Frances Whetstone

Frances Di Martino Whetstone, beloved daughter, sister, friend, and mother passed away peacefully on January 13, 2024, in Carmichael, California at the age of 96. She is survived by her five children, Ruth Ann Godfrey (Kevin), John Edward Whetstone, Jane Ellen Whetstone, Paul Andrew Whetstone (Paula Do) and James Hobart Whetstone (Anah Rygg), five grandchildren, her brother Frank Di Martino, two sisters-in-law and many nieces and nephews. She is preceded in death by her parents, her husband Hobart Edward Whetstone Jr., her brothers Andrew and Peter and her sisters Lena, Theresa, and Rose.

Frances was born March 20, 1927, to Carmella Tantanella and Joseph Di Martino, the second child and oldest daughter in a large Italian family of Sicilian descent in Detroit, Michigan. As a girl, Franny loved to read and could be found in a corner of the house with a crisp apple and a good book, happy to escape the chaotic business around her. Her father Joseph, a proud naturalized US citizen, brought his love of music and delicious food to his family. Mom told us of the homemade pasta, sauces, and fresh produce shared on the family table. Sunday dinners were a special treat. As the oldest girl, Fran helped her mother with shopping and tending her younger siblings. She was a good student, and a hard worker, having gotten her first job at Woolworths Five and Dime. Being the oldest daughter, she admitted she didn’t care about babysitting to earn money because she already did plenty of that at home! Mom graduated from East Commerce High, a business school where she learned the valuable skills of being a secretary. She held many jobs in this capacity throughout her life. In July of 1949, at the age of 22, she was chosen for the rotating title of Miss Detroit Streetcar. Many gorgeous headshots of her were featured on the streetcars of the city for the month that she was Miss DSR.

When Fran was 25, she made the courageous decision to leave the family home and see the world. While working for the US Department of Immigration, she was offered two opportunities between which she had to choose. The first was a position in Germany but then another opened in San Francisco, California. She chose the latter, planned a tour of the country with her friends, then packed her bags and headed out on adventure. While working in San Francisco in 1952 she met Hobart Whetstone, a WWII navy veteran and recent graduate of St. Mary’s College. After a whirlwind courtship they were married on December 20. And so it began! After much wanderlust, mostly on the part of Hobe, they started a family. They lived in several cities in California, Arizona, and Nevada while raising their children, finally settling in Sacramento in 1974 where Hobe took a position with the California state department of alcohol and drug abuse and Fran started working for Wells Fargo Mortgage, and later transferred to the bank where she became the assistant to the senior vice president in the downtown office.

Somehow, Mom did it all. She got up at 6:30 every morning, exercised, made us breakfast, and got us off to school before heading to work for 8 hours. She would come home after 5, make sure we had dinner together, then do housework and make school lunches before she dropped into bed only to repeat it the next day. She encouraged us in all our talents and interests and worked to help provide for our needs and wants. She was kind and interested in our friends, giving her all to nurture our happiness and success. She loved art, music, and literature. She was devoted in her Catholic faith, always seeking greater closeness to God. When she was only 57, Dad passed away. As a fairly young widow, she was anxious to help us find our way, and with the two youngest still teenagers there was a ways to go. In 1992 she was able to retire from Wells Fargo. That same year, she went back to school to study art, her lifelong passion. She earned her bachelor's degree in art from Cal State Sacramento graduating cum laude in 1995 at the age of 68. She developed her artistic talents to our great pride and joy and continued to study art and paint for many years. She served in her Church community, becoming a eucharistic minister, and attended prayer circles and retreats, affiliating with the Community of Passionist Partners (CPP). She volunteered at Mercy Hospital, sang with The Red Hats, and joined aerobics classes and Tai Chi classes. She enjoyed travel and visited many countries and parts of the United States, through art workshops, with hiking clubs, and with Catholic pilgrimages. She loved to walk and could set a pace for the best of us!

We, and her extended family always knew she cared. She wrote letters and sent cards and was always there for a conversation or a loving encouraging word. Her understanding and empathy knew no bounds. She lived with grace and strength, compassion and discipline. By her example she taught us forgiveness and unconditional love. She had class and elegance, and a radiant smile. Even in the most recent years, she was able to form relationships of love with her caregivers, never wanting to be a bother or a burden but encouraging them with her good cheer and sweet spirit.

Frances, our mom, lived with the light of Christ our Savior with whom she is reunited at last. Our hearts are filled with gratitude for her influence, peace at her passing, and sorrow at her absence until we see her again.