Margaret M. Nolan

Margaret Flood Nolan, beloved educator, lover of music, books, cats and poetry, cracker of excellent jokes, passionate catalyst of connection in a large family, cherished sister, aunt and friend, has left this world to join many loved ones who have gone before her.

Margaret’s ability to see, appreciate, and nurture other people’s strengths served her throughout her 83 short years. Margaret was the 12th of 13 children born to Patrick Francis Flood and Mary Hester Cullen Flood of the Bronx, New York. Born on May 21, 1939, Margaret had an educator father, an expert mother, and 11 big siblings, some of whom had already grown up and left the household. She had a very close relationship forged in childhood with her next oldest sister Jane, the two serving as major supports to each other through every stage of life. Prior to Margaret’s death on August 19, 2022, in Stamford, Connecticut, the two had grieved for their parents and all of their siblings and other major losses together over the years, the first being the death of youngest sibling Vincent DePaul Flood in a plane crash just before Christmas in 1960. They were no strangers to grief, and as we grieve for Margaret, it brings us comfort to imagine the many joyful reunions that must be taking place in her new life.

It is ironic to reflect on Margaret’s education, which featured abusive discipline at St. Barnabas Elementary School because she was left-handed and intimidatingly intelligent. She herself became a career educator who uplifted all her students and fostered a mutually supportive classroom filled with humor, fun, and a love of learning.

Her childhood was characterized by family activity and thinly-spread resources. Through his friendships, her father was able to arrange memorable summer visits for the family to Damariscotta, Maine for swimming and summer fun. She recalled her father drawing on charitable resources and last-minute tree shopping to make Christmas celebrations special. Her father would recite poetry in his beautiful Irish accent and sonorous voice, fomenting Margaret’s lifelong appreciation of this art. Her love of music, particularly opera, Mozart, and Irish traditional music came from her mother, who was the first in the family to buy season tickets to the Metropolitan Opera in her widowhood.

Margaret’s teen years featured four very rewarding years at Aquinas High School in the Bronx, which she said were among the happiest of her life, particularly in her study of literature. She graduated in 1956 under pressure from her father to enter the convent after graduation, as three of her elder sisters had done. In her later years Margaret noted that her parents actually received an award from the Catholic church for having six of their thirteen children join the Holy Orders.

In 1956 Margaret, along with 64 other girls including her lifelong best friend, Lynn O’Brien, entered the order of the Dominican Sisters of Our Lady of the Rosary in Sparkill, Rockland County, New York. After two years as a postulant and a canonical novice, she made her first vows and remained at Sparkill, where she was taught by one of her favorite high school teachers. She completed her Bachelor of Science degree in Education there. Among her assignments were to serve as Group Mother for 10-year olds at St. Agnes Home for Boys, and, after finishing her degree, teaching 65 first graders at St. Teresa’s Parish, Woodside, in Queens through 1960. In 1961, she was assigned to St. Pius X School in Scarsdale, New York, where she taught sixth and eighth grades. There she began part-time college studies at Fordham University, specializing in French literature. In 1967 she was assigned to teach French at St. Helena’s High School (now Monsignor Scanlon High School) in the Bronx.

Margaret left religious life in 1969 and left the Catholic church behind. In March 1969 she married Danny Nolan, who had similarly left the Marist Brothers. They were divorced soon afterward, but she kept her married name throughout her teaching career and all her students knew her as Mrs. Nolan.

As an educator at H.C. Crittenden Middle School in Armonk, New York over the course of 29 years, through her retirement in 1998, Margaret decided she liked teaching sixth grade the best. She said it was an age when the students still loved their teacher but could engage in lots of interesting learning. She made sure all her students knew about her pet cats and her love of cats in general. Her students gifted her so many cat-themed items as tokens of affection and appreciation that for a time she had a display on a whole bookcase in her home that she dubbed the “Catatorium”. In her classroom, she would tell her students: “Don’t say ‘shut up’, say ‘shut down’” as a way to interrupt negativity and maintain a mutually supportive environment. Margaret had a gift for helping students navigate any learning struggles and she shared this gift generously.

At family gatherings, happy and sad, Margaret and Jane together made things special for all children in attendance. They would always have a sack of small stuffed animals or other gifts and engage with their young relatives and talk with them. Margaret would really latch onto each child’s talents and interests, and as they became adults she would encourage them in their pursuits. She loved to introduce her family to the opera and the ballet. She and Jane would bring their mother, their siblings and later their younger family members to events at Lincoln Center such as George Balanchine’s Nutcracker, delighting in their awe seeing the tree grow from 12 feet to 41 feet onstage, to New York City Ballet’s annual gala, and to the Metropolitan Opera.

