Wallace Filek

FILEK, Wallace – With broken hearts, we sadly announce the passing of Wallace Francis Filek, a dear devoted husband to Esther for 62 years, in his 87th year. He was "Daddy", a great role model for his daughter, Debbie (Corey Gibson) and his son, Paul (Janice Loudon). Grandpa Wally will be missed immensely by Brittney, Dana, and Spencer Filek-Gibson as well as little Adam Loudon Filek. Wallace was predeceased by his brother, Blondie and sister-in-law, Cassie. He is survived by one brother, Richard. He was a very gentle man, always smiling, and very generous to all he knew. Uncle Wally will be missed by 2 nieces and 9 nephews, especially Marvin Filek, who in recent times, spent many hours helping him dismantle his basement wood shop. In his younger years, Wally was joint owner of Filek Bros. Garage on Queen Street and then Midas Muffler Shop on Great Northern Road. Following this, he owned and operated Action Lube Shop. In his retirement years, woodworking became Wally's passion, and the basement became his wood shop, surrounded by sawdust. His legacy of hard work lives on in his family. He has left a lunch pail full of great memories. Friends may call at the Arthur Funeral Home & Cremation Centre on Thursday, March 1, 2012 from 6-9 pm. Funeral Mass will be celebrated from St. Jerome’s Catholic Church on Friday, March 2, 2012 at 12 noon. Msgr. Victor Amadio officiating. Entombment Holy Sepulchre Mausoleum. The family requests memorial contributions to ARCH, where he spent his last days.

