Sheila Frances Stead

“Seeing is believing.” For many, those words simply represent a motto of sorts. But for Sheila Frances Stead, it summarized her very essence. She was modest, quiet and observant, taking in everything around her and always thinking before acting. She was a realist, someone who was efficient and practical in everything she did. She was a friendly person who truly cared about those around her.

      Sheila was born on January 18, 1919. She first greeted the world in Oshawa, Ontario. She was the daughter of Harry Lewis and Mabel Kathleen (nee Doxsee) Wallace. She grew up in Oshawa and Trenton, Ontario. Sheila experienced all sorts of new things while growing up. She was brought up to be tolerant and trustworthy, conscientious, responsible and punctual. These traits helped guide her throughout life’s journey.

      As a young girl, Sheila was always aware of how others around her felt, and this quality served her well. With a deep capacity to tolerate the feelings of others, she was generally able to avoid conflicts. It seemed as if she was the family member who was always working to keep stress at bay. Preferring a quiet environment where she could concentrate, Sheila also had the ability to relate well to her family and friends. She was raised with 2 siblings. Sheila had an older sister, Jean and a younger brother, Bob.

     She was constantly involved in activities with her family. Of course, there were the typical spats while growing up, but everyone deeply cared for each other and shared many life experiences over the years. Sheila's grandparents were Robert and Mary Ellen Wallace and William and Emma Doxsee.

      Growing up, Sheila was one of those children who didn’t need to be in the center of a whirlwind of activity. She was content to entertain herself for the most part. She was never pushy when it came to games and other activities, but rather, she was simply able to enjoy the pure fun these could bring. In just about everything she did as a child, she was intent on pleasing both the adults and the other children around her. She took part in a number of activities as a child. Since she liked to understand the nature of things, if she got involved in something, she was fully committed. She was not the best athlete in the neighborhood, but she did enjoy playing softball, bicycling, swimming, skiing and bowling.

       Most folks would say that Sheila was shy until they got to know her. Those who were privileged to know her well learned that she was a solid, good friend. Sheila was reluctant to generalize about people, and she based her friendships on her personal experiences.

      Sheila enjoyed learning immensely. She always had a great memory and was particularly skilled at retaining factual information. She was generally quiet in class, learning best through observation. She often showed great concentration and was competent at completing the tasks at hand. Good with details, she took painstaking care to be accurate in each of her endeavors. All of these abilities culminated in a successful high school career. She graduated from O'Neil C.V.I., Oshawa in 1938.

       While school was an important part of these teen years, Sheila realized that there was more to life than what was going on in the classroom.

       It was a part of Sheila’s nature to be a bit cautious around other people. Because of this, she best trusted those people that she truly knew. She was concerned about how those around her felt, and she always seemed to bring out the positive side of people. She could relate to others and had the ability to see their point of view, to “walk a mile in their shoes,” as the saying goes. In short, the friends who she made, she kept.

      Love can’t be defined or put in a box, but must be experienced. That was absolutely true for Sheila, especially when she met John William Stead. Sheila first met John at a dance in Moncton, New Brunswick in 1944, during WWII. She was a WREN and he was with the RAF.

     She exchanged vows with John on November 13, 1944 in Moncton, New Brunswick.

     She was totally committed to John and maintained traditional ideals about marriage. It was as if Sheila naturally sensed her spouse’s needs, and accepted those feelings unconditionally. That was just one reason why it was fairly easy for the couple to bring their old friends together and to even make a few new ones.

       Sheila was active in the community. She was practical and grounded and based her decisions on first-hand experience. She was responsible and liked working to achieve results rather than just chattering about possibilities. Sheila was a member of several community groups. Due to her excellent organizational skills, Sheila was a welcome addition to the professional and community organizations to which she belonged. She could bring established, successful methods to the table, along with a generous helping of common sense. She was good at making and keeping schedules and never got bogged down in unnecessary details. She was Treasurer of the Rotary Club and Warden of St. Georges Memorial Anglican Church.

      Sheila was a good mother. She had old-fashioned parental values and could handle typical family conflicts in a fair and calm manner. Because she trusted emotions, she was reluctant to force issues and generally used gentle persuasion to resolve situations. In this way she seemed to radiate an aura of warmth and caring to those around her, always thinking before acting. In addition, she was a master planner. No matter how hectic life around her might be, she seemed to know and keep track of everyone’s schedule. Sheila had two children, Chris and Cathy. She would often find herself beaming with pride over some of the things her children accomplished. Sheila loved to watch her children play softball, hockey and tennis.

       Sheila worked hard to give her children a warm and nurturing environment in which to grow up.

       Later on, she was also blessed with five grandchildren, Suzanne, Daniel and Julia Taylor, Gina and Vanessa Stead.

