Tinka Cocke Tarver

What is a Tinka Tarver? Someone actually asked our mom that question at one of her art shows. And we, as a family, have often asked ourselves the same thing. She was and is our mom. She was and is the love of Lewis Tarvers life. She was and is an artist. Mostly, she was fulfilled. As her illness progressed and right before she lost her ability to speak, we asked her if there was anything she still wanted to do or see - she answered that she felt like she had done it all. She was happy. Our reaction was, "Well, you've won at life." And she had. Tinkas life was well lived.Tinka was a relentless seeker - of knowledge about herself, of the inner workings of the creative mind, and, of how to express herself most authentically. Her creative reach was audacious and wide and included painting, illustration, dance, sculpture, jewelry-making, writing, and teaching. She did a deep dive into the work of Carl Jung, who led her to a life-long fascination with symbols and dreams, archetypes and colors. She journaled for decades to explore her own psyche, which then, in turn, influenced her art. All of her art - every bit - was infused with meaning, symbolism, and growth. She literally lived her life through her art. Her life itself was a work of art. And she was beautiful.That was the essence of the inner Tinka. The other, the outer Tinka, was mom, wife, sister, friend, and, eventually, grandmother. And even in these roles, she bucked convention. As mom, she was not the typical mom that her kids may have expected or wanted when they were young, but she turned out to be so much more. As wife, she was not the dutiful and docile woman that Lewis may have been raised to expect, but she grew into a wonderful, inspirational, and never-dull partner. If there was anything they learned in their 65 years of marriage it is that you dont just marry your spouses as they are when you marry, but you marry the people they will become in the future (and in Tinkas case, several times over). She and Lewis figured that part out.Tinka taught us that family is central and core, but it is also important to live the life you need to live. Do both and balance it to the best of your ability - try not to compromise either to the point of regret.Tinka was also a friend to many special and spiritual women, as well as an entire community of artists. This too was essential to her marriage to Lewis. They hosted hundreds of dinners in their home for artists and creative people of all kinds - musicians, dancers, historians, and many talented cooks. Together, they traveled to Mexico, Guatemala, France, and Italy.Catharine Cocke Tarver, better known as Tinka Tarver, passed away Saturday afternoon at her beautiful home in San Antonio. Her death comes after ten long years battling Alzheimers and Primary Progressive Aphasia. However, her illness was but the last chapter of an extraordinary life. She grew up in Alamo Heights, in a house designed by her father, architect Bartlett Cocke. Her mother, Mildred Cocke, was a painter, watercolorist, ceramicist, and mean bridge player. Creativity was in Tinkas blood. Her brother, Bartlett Cocke, Jr., became a successful contractor and builder.Tinka knew early on that art would be her passion, and, after two years at Sweet Briar College in Virginia, she returned home to get her degree in Fine Arts from The University of Texas in Austin. After college, she worked as a fashion illustrator at Frost Brothers in San Antonio, until her true love entered her life, Lewis Tarver, who after several humiliating rejections finally convinced her to marry him. Lewis and Tinka had three children -- Banks, Catharine and Clay.Caregivers: We have nothing but profound gratitude for Betty Gonzales - for her love and care of Tinka - as well as her Second Lieutenant, Carolina "Kiki" Levrie, whose special words she shared with Tinka in the moments before she passed will be remembered by our family forever. And all the other wonderful caregivers - Joan Deku, Rose Cazares, Esmelisinda Summer, Brittney Gilbert, and Graciela Zapata. In addition, we deeply appreciate the caring attention and guidance of Randall Trevino of River City Hospice, and our longtime friend, Dr. Bradley Kayser.Tinkas family: In addition to Lewis, Banks, Catharine, and Clay, she is survived by her wonderful grandchildren Walker, Clay, Nanette-Rose, Lewis, Augie, and Charlie; daughters-in-law Claire Walls and Charlene Hamer; brother Bartlett and his wife Winifred, and their children and spouses, Rev. Reagan and Stephanie Cocke, Bart Cocke and Tina Diekmann, and Martha & Scott Wiltamuth, and all of their children; her cousin Patricia Peyton McAplin; and last, but not least, her second cousin in Christ, the Rev. Randy Peyton, who is administering to the family during this difficult time.At this time, the immediate family will be honoring her memory privately. Thank you all for your love and support!