Rose Nusz Showalter

This is our recognition and tribute … to Mom!

We know … what she did for us!

There is no denying that Mom’s death, coming as it has, so much and too soon, gives us sorrow or even anger. You may even find yourself feeling numb … where you would expect there to be pain. I thought I was prepared for her death … but I really wasn’t. It never crossed my mind that one day she would be gone. I just thought she would always be there.

I took her to all her doctor appointments, discussed the issues with the doctors … I knew everything about her health and in some way … I foolishly thought it would give us an advantage.

She began to walk slower, started to hold my hand, then I started dropping her off at the front, parking the car and running up to her. She refused to use the 4-wheel rollator AND … the walker, … you know Mom … if it didn’t look good … it wasn’t for her.

She had a laptop, an iPad, a cellphone, and even an Apple watch – all never used. She would be so excited when we she got the new electronic gizmo, she’d unbox it, be all smiles and set it next to the stove or on the kitchen table where … it would stay and never move. She just had to have, whatever John and I had.

It’s so upsetting to watch your parent’s grow old. One day … you recognize they aren’t as young as before. Then you quickly understand just how precious your parents are. After their death, you find yourself asking “What If”, or “If Only I Had”, or even more horrific … “I’m So Sorry”, … emotions that disturb or confuse you. I think it comes from shock, sadness and consternation, and I suppose we have to try and accept our feelings; and to understand and appreciate life.

And so we are here today to celebrate the miracle of Mom’s life and all that she gave to us through her living. Everyone in this room is a testament to the importance Mom placed upon family and friendship.

A powerful revelation occurs when the people you love most … will only exist in photographs and memories AND the last time you saw them … WAS the last time.

Sadly … there is no warning … before the Last Hug or before the last I Love You.

Mom was born Rose Adell Nusz 89 years ago, into a family who originally moved from Germany in the early 1800’s to Bullitt County Kentucky. She was raised by her Parents, Grand-Parents, Aunts and Uncles, experiencing farm life in the Shepardsville area.

A time when the internet, computers and cell phones never existed. Letter writing was the choice of long distance communication, as long distance phone calls were costly and kept short, and if you lived in a small town, like Mom, you only dialed 4 numbers to reach another household.

Mom and Dad were married in 1953 and divorced in 1964; when Mom was 28. Mom married her second husband, (Bill) in 1966; he developed lung cancer in 1970 and after surgery, the doctor recommended moving to Florida. So we moved to Altamonte Springs in 1972, Bill passed the following year; Mom was only 37 years old.

Over the years Mom worked at Jacobson’s, The Chamber of Commerce, and while working at the Central Florida Scene, she met Steve Willis, I’m guessing around 1980. Steve was a handsome man and Mom was madly in love with him.

They began dating, then living together and married in 1996. The plan was to be married on a cruise by the Captain … arrangements were made and Steve took both families on a cruise to be a part of their marriage.

Mom and Steve traveled extensively throughout Europe where they made many endearing friendships, their travels included Mediterranean, Baltic and Caribbean cruises.

Mom was raised in a life always spent with family and friends, a life devoted especially to her children, grand-children and great grand-children. She never put herself first, but she expected family to do … what they were supposed to do and expected everyone to be forgiving of one another.

Mom would never ever let anyone see her unless she was dressed to the “nines”. That’s our Mom … a bedroom turned into a closet … full of designer clothes, with 100 pairs of shoes and … always a model of … good taste … fashion … and great looks.

Mom and Steve were only apart when Mom would take the grandchildren on cruises … without the parents. The stories she told would make your jaw drop and I’m sure she didn’t tell the most dreadful ones.

Throughout Steve’s retirement, they continued to play golf, visit friends, dine out, dance and travel. They were a very devoted couple, and his passing in 2014 was particularly hard for Mom. Then her final companion, Pepe … her little Yorkie, passed last year in 2024.

She was always a worrier, but that just meant she cared. She cared deeply about not only her own family, but about others as well. Family was immensely important to her. Her father passed when she was only 23 and her mother at the young age of 35. Her Aunt and Uncle in KY (Hazel & Theo), became pseudo parents in her eyes.

Theo, died in 1983 when Mom was 47 and so Mom cared for Hazel when the time came, as best one can do from across many states, making sure bills were paid, keeping an eye on Hazel’s bank account … and flying in when Hazel didn’t sound good on the phone or had to go to the hospital. Mom was 58 when Hazel passed.

So, it becomes remarkably clear just how important your remaining family becomes … when the maternal and paternal lineage above you and to your sides are no longer present. Your ancestors have slowly disappeared from your life … the gravity of their loss starts to have an emotional impact upon you.