Wallace Francis Filek was born Valentinius Marianus Filek, the second son to Frank and Zofia Filek on December 11, 1924 in Barzwald, Poland. He and his older brother, Blondie grew up in a rural farming community as his family belonged to a farming co-op. He would have chores to tend to before going to school everyday. He described his house as having walls 12 inches thick with no central heating. They would warm themselves by the fire in the kitchen, wrap themselves in their duvets and run to their beds. When he was about 8 years old, his father, Frank left for Canada and sought employment in Sault Ste. Marie at the paper mill. Some time after that, Zofia joined him leaving the boys with an aunt in Poland. Relatives in Chicago learned of the family's separation and provided the funding for the boys to travel to Canada. Wally and Blondie were packed up and, with notes pinned to their jackets about how much milk to feed them daily, they embarked on their trip. Initially, the seas were too rough to travel so they were transported to another port and boarded the ship bound for Halifax. They were in bunks in the steerage compartment where they developed sea sickness and vomited for 3 full days until a woman found them, cleaned them up and treated their dehydration. They were brought up on the deck where they did well with fresh air and some food and drinks. Once in Halifax, the boys made their way via train to Sault Ste. Marie at 10 and 13 years of age and speaking only Polish. They were reunited with their parents and lived on Hudson St. Soon after they arrived, Zofia gave birth to a third son, Richard. She was continuously ill after the delivery and died from puerperal fever when Richard was 6 months old. There was some community support for laundry and cooking but Wally was largely responsible for Richard's care while his dad was at work. Wally had a tough time in school in Canada with the transition to English. He tried his best but with his inability to succeed, he skipped a lot and went to hang out with Catsy Perron from whom he learned engine repairs. Here he clearly shone and was very curious about how things worked. On a Saturday, he would take the radio completely apart and then reassemble it just for fun. Wally eventually left school for good after sixth grade. He had a very engaging smile and was generally good-natured, often peppering his conversation with sarcasm which was quite witty. Wally sometimes had difficulty finding the right words to express himself, so , said very little, but when he did, it was usually very blunt and to the point. Despite his paucity of words, his feelings were oceans deep and he always sought out the best in people. His mischievous look and twinkle in his eye earned him lots of social attention. He did very well in his work at Boston's and earned regular salary increases based on his productivity and good rapport with the customers. Wally 's generous nature earned him some indirect media attention when he loaned his car, bearing the initials of WFF, to a friend who then executed Sault Ste. Marie's first bank robbery. His good looks were noticed by many young girls in the Soo, but his attention turned to Esther Baiocchi in the late 1940's when he propositioned her on Gore Street in his silver truck. Not unlike him, she commented sarcastically, which spawned an off and on 3 year courtship. Finally, on May 20, 1950, Wally and Esther were married at Holy Rosary Church in the west end. They spent their honeymoon in Niagara Falls and Cleveland where Wally met some of Esther's cousins. Initially they lived in an apartment on Bush St. Wally worked at Boston's and then joined Blondie at Algoma Contractors doing large engine repairs. Wally and Esther moved to a house they built together on Patrick St. where they lived for 5 years. It was during that time that Debbie Jane Filek was born. They sold the house on Patrick St. and a year later moved into a home in the east end on Florwin Drive, also built by Wally. After 18 years, the brothers quit their jobs at Algoma Contractors and Wally joined a partnership with Richard in the purchase of a garage at the base of the International Bridge across from the Verdi Hall. Filek Bros. Garage was the first service shop to dispense Sunoco gasoline at the pumps. Here they worked on general automobile and transmission repairs. Lots of coffee and doughnuts were consumed at this meeting place where many of the characters of Wally's youth gathered. Wally and Richard had, by then, trained many young men in the art and science of car repairs along with the business aspect of running a garage. Eventually, Ken Bloye purchased the garage and carried on the business under another name. In 1967, Esther and Wally welcomed Paul Frank Filek to their family. Wally was an incredible role model for his children. He was gentle and kind, but had a way of garnering respect and cooperation without really ever raising his voice. Debbie and Paul wanted to be with him even if it involved cutting down trees, hauling wood, digging for spring water at camp, or building the current house on Oak Park Drive. Work was always involved. In the early 70's, opportunities for a franchised muffler shop came to be and Midas Muffler Shop opened. Years later, Wally also opened Action Lube Shop on Great Northern Road next door to the Midas Shop. Finally, in his late 60's, Wally retired for good as a mechanic. Not being a guy who could really stop working, his interests shifted to wood working. He always loved Mother Nature and trees were special to him. He liked the challenge involved in felling them, making fires with their wood, and then his woodworking hobby. This became a passion for him and helped sustain him. He had his own wood shop in the basement, a man cave of sorts, where he made his own lathe to turn spindles on and had so much equipment that it was museum-worthy. Wally took on many jobs at the church whether it was making tables for the alter, birdhouses, mallets, toaster tongs, and candlestick holders. He also worked at Christmas cheer repairing used toys so that they could be regifted. He sold many of his offerings at the annual church tea giving all of the money to the church. Wally was a very generous guy who went the extra mile and certainly left his mark. His glass was always half full and he rarely complained. Wally and Esther enjoyed 61 years of marriage, idolized their 2 children, and were very excited when every one of their 4 grandchildren arrived, most recently Adam, in 2008. Brittney, Dana, and Spencer, ages 26 to 20, of course, grew up learning all of the greatest lessons from their grandfather. Like how to start a fire with fuel, and repair things when you don't have the right equipment. They appreciated his sense of humour and distinct way of looking at the world. At age 87, Wally was very functional and enjoyed a good quality of life despite having had surgery in earlier years to his heart, gallbladder, a knee replacement, and a pacemaker. Just a few weeks before becoming ill, he had the chain saw out and cut some tree branches at Debbie's office. He will always be remembered for being an ethical person. Wally couldn't believe that he had amassed such treasure in his life having come from such humble beginnings. The things that were important to him were not of monetary value but included first and foremost, his family. Having come to Canada with nothing as a young boy, his destiny was largely determined by hard work and his love of building things. He built all 3 of the houses he lived in, his businesses, and a cottage. Much like his reputation, a solid foundation ensured a future which would withstand all types of weather. Wally met with health-related adversity in January, 2012 which he sadly could not conquer. He died one month after discovering he had a brain tumor with his family at his side. His legacy of hard work, determination, and benevolence lives on as a standard for all to emulate.

