Audrey Lee Larsen

Our family lost our glue

Our gatherer

Our storyteller

Our most incredible chef” – Ellie

Audrey Lee Larsen (nee Deorksen), a vibrant personality, chartered accountant, mentor of many, and chef extraordinaire, died with loved ones holding her hands on December 2nd, 2023 age 77.

She remains dearly loved by her mother Leona, siblings Linda and Kern, daughters Joanne and Carol, grandchildren Jon, Katie, Ellie, Rory, Charlie and Andy, great grandchildren Kingston, Rhodes and Sophia, and close friends Anne and Steen and the Santos family. She is greatly missed by the many whose lives she touched.

There will be no service. In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to the Union Gospel Mission, which Audrey supported.

An obituary by Audrey’s brother Kern follows:

The house was a mess. The axle of the Whippet had broken on the 16 miles to hospital. Her father, Jacob Deorksen, had thrown out his back raising a barn wall and lay prostrate in bed. Her mother, Leona, arrived home and carried their firstborn, Audrey, into a dishevelled farmhouse with every kitchen surface piled high with unwashed dishes. It was not an auspicious newborn’s homecoming, and was possibly the only time in her life that Audrey was unable to impose order on chaos through sheer force of will.

In those early years following World War II, Lowe Farm, Manitoba, was a town that smelled of livestock and one-room schools. Audrey’s earliest concrete memories were of village life in which neighbours and family intertwined in the ongoing saga of the Mennonite migrations of the late 1800’s. And while the old ways might be changing, Aunt Mary’s waffles stayed the same.

Then came polio. At the age of six Audrey’s life literally changed forever. From then, she would live with pain, would always be the kid with a limp, would never be able to run or ride a bicycle. Hospital treatments were interminable; at home Mother had to apply cloths to revitalize the nerves in her legs. She abhorred doctors and hospitals after that, just as she later despised the medieval, backward thinking of the anti-vax movement that arose out of COVID. She knew firsthand and only too well the barbarous consequences of a world without vaccines.

As the eldest child Audrey took on the role among the four siblings of what would later be called “command and control”. This did not always work out well. I believe the parents were called on more than one occasion.

With limited mobility and unable to take part in sports, Audrey turned to cooking. She took on the role of putting the family meal on the table when Mom went back to school and on to university. It was the start of an obsession.

The parents decided the kids should be given a monthly allowance from which they would be responsible for all their own expenses – clothes, transportation, lunches, etc. Audrey’s first $25 allowance was immediately spent on a pair of $23 boots. There was $2 left for a month of meals and bus fare. Those boots were well worn in after that first month.

“A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.” – Sticky note found in Audrey’s drawer.

Audrey worked in finance and returned to university later in life to become a CA. The profession of ledgers suited Audrey’s personality to a tee. Ledgers don’t argue and don’t debate, they line up as they are told. At Squamish Nation, Audrey was far more than Chief Financial Officer. She was an integral part of a community that nurtured people, native traditions, while at the same time running a first-class commercial enterprise.

One would never say that Audrey lavished undeserved praise. But deep within that exterior of obstinance and supreme self-confidence there lay a great well of tenderness. When times were tough, Audrey was there to provide support. Her hands were always there to give a warm hug. Those hands, small, delicate and beautiful, held yours gently but firmly through life’s stresses. She was very wise, always willing to listen but also to gently guide when needed.

Audrey loved family above all else. For her children and her grandchildren her support was unconditional. And as she loved, so she was very loved by her family and close friends. She truly was the glue that held the family together. “After every school play, dance recital and Christmas concert grandma always brought me red roses and that always made me feel like what I had just done was something big and to be proud of.” – Katie

Audrey took great delight in the pleasure of others, especially around the table, and spent weeks preparing for special occasions. She loved to entertain and the bigger the party the better. One of the biggest successes was when Audrey and Anne catered Joanne’s wedding, and used an air-conditioned motor home as a refrigerator. Notes were made after each event about what worked and what didn’t so it would be even better the next time.

Christmas decorating decisions were made months in advance. In early December the entire basement was given over to craft day when all and sundry gathered to fashion Christmas decorations. Christmas Eves were resplendent with tables laden with Danish fare, and then there was that special moment when the candles on the Christmas tree were lit and all sang the traditional carols of old. These were the Christmases of childhoods – magical and memorable to be passed down to the next generations, part of her legacy

Cooking was Audrey’s joy. One did not just wander in and cook with Audrey. She was Napoleonic in the kitchen and offers of assistance were received politely but not truly welcomed. Her meals were planned weeks in advance for the preparations of invitations, food, place settings, name cards, napkin folds. Only Imelda was really welcomed in the kitchen, working in tandem as Audrey commanded the field of battle from her imperial stool. The meals that came from that kitchen were legend. At the end though, she softened a bit. When Zac wanted to make sourdough croissants on his last visit there were no instructions given – she wanted to know how to do it herself.

There is a school of thought that oral histories are the most accurate. The Mennonite and Danish threads ran deeply through Audrey’s life. At family meals, seated at the head of the table, Audrey would begin dinner with a speech that would start with a preamble like, “I would like to say …(2 bar pause)… that on this is special occasion … (1 bar pause) … with everyone seated around the table …”, and so she would pick up the threads of her thought and weave together the stories of old and new.

Audrey had great patience as evidenced by her looking after Bent, her husband of 47 years, at home until he died. And of course, her care and concern for Mom needs to be recognized, just as Mom cared and was concerned for Audrey in her last months.

Audrey had many, many fine traits. Taking advice was not one of them. If it was even mildly suggested that she do something, she would turn her head, raise her chin, stare into the distance, listen, and dismiss it out of hand. She was obstinate in her refusals. This pigheadedness persisted literally to her dying days. She probably knew she was dying but refused to admit it, even to herself. “I am not dying!” she roared when various palliative comforts were mentioned. It was a command as much as a declaration.

In the end, Audrey’s perversity stood her in good stead. She did not die in an antiseptic hospital tormented by medical attention. She died in her bed with loved ones holding her hands. She lay where she had always lain, underneath a photo of Bent with arms open wide, a big grin on his face, just waiting for her to join him. What a way to waltz through the heavenly gates!