Stefani Malene Dochtermann

On January 8th 1948, Stefani Malene was born to Norwegian-American parents, Ragni and Ingulv Eldegard in Seattle, Washington. Since her mom was a full-time nurse at Seattle Children’s Hospital, and her dad an electrician, Stefani was a latch-key kid. This independence led her to make lifelong friendships in her neighborhood which she endearingly maintained till her last days. She was an only child which gave her many opportunities with dance, piano, swimming, horseback-riding, and deportment lessons. Her father had been on the Norwegian ski patrol during WWII and turned into an avid ski jumper as a young adult. His love of slopes brought them frequently up to the surrounding mountains in Seattle where he taught young Stefani how to ski. She always used to call this her “road game” as a joke…. since as an adult she rarely pursued the slopes, or other long lost hobbies of childhood.

After graduating from Seattle’s Ingraham High School, she attended Colorado Women’s College for two years. She interrupted her studies in 1969 when she met, fell deeply in love with, and married Ludger Dochtermann, a German immigrant who was living in Seattle. Stefani and Lu moved to Los Angeles and lived on the edge of a hippie life, with sunny California dreams. But Stefani said “Lu could not stand to be poor; he was the worst hippie.” He was not quite carefree enough to maintain true to the movement and a little too hard of a worker so their lifestyle shifted. They decided to move to Germany to help run a family bar of Lu’s brother, where Stefani became fluent in German and grew close with that Dochtermann side of the family. After spending a few years abroad they returned to California, and Stefani received her bachelor’s degree in history from California State University, Northridge. She later received a teaching certificate from Western Washington University in 1984. After living a somewhat nomadic lifestyle for the first 10 years of their marriage, going back and forth between Los Angeles, Braunschweig, Seattle, and summers in Alitak, Stefani and Lu finally made the decision to settle in Kodiak, Alaska. Lu had become a man of the sea, a fisherman.

The reason for the move was two fold. They had become parents to two daughters, Sharnico and Katrina, in the late 70’s and it was time to plant some roots. Stefani devoted her life to raising the girls and helping raise her two step sons, Shawn and KC Dochtermann. The boys came to live with them in their teen years. She and the boys helped Lu run their family fishing business. Then in the early 90’s Stefani crawled out of the crab pot and went to work for the Kodiak Arts Council as the assistant to the director and then the performing arts coordinator. She spent 20 years helping promote and bring a wide array of live, cultural and musical performances to the community of Kodiak. This job introduced her to her best friends, Gerry and Nancy.

While Lu was fishing year round during the early days of their Alaska life, Stefani and the kids lived in a house Lu had purchased (sight unseen to her), out in the trees and shadows of Monashaka Bay. The house was unfinished and you could say, rustic was an understatement. It had no running water and the wood stove fire that heated them through the harsh winter nights often extinguished before morning. The rusty, old Chevy blazer that sometimes started, and many times slid back down the steep, icy driveway ferried the kids to school. Reflecting back on these tough times and early days, you realize Stefani was tough. She had a real core, a solid inner strength that we look back on often and admire. We are amazed at her dedication, devotion and endurance under such circumstances. I guess you could even say a little stubborn, but stubborn in a good way.

Through the next decade, times got better, the fishing got more prosperous, and all the hard work started paying off. Their business grew and they upgraded from the Three Sister’s junk yard to “The Barbie Doll Dream House.” Eventually, they bought secondary homes in Seattle and California intended for retirement and the “golden years.” As they began to grow old together, Stefani and Lu once again embarked on their love of travel, and visiting places rich with history and culture. They enjoyed cruising and voyaged to different destinations across the Pacific, Atlantic and South America.

As is typical for a fisherman’s wife, Stefani bonded with other wives left alone on the shore. Her friendships with her neighbor Rita, then Gina, and Kodiak’s leading lady, Jennifer, carried her through those months and years when she was married, but single. As a friend Stefani was very intuitive and born with an ability to solve problems. Her best advice was, “Don’t go to Sutliff’s (Hardware Store) for milk.” This meant don’t expect something from someone who is unable to give it. Her biggest challenge was to change her free-wheeling husband Lu and to make life easier for him. Nevertheless, Lu provided excitement for her and she loved him dearly.

Stefani was an avid reader of history. She would surround herself with source material and maps on the subject. The library new her well. She was also a student of spirituality, religions, and the deeper meaning of life. She was “New Age” before it was trendy, delving deep into self help, wellness and alternative health. Her inquisitive mind was open to new ideas. She was very good at ferreting out the truth. She liked to say, “I should have been a private detective.” Her greatest gift was the wisdom and love she shared with family and friends. Many would come to her for guidance and they valued her no-nonsense perspective and direct feedback in personal situations and struggles. She was a great listener and confidant, the definition of a genuine friend. She helped people. In reflection, that was her life’s purpose.

Stefani is preceded in death by her baby sister, her mother and father, and her husband, Ludger. She is survived by her daughters, Sharnico Dochtermann and Katrina Tutar, son-in-law Ismail Tutar, stepsons, Shawn Dochtermann and Kim “KC” Dochtermann, seven grandchildren: Samantha, Kyle, Myles, and Sadie Dochtermann, Banu, and Nafi Tutar, Henri Dochtermann and sisters-in-law, Birgitt Vogt and Elizabeth Hasenfus both of Germany.

Stefani was kind, generous, empathetic, worldly, smart, wise and quirky. If you miss her, look for her in the many people she influenced. You’ll find her there. She will be fondly remembered for decades to come.

Interment will be next to her husband Lu at Evergreen Washelli Cemetery, Seattle, Washington.

Donations in memory may be made to Seattle Children’s Hospital and sent to the family c/o Katrina Tutar: 13910 2nd Ave NE, Seattle, WA 98125. Condolences may also be sent there.