Name: Victory Memorial Park & Funeral Centre
Address: Surrey, BC

We are so sorry to hear about your wife and mother, Carole.  The pictures were good to see.  Although we hadn't seen each other for many years we still thought of you.  Our sincere sympathies.

My sympathy goes out to Carole family and close friends. I really only knew Carole when we were student nurses together. She was a very caring person who was very sensitive to the needs of those around her, many times even before they themselves recognized their own needs. As a review this loving collection of photos it was beautiful to see what a lovely family that she had while she was here. 
Deanna (Goodfallow) Mulvihill Class of 64 now Leesburg VA

Our deepest sympathies are sent to you Keith, and your family.  Please know your Ontario friends are sharing your loss of a very lovely lady.  
Chuck and Donna Fochuk

I realized immediately, as I set about this task, that a son sees his mother in a different context than those of you who are lifelong friends or professional colleagues. It is even difficult to speak on behalf of my brother, but I will try to represent the shared feelings of love, devotion and admiration we both felt towards our mother.
Now I could stand up here and tell you the details of our mother's life – her employers, her degrees, her age when she married and the exact day she died – but I think I'll choose another path. Rather than shine a bright light on the known, I shall instead illuminate the lesser known. For our mother was many things to many people. She was strong. She was resilient. She was honest and exemplified integrity. She was fiercely intelligent, independent, pragmatic, generous, warm and wise. She was funny. And she was fun. She liked to laugh, and we loved to make her laugh, preferably until she cried, a crime for which my brother was so often guilty. We'd give anything to see those tears of joy one more time.
My brother and I grew up with a strong female role model, assuming at a very young age that all women were tough, independent creatures deserving our full respect. In many ways Mom was a frontier type of female, a throwback kind of woman. Nurse and administrator by trade, family matriarch by equal parts bequest and appropriation, our mother was to us a carpenter, an electrician, a mason, a medic and dentist in practice, to name but a few of the many mantles she wore in and around our home. She was a complex character then, but with a quiet, unassuming soul, and the fact she led such a multifaceted, industrious and dignified life does not diminish, but only magnifies the enormity of the space left empty in our lives.
One stark memory I have of our mother concerns, oddly enough, my baby teeth, and the typical Carole Needham way in which she dealt with them. There I was – whatever age a boy is when his teeth begin to loosen in his head through no fault of his own – having informed my mother of my predicament, only to watch her leave the room to fetch an inexplicably large set of pliers to perform the necessary surgery before settling in to wince through a rather bloody operation at the end of my slim little single mattress. Well, it didn't take long for a small boy with steadily loosening chompers to realize that perhaps this ailment was best dealt with on one's own, which was possibly his mother's plan all along. Our mother appreciated independence and self-reliance, and exemplifying those traits herself, manifested them successfully in her sons. 
So there she stood, our mother, intimidating tool in hand, in its viselike grip my troublemaking little tooth. “There you go, son, place this tooth under your pillow tonight and the tooth fairy will come and give you money.” Well, I can tell you firsthand, you've just never had dental work done until you've had it done with a large pair of black-handled, blunt-nose pliers, so needless to say I was a little gun-shy. Seeing what good things that tiny tooth had already bestowed upon me – a deep sinkhole in my mandible and a mouthful of blood – one could understand how suspect this idea, however intriguing, might seem, a suspicion that was eventually borne out by the rather paltry sum found under my pillow the next morning. Seventy-eight cents. That's quite a wage, by anyone's standard, at any age. But then holding that meager collection of money in my hand, a strange thing happened. This woman's face on the coins – this beautiful and regal face – well surely that was my mother right there, cast in copper and silver. And that was when I decided my mother was in fact the Queen of England, which to my young and elastic brain made perfect sense. She ruled the house, so clearly she ruled everything else. And for a while, perhaps a long while, these two women were in fact quite synonymous in my mind. No wonder referring to Mom as “she” had been strictly forbidden by our father. “She? Who's she? This is your mother.” It was true then: she was royalty, at least in our house. 
But then royalty, as we've seen of late, is not without its human side. Flip that coin and you might happen upon a young child crying on the floor with a dislocated hip, having been pushed over some toy by his older brother. Queue the mother, ever pragmatic, settling onto the carpet, placing her foot in her baby's crotch, and with a good strong heave, pulling the leg back into its socket. “There you go, Chris. That's enough crying. Go and play. And don't let your brother push you over next time.”
Yes, our mother appreciated a measure of grit. Always an avid sports fan, not just of the various minor sports played by the male members of her immediate family, but of all the major ones too, we'd often find her sitting quietly in the kitchen watching some mid-season Canucks game, expressing her frustration at this her hometown team's seeming chronic inability to stop the weakest of shots from the oddest of angles. No wonder she'd disappear halfway through a game to spend time in her backyard. Our mother liked to garden. She used to spend hours out there, toiling away in one corner of her yard or another, holding nature at bay here, helping it blossom there. To be honest, prior to these last two weeks, I've never really understood the attraction of scrambling around in the soil. Prior to these last two weeks, it seemed a time-passer at best, a time-waster at worst, but with the passing of our mother, and the subsequent move into their house to commiserate with our father, I have come to appreciate its hitherto elusive charms. Down there in the dirt there is a connection to be found, unearthed as it were, with the world at large. It is quiet, it is subtle – like our mother – and it is there when you need it, patiently waiting for you to return. So now, while I am no expert by any means, I can appreciate what she found out there in her garden. And when I stand out there in the soil and quiet my mind, reaching out with my feelings, I can see her again, moving somewhere along the arc of my understanding and imagination.
