Kathy Hendrickson

On Thursday, May 9, daughter, mother, wife, sister, friend, and all-around saint Kathy Hendrickson died at age 64 surrounded by her devoted husband and children, after a yearlong battle with cancer. In the past year, Kathy embodied Jim Valvano’s immortal lines about cancer; perhaps it did take away her physical abilities, but it did not touch her mind, it did not touch her heart, and it did not touch her soul. Those three things will certainly carry on forever.

Nonetheless, Kathy is no longer here with us on Earth. She was the light in every room. Her smile made you feel included, even if it was your first time meeting her. Her laugh made others laugh, just because she was laughing. Her eyes sparkled with joyful mischief. Every person she encountered was better for it. Now all we have left, until we meet her again, are memories. But what memories they are.

Kathy was born Kathryn Lynn Kirkpatrick on January 26, 1960, in Kansas City, Missouri, the fourth child and only daughter of Dr. Barney Kirkpatrick and Ms. Mary Kirkpatrick. Shortly after Kathy was born, the Kirkpatrick family moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma. There, Kathy and her four brothers thrived in Barney and Mary’s home, where they learned to value the love of God and family, and of hard work. Kathy graduated from Thomas Edison High School in 1978. Thereafter Kathy attended Oklahoma State University, where she joined the Kappa Alpha Theta sorority. She graduated in 1982 with her B.A. in English. Upon graduation, Kathy pursued her law degree at the University of Oklahoma. There, Kathy met a fellow classmate, Rusty Hendrickson. Kathy and Rusty struck up a friendship. That friendship eventually turned into a date. Then a second date. Then she and Rusty married on May 3, 1986. Then they went on dates for another 38 years.

After graduating law school in 1985 and passing the bar exam, Kathy began practicing law in Oklahoma City. After about six years in the field, and after her oldest son Jeffrey was born, Kathy left the workforce. The official workforce, anyway. As Kathy liked to tell people, she became a full-time domestic engineer, staying home to raise her sons Jeffrey, Will and Greg. Now, to this point, Kathy had accomplished a great deal in life. Yet motherhood delivered Kathy her true purpose. Indeed, if motherhood has ever been mastered, it was by Kathy’s hand. She struck the perfect balance between letting her kids learn lessons the hard way and teaching them a lesson before they actually hurt themselves. The kids will also tell you that she had each of them on a string. One legendary story told of a time, when her kids were grown, that the three of them were walking in front of Kathy, who was trailing behind with her daughter-in-law Sarah Margaret. Wryly, Kathy told her “watch this” before letting out a high-pitch whistle that each kid had heard countless times in their youth, but also that each kid hadn’t likely heard in a decade or more. No matter; each son stopped in their tracks and whipped their head around in unison like they were ten years old once more. Kathy grinned. Such was her power, and it never waned.

Kathy, Rusty, and her children spent the ensuing years together on adventures at home and abroad. In between family trips to Stillwater, Grand Lake, Colorado, California, and beyond, Kathy led a life of joy and service. She played tennis without abandon, spending hours with her playing partners and friends at courts across Oklahoma City. She served on the alumni advisory board for the Kappa Alpha Theta sorority at Oklahoma State, providing both chapter leadership and chapter members with situation-specific advice and other, more general guidance. She volunteered with the Court-Appointed Special Advocates charity, helping children in the foster-care system obtain legal assistance. She was a devoted member of Crossings Community Church, following the church from its humble inception as Belle Isle Community Church on 55th Street to its current location today. And she was a lifelong fan of the Oklahoma State Cowboys.

At every step, Kathy was a constant friend; the perfect person for every perfect moment. If she needed to be the life of the party, she lived it up. If you needed her to sit and listen, she listened. If you needed advice, she gave it. Everyone was at rest when talking to Kathy, and there were no strangers. Her penchant for drawing in all kinds often led her to exclaim, in private: “how…do they find me?!” in the style of Nathan Lane on The Producers. We could never tell if she was in on the joke, or not, but we knew how they all found her. It was the same way everyone found her: looking for something that felt like home.

Kathy was preceded in death by father, Barney Kirkpatrick, by her niece Whitney Hendrickson, and by her brother-in-law Mark Hendrickson. She is survived by her husband of 38 years, Rusty; her loving mother, Mary Kirkpatrick; and her four brothers: Tom Kirkpatrick and wife Lee Anne, of Tulsa; Steve Kirkpatrick and wife Lori, of Bartlesville; Greg Kirkpatrick and wife Alice, of Tulsa; and Doug Kirkpatrick and wife LaDonna, of Tulsa, as well as her brother-in-law David Hendrickson and wife Clelia DeMoraes of Colorado Springs, Colorado, and sister-in-law Christy Hendrickson of San Diego, California. Kathy also leaves her three children: Jeffrey, wife Sarah Margaret, and granddaughters Blair and Virginia, of Oklahoma City; Will, wife Zoe, and grandson Jude, of Portland, Oregon; and Gregory, of Austin, Texas. Kathy is also survived by a bevy of beloved nieces and nephews, and their many wonderful children.

Kathy is an immortal soul, but the pain of her earthly loss will never fully heal. Yet her spirit will live on in the lives of those who loved her, and we will see her again someday. A memorial service will be held Friday, May 17, 2024 at 10:00 a.m. at the chapel at Crossings Community Church, 14600 North Portland Avenue, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73134. In lieu of flowers, Kathy’s family encourages donations to the M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, Texas; the Integris Cancer Center in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma; and the Oklahoma Blood Institute in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, all in Kathy’s memory.