Mary E. Ratliff

Many things can be said about Mary E. Ratliff. Known to friends and acquaintances as a friendly, energetic, empathic and decisive woman, her compassionate nature would always shine through, revealing her charm, warmth and conscientious demeanor. She was warmhearted, gentle and organized in all the things she sought to accomplish. Mary was a mentor, a natural “teacher” capable of seeing things clearly, leading others and bringing out the best in all of those around her. She generally had a focus on harmony and peace.

Mary was born on September 24, 1946 at a Manila military hospital in Manila, Philippines. Her parents were John and Illuminada Holmes. Mary was raised in Monterey, California. When she was young, Mary's friends and family found that “straightforward” and “honest” were perfect words to describe her. Even as a child, Mary demonstrated strong qualities of self-confidence, perceptive ability and a disposition that was enjoyable to those around her.

Mary grew up with three siblings. She had younger brothers Phil, Stephen, and John Jr. Mary was constantly involved in all sorts of activities with her family. She was even-tempered, taking care not to get involved in too many family conflicts. This quality served her well, in perpetually bringing harmony, understanding and a sense of peace to the family. Mary carried these traits into her adult life and served as one of many reasons why family and friends found her pleasurable and delightful to be around. Mary was a person who genuinely understood and cared for others, making powerful connections with those she knew.

During her high school years, Mary had a natural flair for cheering on and applauding just about everyone. She was constantly offering her support and encouragement to fellow members of the groups and activities in which she participated. She graduated from Monterey High School. She did well in school and genuinely enjoyed telling stories in a way that drew people to her. In this way, Mary had a talent for becoming the center of attention, a kind of social catalyst. Mary was often found to be the lead person facilitating a group activity, frequently filling the role of being “the life of the party.” Teachers and classmates knew Mary as an excellent listener. She placed a high value on learning and always understood that there was a new lesson to be grasped waiting for her just around the corner.

Always considered a “good” friend, Mary sought to understand the things that others enjoyed. For this reason Mary always seemed to possess a never-ending collection of acquaintances. Mary’s friends found her easy to know and get along with because of her talent for being socially at ease, adept at conversation, and always amiable in her dealings with others. Mary would always seek to learn what her friends enjoyed, and she would go out of her way to make sure that their needs were met. Mary was always seen as the type of person who was the more gracious giver. In fact, she sometimes felt ill at ease when she was the one on the receiving end. Throughout her life she had many friends. While growing up, some of her best friends were Milchor and Josephine Green. Later in life, she became friends with Frances and Leroy Jolivet, Fred and Carolyn Dudley, Pauline Maciel, and Paul and Esther Milioto.

On February 12, 1983 Mary married John D. Ratliff at a home ceremony in San Jose, California. Compassionate and devoted, Mary worked hard to make her new family happy. She was always generous with her time and this meant that John came first in Mary’s book. She was always caring and made certain that she considered John’s feelings. By trusting her emotions, Mary did her best to make sure that both the marriage and home life ran smoothly. This is just one more example of how Mary was truly a person of empathy.

Mary’s quality of being a caring and tolerant person who was very accepting of others translated to being a good mother to her children. Mary shared these values with her three children. She had one son, Shawn, and two daughters, Stefanie and Tracey. Mary was also blessed with eight grandchildren, Roma, Lisette, Benjamin, Angelique, Tiya, Jaydan, Niya, and Anthony. Mary related well to children of all ages and was able to connect to them on their level. The children always loved her and she was completely and totally devoted to them.

Mary experienced success in her work life over and over again. Her primary occupation was as a corporate executive/manager. She was employed for over 20 years by PacBell until early retirement, and over 10 years with Administaff. Mary always made the effort to understand what was needed at work, and was well known by her colleagues as a team player. Mary took pride in managing her professional responsibilities and seemed to always know what was necessary to successfully complete a project. Mary was one to take the initiative and her skills at working cooperatively were highly valued. Mary continually sought to learn what her co-workers did well and how they were most effective, a talent that enabled her to help them develop their own potential.

Because she was organized and methodical, Mary took great pleasure in her various hobbies, but her favorite pursuit was simply spending time with her grandchildren. Mary enjoyed sharing her passions with others and could singularly focus on one hobby at a time.

Mary was well known to others for her ability to naturally and conscientiously move into action to help others, a quality that placed her as an active contributor to many community activities. Charismatic by nature, she was always viewed by others as someone who built bridges, connected to people, and upheld her personal values. She served on committees for the Career Closet. Politically, Mary was Democratic Party.

Mary enjoyed traveling, and because she was so well organized, she would take on the responsibility of planning and scheduling all of the family vacations. Her gift for keeping things lively meant that vacations with Mary were always enjoyable. Favorite vacations included trips to Hawaii, Las Vegas, the Grand Canyon, and a cruise to the Caribbean.

Mary passed away on March 17, 2010 at home in San Jose, California. Mary fought a brave battle against cancer. She is survived by her husband John; children Shawn, Stefanie, and Tracey; grandchildren Roma, Angelique, Lisette, Ben, Tiya, Jayden, Niya, and Anthony. Services were held in the Chapel of Roses at Oak Hill Funeral Home in San Jose, California. Mary was laid to rest in Vista at Oak Hill Memorial Park in San Jose, California.

Throughout her life, Mary was a gregarious and enthusiastic woman. She was generous in sharing her personal attributes, giving and helping those she knew and loved. She would often fill the role of coach, bringing out the best in everyone. She was imaginative, original, tender hearted and easy to get along with. Mary leaves behind her a legacy of life-long friendships and cherished memories. Everyone whose lives she touched will dearly remember Mary E. Ratfliff.