Our mother loved us. Raising two boys, she relished our relationship and its various moving parts, no mother more proud to see her two boys strangling each other into a heated submission on the living room carpet. When, in their youth, and sometimes when they were older, occasionally much older, her boys would get in the odd dustup courtesy of an outside source, she savored the ensuing tales of some deserving lout getting his face caved in, smiling like the Mona Lisa herself as the tale unfolded. Mom appreciated a good story, often regaling us with them herself. Her famous point break narratives – as anyone present who's had the opportunity to hear one knows – tended to break both forwards and backwards, the gradually dividing narrative moving as much through backstory as anything else. But while she may have liked to talk, she loved to listen. And she loved to document our lives with her camera, forever popping out from around corners to steal a picture of one or both of her unsuspecting sons. On occasion we might have felt it a little irritating then, but we are so very thankful for it now, as we are for most everything she did. When we fell, she picked us up. When we got pushed down, she pushed back for us. She celebrated our victories, championed our causes, and lamented our losses, propping us up when we needed it, putting us in our place when we required it, though never allowing us to stay down too long. In this way she shaped us, guided us, and created us in her own image, an ideal to which my brother and I shall aspire for the remainder of our own lives. In short, Mom was everything a good mother should be, and we will miss her dearly because of it.
Our mother was pragmatic. Seeing me return home intoxicated and violently ill as a teen-ager – I'm sure it only ever happened one time, though I can't be absolutely certain – she'd set me up outside the front door in a folding lawn chair so I could vomit more effectively into her prized rhododendrons, before ensuring I ate a little yoghurt to settle my stomach. But then somewhat paradoxically, years later, she came suddenly to tears when she found out I was engaging in sexual relations with women – I believe I was twenty-three at the time – lamenting my lost innocence. 
Our mother was compassionate. One day my brother and I came across the neighbour's dog torturing a baby rabbit. We went running to our mother who immediately stepped in to save the unfortunate animal, wipe him off, patch him up, and eventually lay him to rest in the ravine cemetery after a short impromptu ceremony when his injuries proved too serious to overcome. Mind you, this was also the woman who brought a broom down like a guillotine on an industrious if unsuspecting mouse sniffing his way across the counter at a rented house in Mexico, so I suppose, in retrospect, a balanced approach to nature and its various inhabitants was more Mom's M.O. 
Our mother was patient. When Rod and I were young, still in the process of shaping our opinions into convictions, Mom would listen patiently to what we had to say, digesting it thoroughly before calmly explaining the vast and myriad ways in which we were profoundly and fundamentally wrong. Later on, when we were older, and she was older, she grew quieter, and would simply smile that Mona Lisa smile as we ran off at the mouth with those countless erroneous convictions run awry. Was she ignoring us? No, not at all. She was simply letting our negative energy run its course. 
Our mother was industrious. Case in point, the construction of our back deck. Devising a schematic of the sundeck she wanted built, she watched her two simian-like sons scamper about in the trees trying to bring her cocktail napkin concepts to timbered fruition. For years afterwards, Rod and I thought we built that deck entirely ourselves, but then a recent tour through old family photos reveals Mom bent over at the waist, hammer swinging far overhead, the two aforementioned sons nowhere to be found – perhaps off-camera and consoling one another over a lack of scheduled beer breaks. 
Our mother was wise. When – and it seems to me like every other year, and perhaps it is – my brother found himself in heated negotiations with the provincial government over teacher contracts, Mom doled out mountains of sage advice as though he were not just his school's union representative, but the point man for the entire BCTF. Our mother knew contracts, and our mother knew contract negotiations, and her experience and expertise in these arenas encouraged many callers over the years, as many of her colleagues here today can attest.
Our mother was strong. Not only in those intangible ways most mothers are, but in more palpable ways as well. For example, at one time, I am both proud and ashamed to say, my mother was the reigning silver medalist in the Needham Family Arm Wrestling Championships, her youngest son having failed to win, place, or even show, finishing out of the medals yet again. Eventually, though, and far too late in her sons' opinion, she grudgingly fell to the bronze position, then finally to forth, her sons having finally surpassed her en route to eventually supplanting their father. Quite a victory that was.
Yes, our mother – this man's wife – was quite a woman, and she will be missed – by her sons, by her husband, by her granddaughters and her daughters-in-law and her mother and her sister. By her friends and her colleagues. She will be missed by all of you out there, because she carried so much of each of you in here. So for all of us who wish our mother was still here…
Be the wisdom
Be the strength
Be the compassion
Be the patience
Be the laughter
Be the love
Be the Carole Needham you still wish to see in the world.
Thank you.