This is an update on Grandpa Wally's condition as of today. As you all know, he is in the Sault Area Hospital for investigations of his rather sudden onset of confusion, shuffling gait, and incontinence. He has been diagnosed with a left frontal brain tumour called a glioblastoma. It is large in size and has a lot of swelling around it. This increased pressure is being put on structures involving speech and thus his inability to locate words when he speaks, similar to what happens to people with strokes. He has balance issues because of the swelling affecting motor pathways. Fortunately he has no abnormal sensory complaints and no weakness or paralysis. He may have some mild loss of his cheek fold on the right side of his face and a slight upper lip droop but it is subtle. His words are few, speaking only when spoken to. He has been receiving decadron, a potent steroid since Thursday night which has improved his gait substantially so that he can walk straighter and does not need to hold on. He has stopped shuffling as well. Today he had an occupaional therapy assessment which confirmed that his memory is very impaired although he does recognize all of us and other people who he has known well. In a photograph he confuses names of people but gets the right family. He is having difficulty with deciding what utensils are the most appropriate to eat certain foods with. He is going to have a physical therapy and speech therapy evaluatin this week as well. Neurosurgical consultation has been obtained and a decision to biopsy this tumour &/or resect it is not advised given his other medical issues. He quite possibly would not survive this major surgery. In terms of treatment, chemotherapy would also be very gruelling for him and he may not survive that. Glioblastomas are aggressive and not very responsive to chemotherapy. He is going to have a radiation oncology consultation through the cancer centre at the SAH which is our only real option for keeping the tumour growth stable and potentially with therapy have him regain some skills. This type of tumour is not always very responsive to radiation either. In the meantime, once all of the evaluations are done, he will be transferred to the Rehabilitation Unit at the hospital where they will fully assess his needs in the community and maximize his functioning with therapy so that he can attend the cancer clinic as an outpatient. This may take a few weeks. On a more upbeat note, he is happy, in no pain that he can tell us about, and very agreeable. He is not asking to go home nor is he grumpy. He is rather indifferent, typical of frontal-lobe injured people.

Hi everyone. We are now located in the Rehab Unit at the SAH where Grandpa will be until at least the end of next week. He is having daily evaluations by the therapists. Today I watched him in the gym where he was learning to swing his arms more for better balance with the 2 physical therapists. He had to climb and descend stairs , walk on the line frontwards, backwards, and sideways, go around in a circle and walk with high knees. (you try that on a Saturday night) He has a spiffy walker with wheels and brakes. He knows exactly what to do with this device and smiled when we told him it was a FORD. He really needs shadow flames on it. Custom paint jobs will have to come later. The occupational therapist was in to assess him as well. He has huge problems finding the right words for objects and then once he does, everything else becomes that object afterwards for a time. If he identifies a pencil as a pencil, then everything else will be called a pencil. He gets STUCK, communication wise. The speech therapist is working on helping him with his communication skills with a picture board that he can point to. He really prefers to sleep but they have been working him pretty steadily every day. He seems content but definitely not himself. Now for the plans. He has seen the oncologist in the cancer clinic as well as the radiation specialist. The risks for biopsy and surgery are too great for a man of his age with his medical conditions. They will start radiation therapy in the next 2 weeks and it will run for 3 weeks. The side effects will be minimal with some hair loss and a suntan. Next week he will have a palliative care consult to arrange for services in the home as he will require 24 hour care. Grandma cannot do this independently. I believe that she is tolerating the barrage of bad news she gets everyday with courage and some disbelief. It is sinking in as she watches the therapists work with him. Everyone here has been exceptionally kind, gentle, and compassionate with the exception of one nursing school instructor whom I will personally seek out and deal with. I have spoken with the oncologist and finally made contact with Dr. Walde (very wonderful, brilliant oncologist responsible for our new hospital and many services such as the radiation bunker which Grandpa will use). He will see Grandpa himself (he is retired from hospital practice) on Tuesday morning at 9:00. He has already made some treatment suggestions regarding his medications which have been put into place. Just a sidebar - before the bunker was here, patients had to go to Sudbury for their radiation treatments. The good news is that Grandpa can stay local for his therapy and will be able to be discharged home with care, provided all stays the same. The nurse practitioner who follows patients in the Rehab Unit spoke with Grandma and I today for some time regarding the future and what we might expect with the eventual progression of this tumor. Grandpa may develop weakness, paralysis, more sleepiness, and seizures. Or he may not. It is unknown. Radiation therapy will provide some improvement and perhaps extend his life in the order of months (3-4) with his total time being in the order of 6-12 months. These numbers are all arbitrary, however, because everyday is a new day. What we thought couldn't possibly be happening is now happening.