As operagoers, Margaret and Jane were known as “the Glitter Girls”, dressed up with joyful costume jewelry, stylish festive attire and an array of evening handbags and opera glasses. They devoted a significant part of their educator budgets to season tickets and special experiences like dining in the Grand Tier before performances. Margaret and Jane had a talent for connecting with others passionate about the opera, becoming good friends with magazine critics, the head of the Opera Guild, and the doormen at the Met, and visiting with the opera stars after the performances at the stage door. They never took anything too seriously. Aunt Margaret would quip that the plot of every opera could be summed up as “She dies”, that the worst complement one could offer a singer after an opera would be “I really liked your outfit,” and that if one wanted to be polite after a dismal performance one could muster, in an enthusiastic tone, that “Good. Is NOT the word!” They made such an impression that the performers began to recognize them, and they became friendly with Frederica Von Stade, “Flicka”, in particular.

Margaret lived in Bronxville, New York, first near her sister Jane, then later shared apartments with Jane in Bronxville and most recently in Stamford, Connecticut. Margaret owned a modest beach house in Mastic Beach, New York on Long Island for decades, and spent weeks there each summer, enjoying coffee then heading out to the beach to swim and soak up the negative ions from the ocean air. She enjoyed hosting family members and their friends there. She was deeply moved by the TWA 800 tragedy and attended memorials at Smith Point Beach.

Travel was central to Margaret’s life. She visited Ireland over 30 times in her life. Of course, Margaret’s granduncle was Hugh Colohan TD, Member of the Irish Parliament in the fledgling independent Irish Republic being first elected for the Kildare Constituency in 1922, and re-elected again in 1923 and in 1927, Mary Colohan (Margaret’s grandmother) being a sister of Hugh Colohan. Mary Colohan in a spirit of determination and adventure, had left Ireland in the 1800s for the new world of the United States and New York. There she met Thomas Cullen, and their daughter was Mary Hester, Margaret’s mother. Margaret was passionate in her research of family history and in Ireland she and her mother, and then the whole Flood family, connected with the first, second and third cousins of the Colohan family being Hugh Colohan’s direct descendants and together they made visits to the ancestral home in Newbridge, County Kildare.

These connections explored and pursued by Margaret forged relationships and friendships that endure to this day. Margaret also explored her father Patrick Flood’s Irish connections and family, which included the late sportsman and television anchor Brendan O’Reilly, Brendan Flood and many others, and brought Margaret on many excursions to Granard, County Longford. Margaret brought various younger family members to Ireland on several occasions to introduce them to family members and to the ancestral country she loved.

The Colohan connection explored by Margaret also extended to France, where Margaret visited the former homes and resting place of her grand-aunts Bridie Colohan Harrison and Babs Colohan Gauthier, being Hugh Colohan and Mary Colohan’s sisters, and who had left Newbridge for the bright lights and glamour of Paris. Margaret spoke French and traveled to France and to Italy many times. In Normandy, she conversed in French with some local shopkeepers, telling them about her brother Bob who was shot down in World War II and became a prisoner of war for over a year. The shopkeepers told her how grateful their community was to the U.S. soldiers who liberated France from Nazi control. Margaret was at her happiest when in Paris. In her heart it was a second home.

At home, Margaret reveled in good books, listening to music, passionately following news and political developments, always concerned for the plight of the poor and oppressed. She cooked a delightful Boeuf Bourguignon and she loved to enjoy softened butter and fresh bread on colorful French enamelware. She abstained from alcohol, having seen the ravages alcoholism wrought on several loved ones. She was a master of the art of conversation and relished the companionship of her sister Jane and her many special family relationships.

Margaret was a gatherer of people, and now we, the gathered, mourn this beloved woman’s passing. We will never, not ever, forget you Margaret. We will be ever in each other’s hearts.

There will be a Viewing on Friday, August 26th at Leo P. Gallagher & Son Funeral Home at 2900 Summer St. in Stamford, Connecticut from 4 PM to 8 PM. Interment will be at the Gate of Heaven at 10 West Stevens Avenue, Hawthorne, NY, meet at main office at 11:15 AM. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made in her memory to Casa de las Comunidades Catholic Worker Community in Albuquerque, NM.

Fond memories and expressions of sympathy may be shared at www.leopgallagherstamford.com for the Nolan family.