Rita Rose Tomko

Rita gave one final gift to her family as she left this world, the gift of mindfulness, by learning to live with faith, peace and grace in the present moment. She found delight in waking up to check the weather, gathering the morning paper, working the daily crossword puzzle with a fresh cup of coffee in the homestead built for her by her beloved, late husband, Thomas N. Tomko, Sr. Her home was an outward sign of the love and dedication they shared during their 57 years of marriage. The property on Koke Mill Lane gave peace and quiet and a connection to nature for all who visited. Tom and Rita were married September 4, 1948, at St. Rita’s Church, Kincaid, Illinois. Rita walked down the aisle on the arm of her soon-to-be-husband, Thomas Norbert Tomko. She wore a new wedding tiara and veil and the wedding dress worn by her sister, Marilyn. In a sweet gesture of his love, Tom hand engraved in script writing ‘Rita Rose’ on her pots and pans. Rita always said you have to live for bread and roses.

Rita, a life-long birdwatcher, checking on the birds every day from the feeders outside her window. She was a champion of the birds and a scourge to any squirrel, often rapping on the window with her cane and yelling at the pesky creatures. Rita enjoyed the outdoors from the comfort of the inside of her house. She made the Koke Mill homestead, for her eight children, into giant garden, a cider mill, a blueberry orchard, a wine cellar, a bird sanctuary, a home to ponies, horses, goats and chickens, “camp grandma”, a moto-cross track, family celebrations, reunions and so many wonderful holidays. She laughed along with us as rabbits, goats, horses and chickens came inside the house with her playful children. Until the end, Rita was ready for a good glass of red wine and to laugh or to listen to a story with her children, grand-children and great-grandchildren.

She was born on September 20, 1928, at home, in Jeisyville, IL, the daughter of Joseph William “Bill” and Margaret Gallagher McQuade. Rita was the youngest child of a large Irish-Catholic family, she was 6 years younger than her sibling, Marilyn. Rita grew up in the small coal-mining town of Kincaid, in Christian County Illinois. The community was an extension of her family. Her brother-in-law, Joe Orlandi, (Eileen Marie McQuade) was the mayor and her brother-in-law, Rudolph “Snooks” (Lillian McQuade) Schmelzer, was the chief-of-police. Rita had the security and comfort of living in this community, even in difficult times, she knew everyone, and everyone knew her, so she always had a conversation going and never had to say a word.

Rita was proud of her Irish-Scots heritage. Her father was born in Scotland, and her mother was the daughter of Irish immigrants. Rita took a joy-filled tour of Ireland in 1999, and true to her introverted nature, she looked around the countryside and did not look up at her Gaelic descendants! She didn’t want to be a bother! Rita grew up in the coal mining area of Illinois and was always a staunch supporter of union workers.

She was preceded in death by her parents; husband, Thomas Tomko, Sr.; son, Thomas Tomko, Jr.; daughter, Mary Catherine Tomko Waterworth; grandson, Caleb Benjamin Stein; sisters, Anna Michaud, Lillian Schmelzer, Marlin Corso, Genevieve McQuade, Eileen Orlandi, and Catherine Minnis; and brother, William McQuade.

Rita was a homemaker and a member of St. Agnes Catholic Church. She loved family gatherings and enjoyed spending time with her grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Survivors: daughters, Zan (Roseann) Tomko of Minneapolis, MN, Bernadette Tomko (Alan Copia) of Minneapolis, MN, Jeanine Tomko of Grand Rapids, MI, Margaret Tomko of Littleton, CO; sons, Bill (William Stephen) (Olivia) Tomko of St. Louis, MO, and Patrick Michael (LeeAnn) Tomko of Bloomington, MN.

Eleven grandchildren: Greg (Linda) Leonard, Laura (Chris) Zitzer of Minneapolis, MN, Neve (Jason) Siegfried of Littleton, CO, Lucas (Alice) Stein of Ann Arbor, MI, Benjamin Stein of Seattle, WA, Olivia Copia of Minneapolis, MN, Brendan Tomko of Springfield, IL, Simon Tomko-Waterworth and Liam Tomko-Waterworth of Grand Rapids, MI, Yannis Tomko of Bloomington, MN, and Zamara Tomko (Ellis) of Minneapolis, MN.

She loved and enjoyed her eight great-grandchildren: Cameron, Caitlin, Rowan, Anna, Finn, Hazel, Kelton, and Mary.

She was surrounded by the love of many nieces and nephews.

Rita also took great delight in her St. Agnes Eucharistic minister, Brenda, who visited with her every week in faith and friendship.

Special thanks to Cordell, Jessica, Ben M., Hercule, Kay, and Tony for the hours they spent with her.

We are all eventually orphans, but we can remember the love that Rita gave us and carry it forward as in the words of E.E. Cummings:

“I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart) I am never without it (anywhere I go you go, my dear)”

Visitation and Mass of Christian Burial: Family will receive friends from 10:00 to 10:45 a.m. on Tuesday, February 25, 2025, at St. Agnes Catholic Church, 245 N. Amos Ave., Springfield, IL, followed by the Mass at 11:00 a.m. with Very Rev. Daniel J. Bergbower, celebrant. Burial will follow at Calvary Cemetery.

Condolences may be left.

In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to: St. Joseph’s Indian School (phone: 1-800-341-2235), P.O. Box 326, Chamberlain, SD, 57326, or St. Rita Catholic Church, P.O. Box 439, Kincaid, IL, 62540.

The family is being served by Butler Funeral Home – Springfield, 900 S. Sixth St., Springfield.