> There are 30 plus messages on Grandma's phone at home. She is very overwhelmed and by the end of the day flops into a chair and cannot really rehash the story with well-meaning and concerned family and friends. Our cousin Anna has been great and dropped off some food this morning (homemade cappalettis) so we are well fed, if nothing else. As for where they will eventually live, that's up for grabs. Grandma is wanting to stay at Oak Park for now because there is just too much on her plate to deal with. It will depend on how functional Grandpa remains. Paul and I are spelling each other off up here and fortunately, our respective offices have been amazing at running the show in our absence. We can work from a distance for some things and the weather has been very favorable for travel. I will be canceling my mid February solstice in Florida and the Bahamas as I am needed here. Paul will be off the travel list for work for the next while also. Well I will sign off for now. We are heading home to get the laundry done. The occupational therapist has a date with Grandpa on Monday morning to assess his skills with dressing, hygiene, etc. They requested we bring in some sweat pants and t-shirts - not really an option because we all know that any shirt without a pocket is worthless for a guy like Wally. He doesn't own tshirts. So the new PJ's are folded in the drawer because now we have to get dressed everyday in Rehab. Shirts with buttons and pockets will be pressed (of course) as will the cargo pants - his favorite because of the pockets. That's all for now here in the Soo. Stay tuned. Watch out for guys with walkers!

Some of you may not have known but my parents were in the process of making a move to a very nice condo close to the Davey Home in a building where there are 16 units all on the ground floor. It has 2 bedrooms and is fully accessible. When dischrged from hospital, we are hopeful that this place will be their new address. Many homecare services can be arranged in this setting and access to the cancer centre will be easy for my mother. As for the prognosis, it is rather dismal. Because it is unclear just how long this has been there, our remaining time is unsure. We are pursuing quality of life at this point and not necessarily going to make a big impact on longevity. Stats are roughly 6-12 months from the time that the tumour was first there. While this seems to be a very impersonal way to share this news with all of you, I am utilizing technology so that I can help my mom as she, nor Paul or I could ever relay all of this information to all of you by phone, carrier pigeon, snail mail, or smoke signals. Esther is doing remarkably well given that she has never been "not home" so much, is just sitting around at the hospital, and has had to wrap her head around something she could never have imagined might happen. Everyday she is dressed like royalty. She has been set up with food for her at the hospital and she is figuring her dinners out because she stays right through to 7:30 or so PM. I believe she will at some point wear down but for now she knows that she can and will help Grandpa in any way. She is sad for him as are we all. Paul and I are preparing a plan to expedite my parents move and we will both be there this weekend as will Brittney. For now, you can be sure that the little escapades onto the roof which got him into so much trouble with us in the very recent past (October/November) would be completely welcome if only he were able. I will update as needed. Thanks for reading. Stay tuned.

The update is not uplifting. For the past 2 days, Grandma Esther has had the flu. She has been in bed with vomiting and diarrhea, sipping on ginger ale and eating cousin Anna's pusatelli soup. It wasn't the tequila shots, really. It was 7 days of back and forth to the hospital, the stress of it all, the hospital being full of germs, and the balmy weather. Yesterday, after lunch Grandpa, Uncle Paul, Brittney and I went for a good walk in the halls with his walker and then settled back into his room. He chose to sit in the big leather chair but because he falls asleep whenever he sits, we got him back into bed where he had a very good sleep. We stayed with him for an hour and left to get provisions. When I returned, he was unresponsive. Paul rushed Grandma out of her sick bed to the hospital. He was having seizure activity. He was given some Ativan under his tongue and then IV. He had a repeat CT scan which was unchanged. He received a visit from Father Hamish who administered the Sacrament of the Sick and then Grandpa woke up! He looked around and did acknowledge Grandma being at his side. He got transferred to an acute care bed from the Rehab Unit so that he could be monitored more closely. He slept soundly last night and when Paul and I showed up early this morning, he awoke easily but really did not recognize us. He was unable to feed himself his breakfast but ate well with assistance, being very sleepy throughout. He then became unresponsive again this morning with more seizures. We are awaiting the doctor

