Felisa L. Gatan

A giver, a steadying force, a counterbalance and, as one of my brothers would describe her, a quiet strength in our household and in our lives. Some are larger than life. Individuals whose presence in a room or in a crowd can’t be ignored. Those who bask in the limelight and in the company and the recognition of others. That was not our Mama Bie. That was more like our Papa Ding. Our ever dynamic, oftentimes adventurous late father. Always trying new things. Always curious. Always in motion. Mama Bie was Papa Ding’s antithesis. His counterbalance. The bringer of equilibrium. She was the calm, quiet constant in our lives. She was content with just being in the background and having us and Papa Ding shine. Mama Bie always did her best to make the chaotic world simple for us. Although a person of few words, Mama Bie was big on action. Working tirelessly without complaint, without desire for attention or recognition. Yet toiling tirelessly into the night. Ever reliable as the moor to which her 11 children would attach their anchors. We remember the time when she would walk for kilometers carrying a heavy load of produce and food from the market. She would often forgo taking transportation just to save money to buy that extra bunch of string beans, that extra kilo of rice, a few more pieces of fish we call galunggong to fry for her children. Mama dealt with the practicalities of life. Food, shelter, clothing and love. To say that she sacrificed a lot is a glaring understatement. Mama was a full time elementary school teacher raising almost a dozen children while supporting a husband who pursued his academic endeavours. Money was tight so Mama had to be creative. Backyard piggery, a small dime (sari-sari) store, repacking toasted corn, peanuts to sell. Anything to supplement the income of two teachers with 11 kids to feed, clothe, nurture and house. Sometimes we had to forgo comforts and scrape by but we never felt deprived. She showed us through lived experiences the value of hard work, earning an honest living, patience, fortitude and minding one’s own business. She taught us how to appreciate the little things in life and encouraged us to live simply. There’s that familiar saying that not all heroes wear capes. Mama Bie is one of those unsung heroes. No medals of gold, silver or bronze. Neither were there trophies to display in a cabinet. Or plaques to hang on walls. She did not have certificates for her many achievements and victories. We would like to think that we, her children and grandchildren, are all of the above to her. Mama was always delighted by our successes and achievements. They are hers as much as ours. They are the product of her endeavors and efforts as much as we lay claim to them. Ma, we miss you and we love you. Be at peace now. We promise to endeavor to live a life worthy of your love and sacrifices.