Elizabeth Topolniski (nee Tate)

Mom grew up in a large family in the North of England. My brothers and sister grew up with a strong sense of that family through stories and visits. Mom had three brothers and two sisters and all of them were very close. Growing up she learned to be independent. In fact at the age of about seven, she was sent to live with her grandmother on the next block as her live in helper.

Her stories about growing up in pre-war England were fascinating to all of us. Going to the picture show on Saturday mornings with an empty jam jar as the price of admission. Getting on the bus with a group of friends for a five mile trip to the beach (and none of them over the age of 12.) Life was very different back then.

When war came, her brothers enlisted and so did she. She was a WAF (women’s auxiliary force) If you weren’t actually fighting on the front lines it was an exciting time to be a young adult.

She met dad at the victory dance the day after the Germans surrendered.

Mom converted from Anglican to Catholicism and three months later they were married.

Dad left for Canada and six months later mom followed on the Queen Mary as a war bride. That fact alone should tell you she was special. Anyone with the courage to follow her heart and move across an ocean was a force to be reckoned with.

Moving to a Polish family in Ville Emard was a culture shock. She soon found out that a large fun loving Polish family was pretty similar to a large fun loving English family. But she did have to learn to cook all over again.

Mom missed home and one day in 1956 saw a newspaper ad for affordable housing being built way out of the city in a place called Beaconsfield. She was sold on the name alone because it reminded her of home. We were one of the first families to occupy a house (that was not a farmhouse) north of the railroad tracks.

We were pioneers out here in “the sticks” as the family called the west island. Going to church on Sunday meant walking from Forest Gardens in Beaconsfield to Point Claire village for Mass.

I don’t think we had a car until sometime in the early sixties.

Mom was a one person UK fan club on the west island. We grew up with an interesting mix of Polish and British heritage. Coronation Street was a television staple. And if there was a Royal Visit anywhere near Montreal we were there. In fact John remembers her marching us down to the bottom of St Charles road and standing on the shore of Lake St Louis with a British flag to wave at the Royal Yacht Britannia as it sailed by on the Seaway. (We never saw it)

Mom made growing up in “the sticks” a fun-filled experience for all of us. And because it was a new community mom and dad were involved with everything. There was no existing infrastructure so they created it. The Beaconsfield Heights Group Committee organized everything from Little League baseball to hockey to Scouts and local Park Field Days.

Vacations back then for a family of six were monumental undertakings. Family camping was the norm and mom had it down to an art-form. Everything we packed had to do double duty and fit in the specially constructed car top carrier. We travelled far and wide on some very memorable trips. And some of our best memories cost very little money, because we didn’t have a lot.

There are so many stories to tell about growing up, but I’ll just mention a couple more.

Mom was an avid antique collector and she restored many “treasures”. How she managed to collect some of them was a bit comical. Twice a year Beaconsfield had special collection days. But being a proper lady, she would not want to be recognized sifting through the piles at the end of a driveway. So it was John’s job to get out of the car and carefully inspect the promising pieces. Mom was behind the wheel in dark glasses and a head scarf.

She had a sense of humor too. One day she was baking an apple pie and mixed up the salt with the sugar. The resulting pie looked fantastic, but tasted terrible. After remaking the pie we decided to play a joke on my friend Peter. He was over for dinner and for desert we all got a piece of the good pie, (while he got the salt pie.) We raved about how good it was … and waited with anticipation for Peter to take a bite. His eyes went large and he looked very confused. Mom managed to keep a straight face through the whole thing but couldn’t let Peter suffer.

She let him off the hook quickly. It was the best practical joke ever played.

As we all eventually moved on and they became “empty nesters” life did not slow down.

We were always amazed at the number of activities mom and dad were involved with:

Gyro: An international friendship club had them travelling around Canada and the US attending Conventions.

Lawn Bowling: Mom was an avid lawn-bowler and had the trophies to prove it.

China Painting: Mom and Dad shared a talent for painting. Mom specialized in China Painting and excelled to the point that dad built her a studio where she could teach classes. Each of the grandchildren have ornaments that grandma helped them create. And all of the family have pieces of her work to cherish.

Mom felt the need to join the work-force for a few years and had an interesting career working in the buying office at Metropolitan Stores.

Meanwhile Dad had opened Creative Home Décor in the Beaconsfield Shopping Centre and she loved trying out all his new products.

They played the property game and moved into four different homes over their home-ownership period, which in the end funded a pleasant retirement. Life at the Cambridge was like living on a cruise ship but dad only got to enjoy it for about six months. He got sick the night of their 60th wedding anniversary party and mom spent three months by his side at the hospital.

Her life slowed down dramatically after that and dementia finally started to take hold. We have bitter sweet stories from these last seven years and we made sure she was well cared for.

Moving into the Masterpiece 2 ½ years ago was a wonderful experience. She had many good days there and lots of stimulation. The staff was caring and well equipped to handle the ups and downs of an Alzheimer patient’s needs.

Her ninetieth birthday party this past March was a family reunion event that we all cherish.

She was at her best. Even though the next day she had forgotten all about it. But we loved telling her what a good time she had.

Mom’s life was full and had meaning. She was the last of the Topolniski family’s older generation. It’s now up to all of us to live up to her standards and make a positive mark on the world.

OBITUARY:

TOPOLNISKI, Elizabeth (nee Tate)

It is with great sadness we announce the sudden passing of Elizabeth Topolniski (nee Tate) on October 22nd 2013. Beloved wife of the late Albert Topolniski, cherished mother & mother-in-law of Jim (Maryanne), John (Linda), Brian, Tracy (Mike). Loving grandmother of David, Justin, Valerie, Christopher, Sabrina, Jenna , Cameron and great grandmother to Michael and Lily. Elizabeth is survived in England by her brother Robert (Dorothy) and many extended family members. Special thanks to the wonderful staff of Le Symphonie - Residence for her care for the last 2 ½ years. Visitation will be held Thursday October 24th from 3 pm – 5 pm and 7 pm – 9 pm at Collins Clarke MacGillivray White Funeral. A funeral service will be held on Friday, October 25, 2013 at 1 pm in the chapel at the funeral home. In lieu of flowers, donations to the Alzheimer Society Canada would be appreciated.