so that we can decide how best to proceed. Radiation? It may be very difficult to have him return to the community for care as his issues become more complex. We'll talk soon.

We hear the "YooHoo Wally" often from Grandma as she tries to get Grandpa to open his eyes and acknowledge us. It is difficult to see such a strong, robust guy who looks so healthy have such impressive impairments. Well the seizures, although subtle are continuing to happen. We have given Grandpa high dose steroids for about 48 hours now with not much if any improvement. He is in bed full time with decreased movement of his right leg from what we can tell. He moves his arms but is unable to feed himself. He has no spontaneous speech but occasionally we get a little smirky look. He cannot tell us what our names are but we definitely know that he realizes we are his family. This morning the nurse tried to feed him his breakfast but he would not eat. A few minutes later when Brittney and Paul arrived, he ate everything for Brittney including his medications. We saw Dr. Walde yesterday for consultation. He explained the pros and cons of treatment vs. no treatment. Grandma was very logical and with her huge dose of common sense, she told Dr. Walde what her understanding of Grandpa's illness was and what she thought was a good plan. He totally concurred with the idea that it would be fair to allow Grandpa to be comfortable, keep as much of his dignity as possible, and skip the radiation therapy as it may contribute little to his quality of life even if longevity improved by a couple of weeks. So why do it? The meeting with Dr. Walde went well in that we were all in the same room and able to ask questions. He is a very kind and compassionate man whom we update everyday by cell phone. The palliative care doctor has offered us hospice care at ARCH (Algoma Regional Community Hospice) www.algomahospice.org which is a very lovely 10 bed facility on 4th line for end of life care. Grandma is reluctant to leave the hospital setting as she has told her story 4 times to 4 different sets of caretakers and she is kind of beat. Everyday she shows up here at the hospital looking like she is ready to attend a state dinner, give an important speech, or just be her cute, classy self. It is very difficult to say how long this journey is going to take but we are all on this ship together. We have had a lot of company and Grandma is offering everyone cookies and beverages just like at home. Come on, have something! Just a little bit. It's nothing.... Paul will head home for a few days to get his office work done and head right back. I am here until the 19th at this point. Tomorrow, we decide if the steroids are worth keeping and whether we move entirely to comfort measures only. There was a glorious full moon last night as I was driving home. Hopefully, tonight will be the same. Later.

> Finally, today there is some comforting news. Grandpa has been over 24 hours with no Ativan (anticonvulsant/ muscle relaxant)and is definitely brighter. He does not speak spontaneously yet he seems to understand us giving one word yes or no answers. He is trapped inside his own mind. After 4 days in bed, he was able to get up today with the help of the physiotherapist and his walker. He has very good upper body strength so is able to help himself pivot from the bed to the chair. He wants to move his right leg and his mind is trying to get the message there. However, there seems to be construction on the main route. It will take time for the alternate route to be comfortable. The good news is that he can weight bear on his legs. He seems to know us all, especially Grandma. He will remain on the high dose steroids for now and see how the weekend goes. It would be really great if we only knew what he was thinking. He always had a smart answer for most things. When Grandma and I try to move him or reposition him I'm sure he's thinking, "great, the midgets are trying to move the mountain...." anyway, all is well for now. I will keep you posted. Thanks for the well wishes and prayers. And if you haven't done so, check out the moon tonight because it has been wonderful to see it lately when we leave the hospital. It reminds me of Mother Nature, the person in charge.

