepared food morning, noon, and night. Because of her, nightly family dinners eaten together were made possible. Dinner parties were deliciously successful. Whatever and whenever there was an occasion that required those skills, Inday gladly met those needs.
Carpentry was another talent that came naturally. For example, using scraps of wood from wooden pallets and other lumber found, Nellie created bookshelves, a swing set, and even a seesaw. Another time she built a wooden kitchen set including a fridge, oven, and stove, with hand-painted burners and other gadgets. She was our family’s seamstress, sewing many of the latest casual wear to formal gowns for Dina and me. Thanks to her, we were affordably stylish and trendy! She made any needed alterations and repairs to our clothes, linens, and sometimes furniture. She sewed matching bedspreads, curtains and canopy for Dina’s canopy bed, as well as stuffed toys, and rag dolls for Dina and her friends when they were in grade school.
Did you know Nellie had a green thumb? She would grow “ampalaya” or bitter melon, sweet peas, zucchini and other vegetables used in her cooking. Our indoor plants thrived as well as the outdoor ones. She was our at-home healthcare giver. One of her go-to remedies would be to make homemade ginger tea from fresh ginger to soothe a tummy ache or nausea. She would also take a slice of ginger to apply directly on a minor cut, wound, or infection. It never failed. Her daily diet of rice including fruits and vegetables kept her energetic and healthy. Her dental record would be the envy of most people. She would see her internist only for an annual physical.
There’s a saying, “Cleanliness is next to godliness”. This was evident by the way Inday kept our home and perhaps one of the ways she displayed her faith. Cleaning was more than a chore. It was the practice and discipline of daily to weekly up-keep. She made the Eagles’ nest more presentable if not impeccable for the many friends and acquaintances that dropped by or visited. Clorox and distilled white vinegar were mainstays in her cleaning arsenal, producing white socks, undershirts and towels that were brighter and whiter than new, bathrooms that smelled clean and fresh, and floors that sparkled.
In spite of a limited third grade education, Nellie was one of the smartest and wisest people. She had street smarts, a strong will to learn and keep learning, and a most compassionate and intuitive heart. Nellie was a woman of great faith; she had a quiet spirit but she worshipped the Lord in her own way including reading the Upper Room and Living Faith meditation booklets. As often as possible, she and I attended a Filipino-American prayer group. On Saturday nights, it was mass at Our Lady Of the Lake, while Sundays were morning services at Blakemore United Methodist Church. She tithed faithfully. A church friend gifted her with a small guardian angel pin. Every day she mindfully wore it to complete her outfit. Her generosity and contributions to her relatives in the Philippines enabled them to build a home, a school, send nieces and nephews to college, provide other financial help in times of need, and the occasional blessing of gifts to enjoy.
Inday has enriched my life in many ways. She was a woman of simple tastes and pleasures. For instance, she looked forward to watching her favorite TV game show Price is Right and Wheel of Fortune. Most chores and errands would be scheduled around or not happen until AFTER The Price is Right aired. It was fun to watch her become engrossed in that hour. She would cheer and squeal with excitement or be sympathetically disappointed for the contestant who was winning or losing. Either way, it was her small escape to happily lose herself in that hour. She delighted in solving her word and number search puzzles, which helped keep her mind and memory sharp. “Paschal” is a Filipino word meaning “to go out”. For instance, we would paschal to Goodwill or Wal-Mart, perhaps visit my brother, or a take a short road trip to wherever. Taking her to McDonald’s several times a week for a senior coffee with 6 creams was a treat for her and a pastime I will miss along with all our other paschals.
Though she could be reserved and stoic in her demeanor, Nellie had a unique aura whenever she entered a room. It was easy to gravitate towards her. She was kind and genuine. You would know she was happy whenever she would hum a Filipino song, American show tune, or church hymn. She devoured any print material whether it was a newspaper, magazines, ads and flyers to cut coupons, always hunting for a bargain. She had a strong work ethic. She believed in paying for everything in cash, and wasn’t one to own a credit card. Being thrifty was another quality of hers. She was adamant about saving up loose change. Yet when the mood struck, she would try her luck and play an occasional lottery ticket. When we visited Alaska, my niece, Kathy took us to play Bingo for fun. Inday was game and as luck would have it, she won. Without a second thought, she shared her winnings with Kathy and me.
Looking back, I can clearly see that Inday lived her life to the fullest. From the time she became a part of our family, helping out other family and friends; watching her persevere through the ups and downs, the ins and outs in her personal life as well as ours, and in the role of being another mother, especially in the absence of our parents due to work or other travel. She embraced the challenges of unexpected situations and I realize more so now, how many lives she had touched. It wasn’t until our young adult years, living more independently on our own, when Inday, at about 50 years old, sought driving lessons. After she attained her driver’s license, she decided to work outside the home for the first time. She submitted her application to Green Hills’ Kroger, where she worked for next 30 years. At first, she was a bagger bagging and loading groceries into the customers’ vehicle. She especially enjoyed seeing familiar faces of family friends and neighbors. Then, she was offered a position at the salad bar, prepping the fruits and vegetables, making salads, and maintaining the salad bar. She was passionate and proud of her work at Krogers. She looked forward to going to work and spending time with her “Kroger family”. In 2012, Nellie moved to Hendersonville to live with me. By this time, she was 84yo and working part-time. It was a 26-mile commute either way on the days she worked. With the determination and dedication to continue working at her beloved Kroger in Green Hills, she insisted in driving herself, using the back roads rather than the busy interstate. I know angels protected her whenever she drove there or anywhere. Even on March 2017, one afternoon on her way home, a driver totaled her vehicle, and she suffered a broken ankle, forcing her into retirement at the seasoned age of 88. Her high threshold for pain and consistent PT, without any complaint, she recovered to enjoy more paschals and air travel. In 2018, we flew had the opportunity to travel internationally. We flew to Anchorage, AK for a 3-week stay and visit with Dina and her family. It was Inday’s 6th and my very first visit there. There, we experienced the vastness and natural beauty of Alaska, as Dina and my brother-in-law, Joel, took us on road trips. We rode the Alaska Railroad Train along snow-covered mountains and glaciers, and went sight-seeing to other points of interest. That same year, we flew to the Philippines for a month long stay and enjoyed reuniting with relatives from both sides of my family and meeting some of hers. It was truly a memorable time. I’d like to add that she was 90 years old at this time and had the energy to keep up with all this sightseeing. Her healthy lifestyle of eating wisely, staying reasonably active, and being spiritually grounded, allowed her to live a productive and happy life.
I could go on, but there is just too much to share. In closing, I speak on behalf of myself, sister and brother, in saying how much we miss and will miss this remarkable and amazing woman. We were blessed beyond measure to have her in our lives all these years. We thank you for all your prayers, support, and presence here today as we honor her memory. I am certain she is grateful and humbled by your attendance. We thank you for your shared faith in knowing she now rests peacefully in the arms of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
COMPARTA UN OBITUARIO
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