Lillian Dematteis

LILLIAN M. DEMATTEISJune 14, 1917- December 20, 2009 Lillian Mildred Dematteis was born Lilly Emilia Valente in Oakland, California, on June 14, 1917. Her parents were Maria (Mary) and Mario Valente, whom had immigrated to California from the Asti region of Italy in the early 1900’s. She had two older sisters, Ada and Deva, and a younger brother, Mario. Lilly grew up in Oakland and went to public school. She played tennis, volleyball and skated. She went to music classes and learned to play the violin and viola. She could play piano by ear and was fond of saying “I never took any piano lessons.” She liked to go to basketball and football games. She attended Oakland Technical High School where she graduated with highest honors on June 7, 1934. She was Valedictorian of her class and also the recipient of the Citizenship Cup and the Versatility Plaque. She played the violin and viola in the school’s orchestra and was also a member of the Acorn Players, a drama organization. Lillian went on to study linguistics at the University of California at Berkeley and graduated with Honors in Italian on May 21, 1938. She was a member of “Il Circulo Italiano” that performed plays in Italian and received a prize from Columbia University for first place honors in Italian studies at UCB. On May 29, 1938, a week after her graduation, she married the love of her life Louis B. Dematteis, a deputy district attorney in San Mateo County. They met through Lou’s best friend, John Molinari, who was dating Lillian’s sister Deva. Lil and Lou were married at Sacred Heart Catholic Church in Oakland, with Deva the maid of honor and John the best man. After her marriage, she moved to Redwood City where she lived for the rest of her life. Lou went on to become the San Mateo County District Attorney and then a Superior Court Judge, a position he held for 20 years. Together, they had five children. They were married for 57 years, until Lou’s death in 1995. Lillian was very proud of her Italian heritage. She carried this pride with her all her life and passed it down to her children and grandchildren. She was an active member of the Order of the Sons of Italy and the Italian Catholic Federation. She was a great cook who loved to prepare the Italian recipes handed down to her from her mother. It was a happy occasion for the whole family when she prepared her famous homemade ravioli which she served on all the holidays. Although proud of her Italian ancestry, Lilly also faced the prejudice of her times. She felt uncomfortable at school when other students would single out her and her Italian American friends and make fun of them for speaking Italian at home. She ended up changing her name from Lilly Emilia to Lillian Mildred so her name would sound more American, hoping that would help her better fit in better. Lillian, also known as “Diamond Lil”, was a devoted wife and mom who was very active in her children’s lives. She was patient, playful, loving and caring. Together she and Lou had countless friends and enjoyed socializing with them. Later in life they went on many foreign trips along with family and friends. She visited Italy twice, once with Lou in 1967 and again with her children in 1995 after Lou’s death. A very creative person, she made clothes for her children, knitted, crocheted, and worked with leather crafting and ceramics. She was an amateur photographer who printed her own photos up until the birth of her first child Marilyn in 1940. She was a member of the Young Ladies’ Institute and the Redwood City Women’s Club, and was a long-time volunteer with the Sequoia Hospital Auxiliary and at the Filoli Gardens. Lillian passed away in Redwood City at 6:50 in the morning on Sunday, December 20, 2009. She was 92 years old. She will forever be remembered for her love for her family and friends, her devotion, her unending patience, her beautiful smile and the numerous wonderful traits that have endeared her to all those who knew her. She is survived by her daughters, Marilyn Larson and Lillian Schuster (Bill), and her son, Louis F. Dematteis. Her other son, Robert J. Dematteis, died in 1993, and her daughter, Dolores Mackey (Ken), died in 2005. Other survivors include her grandchildren: Dean Passanisi (Susie), Gina Luciana, Karen Larson-Cannell (KC), Julie Larson-Hicks (Guy), Todd Schuster and Gabriela Dematteis; and great-grandchildren Dean Passanisi, Jr., Dylan Passanisi, Scott Larson, Lily Cannell, Scott Cannell, Mario Kaluhiokalani and Keaton Hicks. Funeral Services were to be held at Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Church in Redwood City, Ca., and she will be laid to rest in Gate of Heaven Cemetery in Los Altos, Ca.