It's Sunday and Grandma and Grandpa are not going to church or to Root River for breakfast with their gang. However, Grandpa was very bright this morning and said HI when we arrived. He was able to get up this morning with the use of the walker and some substantially-sized nurses who whisked him off to the shower for a wash. I am sure he was buffed and polished just like the drive through because he came back smelling all soapy and clean. He is eating very well but requires us to feed him. In the last two days he seems slightly uncomfortable and attempts to shift himself in bed. Not being able to tell us what is bothering him is the biggest challenge. A few tylenols have seemed to relieve whatever discomfort he has. We have him lying on a sheepskin now to prevent any pressure sores. Yesterday, Grandma asked him if he wanted her to get into bed with him which caused his eyebrows to raise and a smile - priceless!

> We have had a lot of visitors every day which has kept Grandma supported and helps to pass the time. She has her own dishes, food in the fridge, and beverages here in a very nice kitchen for the families. People have been great in providing us with meals, one less thing to have to do after a long day at the hospital. So far, we haven't brought any wine to the hospital but every evening, we sit in the kitchen at Oak Park and have a glass or two or eleventeen. Stay tuned.

Day # 18 of hospital life for Grandpa Wally. He is in bed most of the time but has managed to be up in a chair today for over an hour which was good. Being that it is Valentine's Day, we have roses in his room thanks to Paul, cards from Adam, and DOUGHNUTS! Yes, we have gone all out and a heart shaped doughnut will be his afternoon snack later today. Tomorrow, Grandpa will move to a hospice house called ARCH. It is situated on 4th line in the woods and is a place where he can have whatever he wants to eat with a full time chef on staff, TV in the room, bar fridge, fireplaces, sitting rooms, communal kitchen, and facilities where Grandma can stay full time. Sometimes, people actually improve in terms of their medical condition and can be discharged to home with care. It is not that we really believe that this will happen, but it did help Grandma to make the transition from hospital mode to hospice mode. The hospital is very busy and noisy. Between the floor zamboni and the screaming woman across the hall who coughs incessantly, Paul and I are so ready to have a change of venue. Grandma does not think these things bother him because she doesn't hear them, either! Great. We are quite the group. So it's a car ride for Grandpa tomorrow. As far as his medical status, when he is awake, he is very bright but gives little more than one or two word answers.when he is asleep which is often, he is really deeply asleep and likely having some seizures also. Sometimes when he is awake, he does get a glazed over look to him where he appears to be off somewhere else. Today, he had some discomfort somewhere for which a tylenol seemed to help. So, bring on the doughnuts and up the insulin. Car ride tomorrow.

Stay tuned.

Grandpa Wally is in the woods at ARCH, a beautiful, 5 star residence with all of the amenities of a resort except the spa. Today, we will hang up one of his own birdhouses outside his big picture window. Because we are in the bush here at 4th line and Brule Rd., there are a zillion birds everywhere. They have feeders outside each window also. Apparently, bears have visited on occasion! Anyway, Grandpa is up in a chair for a bit having his lunch and looking around. It is snowing softly. His condition is unchanged. Grandma Esther is doing well and beginning to settle in here. We try to get her home early in the evening as it is a very long day, sometimes in excess of 12 hours. The staff have been amazing and Grandma knows the majority of the volunteers who work here (and there are 87 volunteers). Outside the front door, there is an Inukshuk. All is well for now. Outside the door to Grandpa's room, there is a window cupboard called a memory box. In it, there is a multi-tool, a jar of wood shavings and sawdust, a brass automobile, a wonderful photo of Grandpa, Paul, and Adam, and some patches off of work

clothes - Midas and Action Lube. Great memories.

News from the hospice house is that Grandpa Wally had a busy morning with visitors and viewing some old photos from the 1940's. He must have been spent by this because he has been sleeping all afternoon, even missing his lunch. He is very comfortable in his spiffy air bed and Grandma has been holding his hand whenever his eyes open. The staff here have been very wonderful and we are all being royally cared for. Spencer hung one of Grandpa's birdhouses just outside his window today, being that he is the only one who could just reach up and touch the hooks at the roof line. Stay tuned.

