Tommy Joyce Palmer

After a long life spent with a loving family and friends, Tommy passed away on September 9, 2024, at the age of 97 with her family at her bedside. All who were lucky enough to know her in this life will miss her warmth and joy in living.

Born in Wichita Falls, Texas, Tommy moved to Oklahoma City as a young child. She was educated in Oklahoma City Public Schools where she met her high school sweetheart and husband, Harry. Tommy was a loving and involved mother to three daughters and an affectionate grandmother to three grandchildren and five great-grandchildren.

During her girls’ elementary school years, Tommy served as a PTA president, Brownie Scout Leader, Sunday school teacher, and Bible School volunteer. A talented seamstress, Tommy sewed many of their clothes (and even doll clothes!) which were precisely crafted, utilizing beautiful, and often sophisticated, fabrics. As the girls grew older, she hosted parties for the girls’ high school clubs and sorority parties at home. An alumna of Alpha Chi Omega, she attended a daughter’s Alpha Chi initiation at Oklahoma City University.

Tommy and Harry were gracious hosts, welcoming many friends and family at lovely parties throughout the year. During her middle and later years, Tommy was involved with several social groups, such as PEO, Alpha Chi Omega Alumna, Oklahoma City Glass Club, and English Speakers Union. She and Harry especially enjoyed reunions of their 1945 Class of Central High School. Tommy generously opened her home to host group meetings and other special yearly events.

Throughout her life, Tommy has demonstrated and shared her creative abilities. Drawing, painting, acting, and public speaking were lifelong interests. In high school, she served as the first chair violinist and performed in the play Pride and Prejudice in the role of Elizabeth Bennet. After her daughters were grown, she learned to play the piano and organ and spent many hours filling the house with music. Her home was hung with many of her lovely drawings and paintings in watercolor and oil. Tommy loved gardens and bird watching, telling of a particular red bird who checked in on her, moving room to room outside the house to follow her, watching through each window. Birds and gardens are featured in her oil paintings.

Traveling, first with the girls (yes, Tommy could even pitch a tent, cook on a camp stove, and waterski with the best!) and later with grandchildren were joyous occasions for both Tommy and Harry. She and Harry explored historical cities, museums, and sites throughout the United States, Mexico, Europe, and Asia. In their last years, they enjoyed cruises to Alaska, Panama, and Eastern Europe. Tommy and Harry especially enjoyed a vacation that took them to China and Hong Kong. Tommy’s home was furnished with a remarkable number of fine collectibles, including books, historical documents, china, crystal, and silver, much of which had been acquired during her many travels.

Tommy was preceded in death by her mother, Lela Lowell, and beloved husband, Harry Raymond Palmer, Jr. She is survived by daughters Denise Palmer, Marta Maril, and Lisa Haslett; grandchildren Robert and Robin Maril and Lindsay Dennis; and great-grandchildren Willem Maril, Rexer Knauer, Olive, Ford, and Behr Dennis.

The family wants to thank many individuals whose involvement with our mother’s care during her later years was noteworthy for their positive outcomes. Thank you to Rhonda, Rachel, and Carla for your support and emphasis on a personalized living and caregiving experience; the Concordia Nursing and Support Team; a very special thank you is extended to Martha, Robin, Angela, Kesha, Crystal, Lateara, Rebecca, Lakeita, and Karina for their persistent focus on attentive and responsive care and the importance of achieving Quality of Life benefits.

To the Oklahoma Palliative and Hospice Care Team, thank you to Tarek, Megan, Mona Lisa, and Toya for their dedication to our mother's sensitive, compassionate care, ensuring her comfort and peace at the end of a long life’s journey.

And to Mother’s doctors who cared for her during her final years. Each treated the whole person, prescribing treatment plans that returned long-term measurable Quality of Life results. Thank you to Dr. James Dixson, MD; Dr. Ashley Ford, DO; Dr. Kyle Rickner, MD; Dr. Ronald Sutor, MD; and Dr. John G. Polkinghorne, DDS.

Memorials may be made in Tommy’s honor to the Oklahoma Historical Society or the Oklahoma Humane Society.

The family will receive friends at the funeral home Wednesday, September 18th from 5 pm to 7 pm.

A celebration in honor of Tommy’s life will be at 10:00 am, Thursday, September 19th at Chapel Hill Funeral with a private family burial in Chapel Hill Memorial Gardens.