Jing Yang Britton

She is survived by her husband, Dale G. Britton; her sons, James H. Britton and Adam G. Britton; her daughter Emily J. Britton and son-in-law Denni R.L. Dinesen; her mother, Guihua Li; her father, Xueyao Yang; and her sister Ling Yang.

● Statement from husband Dale G. Britton

Memory takes a lot of poetic license. It omits some details; others are exaggerated, according to the emotional value of the articles it touches, for memory is seated predominantly in the heart.”

― Tennessee Williams, The Glass Menagerie

Though my wife Jing was a private person, she served as an inspiration to her family, friends and patients. Our family will forever hold her dearly in our hearts. This is her story.

Jing and I first met in 1986 in Yangzhou, China. Her hometown was famous for its reputation of “having the most beautiful girls in all of China.” And I was merely following the footsteps of Marco Polo, who had traveled there 700 years later. In addition, I grew up in Canton, a small town in Georgia, which was named after the famous Chinese silk capitol. So, I would like to think that the guiding hand of fate led us to meet and, to cite the Chinese phrase dao baitou, grow old together.

That year I was an exchange student at the local college in her hometown. Jing worked as a typist in the Foreign Languages Department where I studied. We met there. She was still living with her parents and had three chickens as pets. I remember the day I fell in love with her. She had left a note at her home while she had stepped out, telling me to eat the bananas she had placed on her window sill. No one had ever done something so sweet for me before. Soon afterwards, we fell madly in love. The saddest day of our young lives occurred at the Shanghai Airport when I had to leave her to return home. My student visa was expiring. In addition, in order to find a job as a college English teacher in China, I needed one more quarter to obtain my college degree.

For the next six months, we were separated by a large ocean. We bridged that distance by writing love letters to each other every day. When I returned to her hometown in the following spring, we married in March 1988. We had a small ceremony by Chinese standards. And Jing kept her wedding jacket to this day.

We stayed in China for another 2 years, returning to the USA immediately after the Tiananmen Square student massacre in summer 1989. My dad in Georgia graciously let us live with him for a year so we could save money for me to attend graduate school. Our first jobs were at a local mall where I worked in a college textbook store, and the next store down, Jing was a salesperson for a home decor fashion store. We had the same work schedules and drove to work together for a year.

In 1990, we moved to Charlottesville, Virginia. Jing always had extraordinary linguistic talent, and people there loved to listen to this young Chinese girl talk with a Georgian accent. While I obtained my Master's Degree, Jing began her medical career by obtaining her Certified Nursing Assistant license and working at a nursing home. For a few years, she worked at University of Virginia Health Sciences Center, during which she earned a Registered Nurse (RN) degree at Piedmont Virginia Community College in 1995.

While in Charlottesville, she had our first son, James, in 1993. Always very petite in stature, she actually gained 50 pounds during her pregnancy. Her parents also arrived from China that year. The four of us (new parents and grandparents) would spend a lifetime together raising our three children.

After leaving Charlottesville, our family spent brief stints in Fredericksburg and Ashland before we finally settled in Stafford in 1996, where we still live in the same house. Our next two bundles of joy, Adam and Emily, arrived in 1995 and 1999. During these years, Jing continued her RN work at both Medical College of Virginia and Mary Washington Hospital. In 2001, she obtained her Bachelor of Science in Nursing (BSN) degree at Virginia Commonwealth University. Over the next decade, she worked multiple part-time RN jobs, raised her kids and took care of her elderly parents. Despite these challenges, Jing earned her third and final degree in 2011: a Master of Science in Nursing from George Mason University in 2011. Soon afterwards, she obtained her Nurse Practitioner (NP) license. She would continue to work multiple part-time jobs at local medical clinics, treating patients whom all loved her until she could no longer do so in 2021.

Having never had the opportunity to attend college in China, Jing epitomized the American Dream. She served as an inspiration to our extended families on how hard work and dedication can be rewarded with professional success.

With respect to her personality, Jing was a true character! In the famous movie Good Will Hunting, Robin William played the part of a widowed psychologist who explained that each member of a couple, though imperfect, still has unique idiosyncrasies that are “the good stuff” of life and therefore make us lovable. Jng herself was always strong-minded and opinionated, especially for a girl growing up in such a patriarchal society as China. She was anything but “tranquility,” which is the meaning of her Chinese character that comprises her name Jing. She could be infamously bossy and stubborn at times. For example, she dearly loved her sister, Ling. But she would still try to boss Ling around even as both grew into adulthood. Jing stated that, as the older sister, she always had that right.