Hello all! Grandpa has had a good couple of days. He gets to wear his own clothes here and today he was up in the chair sitting in the big living room by the fireplace with some visitors. He has also discovered HGTV and is riveted to the TV watching demolition, home renovation, and all sorts of construction challenges. I'm sure if he could speak, he would have some advice for the guys on the TV. He sleeps more in the afternoons and evenings and for the past few days, he has slept through dinner. No worries because you can eat your dinner here at any time of the night or day. Grandma is managing quite well and today, in all of her sadness, she and Spencer had a very enlightening discussion about ladies underwear. First of all, how can you buy underwear at the grocery store (Joe Fresh) and what about the lack of coverage? - not really "panties" anymore. (She actually coined some new terms for such underwear - Shakespeare would be impressed). In whatever way a 20 year old and an 82 year old can bridge the gap: this is all quality time, all around. During his nap this afternoon, Grandma got her perfume bottle out and gave Grandpa a squirt of it. He was startled by this, his eyes flew open, and then by the look on his face, you could imagine his voice, "Esssther!"

The days here are long but they are short. Never is a second wasted. Time stands still here. Memories continue to be made in some weird sort of bittersweet way. Thank you for reading these updates. It helps to journal this experience. BTW, we all get to read the final draft before I touch the SEND button. Stay tuned.

Despite the great intentions of our many visitors, and the huge outpouring of love that has been directed our way, Esther, Debbie, and Paul now request that time with Wally be limited to us alone. He is very sleepy and seems to be comfortable, barely waking for food or drinks. We thank you for honouring our request.

Over the past few days, Grandpa has been getting sleepier and sleepier. When he is awake, he does know that we are here, however.

He can't have chunky food anymore and has been having creamy soups and soft foods as his swallowing is not 100%. Tonight he had a banana milkshake and really enjoyed it. He was up for his dinner, eyes open, and responding to us. He enjoyed a bit of TV, while we talked about how many movies he and Grandma saw at the Princess Theatre on Gore Street when they were going steady and also following their marriage. Afterwards, they would go to Piner's for a milkshake or a banana split. He has lost some weight over the past few days but it's not because Grandma hasn't been trying to get him to eat. She is hard wired to do that of course. Spencer is here and in direct contrast to the limited intake of his grandfather, he feeds every 30 minutes. Well, to sum it all up, in the past few days, Grandpa's check engine light has come on. He has some more miles to go and we will surely be here with him.

Grandpa Wally is closing up shop. He is having more seizures and is awake only briefly for a few minutes every day. He has not eaten or drank for a few days now taking in only a bit to moisten his mouth. It is more for our comfort than his I'm sure. He is on painkillers if he becomes restless or he grimaces and these are given infrequently. Even while dying, he is good-natured. He does not appear to be afraid. When he does open his eyes, he knows we are with him. His skin is cool, he has little spontaneous movement, and he has lost weight. There is not much more to say. Grandma is here every day going home only long enough to have a meal and sleep. It has been 1 month since Grandpa entered the hospital so for 30 days she has been away from home for 10-12 hours. She is quite resilient for someone who is set on her routines. This, I guess, is the power of love.

Thanks for following the story. Talk soon.

Wallace Francis Filek

December 11, 1924 - February 27, 2012

My Grandpa Wally

The boy on the boat with the note pinned to his shirt asking that he be given warm milk each day. I didn’t realize until Grandpa was gone that he was nine when he made that crossing, the same age I was when my family moved. I know how hard it was for me to move four hours away to a place that wasn’t really all that different from home. I can’t imagine what it would’ve been like to cross an ocean, not knowing the language or anything about the place you were heading. He never told me about taking the boat from Poland.

He was a man of few words, probably because it was tough to get one in edge-wise in this family, but he always knew the right thing to say when he spoke, whether he was solving the world’s problems with his buddies at the local Tim Horton’s or asking my grandmother if she’d like him to stick the broom where the sun doesn’t shine and sweep the basement stairs on the way up.