After death, it’s the little things you begin to think about when you’re alone … that really hurt. I wish I had spent more time with Mom. Then you start to believe … you could have been a better person in their life.

Mom loved going to the beach with the grandchildren. They would all meet at her house before departing to make plans … where to go, what to do, places to visit … then driving to the beach … this went on for years and years. The beach, the pool, eating out, cooking on the grill, walking on the beach and playing board games all night.

Mom was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 2008. John went to Mom’s house for something and immediately called me. He said her speech just doesn't sound right, you need to come over here and listen to her. I immediately went there, and the three of us went to ORMC; within 3 hours we received the bad news. Mom being Mom, said she knew exactly when it happened and what caused it. She was riding her bicycle when she was 16 years old, fell off and hit her head on the concrete sidewalk.

Surgery … then countless rounds of radiation treatments. Finally … everything was behind us, everything seemed to have gone well. Mom was so afraid of it returning, she requested MRI’s every 6 months even when the doctor said annually is fine, for now. Many years passed … then one day … something showed up.

The tumor was growing even faster … then, more and more radiation treatments … until she had received the lifetime maximum. But Mom did what she does best … she pushed forward and didn’t let it slow her down … she had too much to live for … the children and her friends … all here in this room.

Sometime in 2016 she began to notice a few oddities. Her writing wasn’t as fluid as before and she began losing dexterity in her hand … eventually she lost the ability to write, and then she slowly lost the ability to speak … but every obstacle drew John and me, even closer to Mom.

Mom did what was necessary to continue to be around those who were most dear to her … her family and friends; … bridge twice a week, hair appointments twice a week, gatherings at Rio Pinar, Citrus Club and events at the Dr. Phillips Center.

The younger generation will never understand the necessity for women … getting their hair done. I get it, I know how crucial it is … having a person work wonders with your hair and make it look like the whole aging process has been slowed or even undone to a degree.

Mom was the only patient at Conway that had her hair done twice a week. The buzz would go around when Mom’s hairdresser arrived. The staff absolutely loved and admired Mom. She was great therapy for the patients … staff … and leadership.

There are so many other things … I could say about Mom:

1. Raising pure breed poodles. John and I moved the kitchen table out to put in a huge puppy box in its place.

2. Or … how she lived in the hospital room for months in 1976, sleeping on a cot, right next to John, after he suffered a broken femur from an industrial accident. No husband but lots of family, friends and caring neighbors.

3. Or … spoiling her Yorkie … dressing Pepe in a bomber jacket OR a raincoat and boots.

4. THEN … Derby Day, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Mom loved cooking and baking for these events, especially decorating the house for Christmas. Mom put the magic in Christmas.

5. Or … forcing all the kids to take home leftovers after Thanksgiving and Christmas.

6. And knowing … what would be served at her house … for days to come.

And so tomorrow we go back to our regular lives and our respectful responsibilities … maybe … a little more eager to be helpful and kind, … since we have all experienced another death among our family and friends … maybe we learned a deeper meaning of life or … maybe we gained a better understanding of others. I know that if any of us has been touched by Mom’s life and we try to be better people and more caring for each other … what we should feel in our heart … Mom would be so happy!

Mom went to Conway Lakes in June of this year. Of course, John and I were by her side and with her … through it all from the very beginning. Her last few days were comfortable in the presence of her son’s and close friends. Mom waited until we all said our good byes for the day, then we left the room. That was the moment that Mom chose to pass. She looked so peaceful, content and for once … without pain. I’m sure the timing was to comfort those of us in the room.

It seems to me … the most intense clarity and appreciation for the people in our lives, OFTEN COMES … after they have passed away. Mom passed peacefully, Tuesday afternoon, October 21st.

By no means should you consider this a sad eulogy … quite the contrary … this is what John and I saw in our mother, every day. She had inner strength ... yet displayed kindness and compassion on the outside.

Rather than dwelling on the sorrow of the loss … John and I choose to recognize her determination … which highlights her individual strength, her resilience and her positive impact … celebrating a life … WELL LIVED … with the support of her family and very, very close friends.

There are lots of photos in the room … Please walk around and look at all the pictures, take any you would like … to have as a remembrance.

In keeping with the wishes of Mom, there are no funeral services, just this wonderful buffet service for her family and friends.

AND … Please consider making a difference in the life of someone less fortunate and give to:

1. The Orlando Union Rescue Mission AND

2. The Second Harvest Food Bank of Central Florida

These were Mom’s favorite local charities!