It is with bottomless sorrow that we announce the passing of Kenneth Laverne Neff on the evening of January 26th. Tasked with the honor of penning an obituary, I lie in bed the evening of my father’s death pondering how I could possibly sum up a man’s life in two columns of newsprint without risking diminishing his amazing life. In the end I decided it wasn’t possible, as a life lived such as his would take volumes to fill. Knowing him as I did, I’m hopeful he’ll forgive me if my efforts fall short.
Kenneth Laverne Neff was born on his grandparent’s farm October 7th 1937 to Harvey Neff and Mary Peterson Neff in Green Top Missouri. Dad had an older sister Christine at the time of his birth, he would later be joined by brothers Samuel, Robert, Gayle and David and sisters Helen and Cheryl. At the time of his passing Kenny was survived by only Robert and Cheryl. When Dad was five Harvey moved the family to Waterloo Iowa to work in the John Deere plant which had been retooled to manufacture ammunition for World War II. Dad recalled rooting through small garbage dumps for items to recycle for the war effort going as far as to save tin foil from gum wrappers. In Waterloo the house they lived in had running water indoors but no indoor toilets. As such dad recalled many quick trips to the outhouse on cold winter nights. After the war the family moved back to Missouri and settled in the small town of Novinger. While residing in Novinger the family home backed up to a small lake known locally as “Long Lake” Dad said those years of living in Novinger and fishing on the lake in the summer and ice skating on it in the winter were the happiest of his childhood. Although that period of his life to date was his happiest, it was by no means an easy time. With so many mouths to feed and being the oldest son Dad was expected to work and contribute. When he was twelve his father said if he wished to continue with school, he would furnish him a place to sleep and eat but the rest was up to him. His father taught him to trap muskrats, racoons and mink. Dad would get up in the dark and run his trap lines in the winter before school. He also carried in coal and carried out ashes for several of the widows in town for 25 cents and mowed lawns in the summer. When he was 15, he lied about his age (you needed to be 16) and got a job with the highway department for the summer, he said it was the best job he’d ever had.
Dad attended Novinger high school and graduated in the class of 1955. In his senior year dad said a pretty sophomore girl caught his eye, he asked her on a date, and she promptly said “no”. Anyone who knew my father at all knew he didn’t easily accept no for an answer. He pestered her until she finally said yes and in 1957, he married that girl, Martha Kay Smith. The saying that behind a great man lies a greater woman could not be more accurate in the case of Marty.
Having grown up poor and seeing little opportunity for himself and his future family in a small Missouri town Dad packed up his car and drove to California with little money and the hope of a brighter future. When he arrived, he lived with his cousin Dale and his wife Louis and found work digging ditches for the Berry Construction Company. Once he found work and a small apartment to live in, he drove back to Missouri and collected Mom and brought her back to California where they would remain and raise their family. Seeing promise in him the owner of the company enrolled him in the carpenter apprenticeship program. Dad went on to work for Berry Construction for some 15 years working his way up to the level of Superintendent. In 1972 he left Berry Construction and after a failed attempt at starting a business with a partner, Dad with the help of our mother founded K.L. Neff Construction. Applying the work ethic instilled in him as a 12-year-old Dad would go on to find well-earned success as a commercial contractor. Although he dabbled in some private work and hospitals his primary focus was public school construction. Numerous schools in the Inland Empire have bronze plaques that bear the name K.L. Neff Construction. He was a man of high standards not only for himself but for those that worked for him. He wanted loyalty and for that employees would receive loyalty in return. During downturns of the economy Dad always kept his core group of employees working, even If that meant taking money out of his pocket to do so. I can remember mother saying there were many weeks they would not take a draw to make sure his workers got paid. For that sentiment many of his employees started and ended 30-year careers with his company. A subcontractor new to working with Dad asked a competitor their opinion of him. They summed it up in three words “firm but fair”. Dad said that was the highest compliment anyone had ever paid him. Dad would retire from running K.L. Construction in 1995 leaving the day-to-day operations to his sons. I told my father on several occasions that I would have never had the courage to strike out like he did, mortgage his home and start a company with not much more than a pickup truck and a few power tools and that I was eternally grateful for all he had done for his family and future generations.
I have painted my father as a builder of buildings, but he was so much more. He was a builder of a family, a builder of friendships, a builder of countless lives better for him having lived. Although I describe a kind of a bootstrap kind of success for my father his business was not his proudest accomplishment. His family, sons, grandchildren and great grandchildren were his proudest achievements. He loved them unconditionally. I think the role of grandfather suited him the best as he was often chided for spoiling them, an admonishment he rarely heeded. Dad had a saying, “never forget where you came from”. Holding true to that, and his humble beginnings, Mom and Dad contributed generously to several charities. Among those were San Antonio Community Hospital, City of Hope, Upland YMCA and other small organizations too numerous to count. Dad was particularly proud of his 12 years in which he served on the San Antonio Regional Hospital Foundation board. Dad had a wish to die at home. Despite being so ill toward his last days mother worked to fulfill his request. She spent countless days and sleepless nights along with his favorite caregiver Nancy to make him as comfortable as possible. For her selfless sacrifice in caring for Dad at home until the end we will be forever grateful. Kenney is survived by his wife of 65 years Martha, sons Kevin (Lisa, whom he always treated as his own daughter) of Cody Wyoming, Keith of Greentop Missouri, grandchildren Amber, Michael ,Haleigh and Karleigh. Great grandchildren Nathan, Jamie, Adalina, James and Bobby.
I don’t know what lies for us after death, wars have been fought over who’s got that right. I personally believe that whatever God you may believe in there is an energy in all our souls that never goes away but rather reinvests itself in the hearts that we touch during our time on earth. No piece of granite with his name etched in it will ever come close to lasting as long as the love that my father left in all those who were fortunate enough to know and love him in his lifetime.
I have attempted to describe the life of a successful man, but I believe Ralph Waldo Emerson sums it up best.
To laugh often and much
To win the respect of intelligent people
And the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics
And the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better
Whether by a health child, a garden patch,
Or a redeemed social condition;
To know that one life has breathed easier
Because you lived here
This is to have succeeded
Rest easy Pop and may you be forever young. There will be a memorial service starting at 11:00am on February 8th at Red Hill Country Club open to all friends and family followed by a reception. As per his wishes Dads remains will be interned in the spring at the Jewel Cemetery in Green Top Missouri alongside his parents and siblings. Flowers are accepted however in lieu of flowers please feel free to donate to a charity of your choice.
COMPARTA UN OBITUARIO
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