In fact, the most I ever heard him talk was when Mike and I were in the Soo in June 2011 and he drove us everywhere—down to the locks, west past Hudson St., up Fourth Line, past the shop on Great Northern Rd., out to the wind farm on Lake Superior. We went everywhere. And he talked the whole way. He told us the history of Sault Ste. Marie and where he had lived and what he had done and how much it had changed in all the years since he came over on that boat. And it was wonderful—hearing all these words come pouring out of him without prompting. His stories.

But it was really the three short words, usually followed by a hug and a kiss, that started every conversation and visit that I will remember him for: “So, what’s new?” And he meant it. You could tell him anything and he would listen. He may not have said much, but my grandpa was a champion at listening—he heard every word, whether you told him about your biggest problems or just about your day, he listened thoughtfully. I will miss this more than anything.

He was generous and thoughtful, to family, friends, and strangers, often in little ways. I remember him trying to teach me how to drive—it must’ve driven him crazy to have a grandchild (or two) without a license. We got in the car and he let me drive him in circles around Oak Park Crescent for what seemed like hours. His knuckles turned white once or twice when I took a corner too fast, but he never criticized or discouraged; he let me keep going until I figured it out, being supportive in his calm and quiet way.

When I moved into my own apartment, he refinished an old coffee table that had belonged to him and Grandma for me. And, of course, he made me a cutting board. In the Soo, we could always find him in the basement working away at something. If he was coming to visit us, mom would come up with little projects for him and, inevitably, those little projects would evolve into something bigger—much like Father Hamish’s story about the towel bar becoming a whole new bathroom. He was always making something, for as long as I can remember—the saga of the sawdust in the basement having reached epic proportions by my teenage years. I am still in awe of the things he figured out how to do—I hope it’s a trait I’ve picked up myself, though I am better with paper and glue or words and computers than I am with wood and saws and sandpaper.

The sawdust is a reminder that there was always a twinkle of mischief in his eyes, too—something I’m sure his grandchildren have all inherited. He was fun. He used to try to steal my dessert when I was little, moving the plate away when I wasn’t looking. And climbing onto the roof to remove the snow was nothing short of a neighbourhood legend. He was just doing his thing as the king of Oak Park, I suppose. He had that sense of playfulness about him; he was always ready for an adventure or to try something new. This might be why he never seemed old to me. It is probably also why we were all so impressed that he ended his life with all of his fingers and toes.

It seems to me, too, that he ended his life much like he lived it, with a great deal of dignity and grace, good humour in the face of difficult circumstances, and a great deal of love for his family. The last real words Grandpa said to my mom and I were in the dining room on the rehab floor at the hospital. Things were not looking good at that point, and my mom asked him if he was worried. He told her no. She asked if he was scared. Again, he told her no. He said, “I just hope everything turns out all right.” And I think, if he was worried at all, it was about us.

My Grandpa was an incredible role model—he was the kind of person I think we all hope to be, at least, I certainly would like to be like him. Many people have said to me that grandpas are special. None more than mine—I am so grateful for the life he helped to make possible for me, coming over on that boat all those years ago, working so hard, and giving so much. I love him and I miss him and I’m so lucky to have had him as my Grandpa.

Brittney A. Filek-Gibson

To my grandmother –

Wally was not a man of many words, but the ones he said were worth remembering. From an ocean away, in my memory he is far from gone, still tinkering in his workshop or sneaking off to the hardware store. I will always carry with me his voice in my head – giving practical advice, making wise observations, or offering one of his many one-liners, taken down for posterity and revisited at every get-together, every reunion, every family dinner – and I will remember those startling, lung-flattening, vacuum-tight hugs that could cover a person and remind me both of the strength of my grandfather and the love he possessed. He instilled in us all the value of hard work, the minimal cost of showing respect, and just exactly how much trouble you will get into if you scale the roof at Esther Filek's house. Wally stays alive in my memory, and every time he pops into my head I am amazed at his unfailing ability to bring a smile to my face.