      If you gave Sheila a deadline, she would meet it. At work, she was always on task. She could adhere to any assignment without hesitation and see it through to completion. Her favourite job was working at Sears because she loved clothes and loved to shop. Her primary occupation was working in the office at G. M. 1938 - 1943 and Sears Catalogue 1970 - 1984. During that time, Sheila excelled in working with small groups in order to complete assignments. She was able to quickly grasp ideas and organize and plan the best way to accomplish things with remarkable consistency. In addition, she was considerate when it came to listening to what others had to say. Sheila had a true gift for being able to come up with practical resolutions to difficult problems. She was often the team member who managed to put forth a win/win solution for all parties.

      Sheila entered the Naval forces of Canada on March 29, 1943 and was in active service. She seemed to thrive on the routines offered up by the military. Being a literal thinker with a calm exterior helped her handle the rigors of the military. She was stationed in Coverdale near Moncton, New Brunswick. Through hard work and dedication to her duty, Sheila was a WREN coder, she copied messages from U-boats for transmission to Ottawa for decoding. She earned several awards, including a Canadian Volunteer Services Medal and War Medal 1939 - 1945.

      Sheila liked to experience things first-hand, in addition to simply learning about them. This quality influenced her choice of leisure time activities. A methodical and patient person, she preferred to set aside uninterrupted time to enjoy her hobbies. Some of his favourite pastimes included watching old movies and listening to big band jazz especially Benny Goodman. Sheila's big brush with fame came in 1968 when Benny Goodman, a jazz clarinetist and big band leader came to Toronto for a performance at Massy Hall. She had been following him since 1935, against her parents' wishes, when she first heard him on the radio. Patrick Scott, a writer for the Toronto Star knew Sheila from all the letters she had written to him about jazz and arranged for her to meet backstage with Benny Goodman, the King of Swing. That meeting with BG was a memory she cherished all her life.

But the story does not end there. There were two feature articles in the Toronto Star, another one in the Toronto Telegram and one news item in the Oshawa Times. This was followed by an interview on CBC TV. On may 16, Sheila appeared on Elwood Glover's Luncheon Date program. Because she was so nervous she took her husband John along bet he did not get a chance to say much. Elwood put her at ease and the conversation flowed. As a result of all this publicity she was stopped by strangers at the mall and received phone calls for other BG fans. Her only regret was that her older sister Jean, another crazy jazz fan who and died the previous year, was not there to enjoy her 15 minutes of fame.

       Sheila enjoyed all kinds of things in her life. Sheila favourite actresses where Greta Garbo, Bette Davis and Clara Bo. Reading was also a much-loved activity for Sheila.

       While thorough and measured in her approach to things, Sheila often liked to physically do things rather than just think about them. She was the same way with sports. She loved to watch tennis on TV. She knew all the players and world spend days glued to the TV for each tournament. Roger Federer was her favourite player. She also enjoyed the statistical data and the facts behind the sports.

      An individual who respected and maintained traditional values, her faith was important to Sheila. Her compassion, consideration and sympathy toward others was an outgrowth of her personal beliefs. She was a member of St. Georges Memorial Anglican Church in Oshawa all her life.

      As Sheila looked forward to retirement, she tried her best to be well-prepared. The day finally came in 1984. She had taken the time to learn about her various options and chose her course wisely.

     She managed to stay in touch with a number of her friends and to make new ones as well. She was active in the community and felt fulfilled with the opportunities retirement offered her. She enjoyed her time spent with the The Thursday Burger King luncheon group.

      Sheila Stead left us on May 12, 2011. She passed away Lakeridge Health in Oshawa, Ontario. She was 92 hears old. The cause of death was Heart and Kidney failure. She is survived by her children and grandchildren. Services were handled by Oshawa Funeral Home. Sheila was laid to rest at Thornton Cemetery in Oshawa, Ontario.

      It is said that some people can’t see the forest for the trees. However, Sheila was able to focus on each individual tree and tend to its needs, thus making the forest stronger as a whole. Sheila was a trustworthy, pragmatic and sympathetic person, the kind of woman to whom everyone was drawn. She was thorough and practical, and she was very literal with her words. You always knew where you stood with Sheila Frances Stead. She will be missed.

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STEAD, Sheila Frances (nee Wallace)

WWII Veteran, WREN

Peacefully at Lakeridge Health Oshawa on Thursday, May 12th, 2011, in her 93rd year. Beloved wife of the late John William Stead. Predeceased by her parents Harry and Mabel (nee Doxsee) Wallace. Loving mother of Chris (Donna) and Cathy Taylor (Jim). Cherished grandmother of Gina and Vanessa Stead; Suzanne, Daniel and Julia Taylor. Predeceased by sister Jean and brother Robert. Sheila will be fondly remembered as the world’s greatest Benny Goodman fan. Special thanks to the Centennial Retirement Home. Friends may call at OSHAWA FUNERAL HOME, 847 King Street West, Oshawa (905-721-1234) for visitation on Tuesday, May 17th from 7 – 9 P.M. A Memorial Service will be held in the Chapel on Wednesday, May 18th at 11:00 A.M. Donations made to the St. George’s Memorial Anglican Church would be appreciated.