Jing also had an uncanny street savvy. She was a tough negotiator and always managed to get a good deal on anything she wanted or needed. In 2002, she found and helped to buy a house in Fredericksburg for her parents. Later, she scouted out and purchased rental properties via auctions, foreclosure and even off Craig's List. She relished and excelled at bargain hunting.

She also was a bundle of energy for such a petite woman, which was probably why she rarely gained any weight. We tried in vain to persuade her to take a lunch break while working up to full shifts at her Urgent Care positions, but she was more concerned about her patients' wait times. One year as a birthday present, I gave her a year’s membership for zumba dance sessions, in which she and daughter Emily attended religiously. Though not fond of outdoor camping or large crowds, she came to love visiting Walt Disney World often with our children and visiting national parks across the country. On vacations, Jing would usually develop an insatiable craving for local food items such as cocos frios (chilled coconut milk) in Puerto Rico, Cuban sandwiches in the Florida Keys, and lobster rolls in Maine. Our most unique family vacation was a 6-week return trip to China where we camped out on the Inner Mongolian grasslands and toured Tibet.

She also had her favorite activities on the home front as well. She loved Saturday morning yard sales. She liked to watch Dr. Pimple Popper, Untold Stories of the ER, HGTV real estate shows, Dr. Phil and most recently the Chinese language drama Yanxi Palace. Jing also loved exploring different cuisines. Her favorites included Chuck E Cheese pizza, Peruvian rotisserie chicken, Vietnamese ham sandwiches, Filipino eggrolls, Korean sweet bread, Afghan kabobs, Panera Bread autumn squash soup and even Taco Bell Mexican pizza. Lastly, she had always wanted to own a Mini Cooper, so I bought her one in 2021 even after she could no longer drive.

Jing was a perfect picture of health until her first symptoms appeared in October 2020, when her wonderful boss Julie called me noting that something was wrong with Jing - she was dizzy at work. For the next 6 months, I would drive her to and from her part-time jobs until April 2021 when she could no longer work an 8-hour shift. She continued to work for Julie for 1 hour a week until September 2022, limited only to reviewing medical charts. In 2021, she first visited the VCU Movement Disorder Clinic in Richmond and was initially diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease that summer. Unfortunately, she did not respond to the traditional Parkinson medicines. Then in March 2022, an updated brain MRI confirmed the worst: a diagnosis of multiple system atrophy (MSA), a rare but rapidly progressive disease similar to ALS. The doctor informed us of the heart-breaking news that the disease has no cause nor cure. Comfort care was the only option. After a few more months, I finally convinced Jing to see a primary care doctor here in Stafford - which she had stubbornly refused even though she was a NP herself as she always put her family and patients ahead of herself..

Over the past three years, I served as her 24/7 caregiver and medical advocate, having to retire in 2021. . Our time together at home was such a blessing as our daily care routines, both giving and receiving, rekindled our love. During this sad period, we never argued nor uttered an unkind word to one another even though each coming month witnessed a new normal as her health gradually declined with multiple hospitalizations. Our main floor, where she had her hospital bed in the family room, resembled a warehouse of various durable medical equipment (stairlift, portable toilets, portable food table, alternating air mattress, Hoyer lift, kangaroo pump for stomach tube feedings, and a speech device using eye gaze technology). As Jing succumbed to the disease and became completely dependent on me for care, she never once complained about her illness nor blamed anyone. She remained concerned with her children finishing college and medical school and with making sure we took good care of her bed-ridden father with dementia and her elderly mother. I did not come to fully appreciate all she had done for her kids, me and her parents over the past 30 years (all while pursuing a meaningful career) until I had to gradually assume all of her family responsibilities.

This May, Jing turned 60. The family held a special birthday event in which we gathered up and shared memories over a lifetime of family photographs. In retrospect, it must have been bittersweet for her, comparing her glory days with her current illness. She was my wife for 36 years - sharing our joys and sorrows together; through health and sickness until death parted her first. I feel solace in knowing that Jing passed away peacefully at home and that her suffering has now ended. And I hope that she appreciated me doing my best to care for her during her final years of sickness.

So, I wanted to share this intimate story: to celebrate her life and honor her memory. Hopefully, she passed also knowing how much of an inspiration she was to her family and friends and that she was deeply loved. Rest in peace, Jing, my beautiful wife!