My sympathy goes out to all of Carole's family at this most difficult time.  I had the pleasure of working with Carole for many years and I have always greatly admired and respected her.  She had a wonderful sense of humor, a quick laugh, and an open nature.  She was always willing to share her knowledgeable and experience with anyone that was interested.  She mentored me through learning how to read through collective agreements at the start of my healthcare career and will think of her every time I read one.

Carole was one of the most spectacular people I have had the pleasure of working with.  She was so warm, caring and sharing.  I will treasure the friendship and knowledge she shared.  I will miss her so much, my sincere sympathy,

My deepest sympathies to Carole's family and friends. I came to know Carole just a few years ago when she stepped in to provide coverage during my leave, and then when we worked together more closely last year. I learned a great deal from Carole, but what I admired most was her pride and joy in her family - it was so evident in all the stories she shared about family vacations, raising sons, and the gift of grandchildren.
May you rest in peace, Carole.

Keith,
With deepest sympathy, I am thinking of you and your family at this difficult time.

My deepest sympathies to Carole's family at this time of sudden loss.  I had the distinct privilege to work with and learn from Carole in the many years years she supported the Fraser Health HR group subsequent to her retirement.  She stepped in without hesitation and willingly shared her knowledge with us all.  Carole remembered everything and was a valued historian reminding us all how important it was to look back in order to make sense of the present.  Most recently Carole was a mentor to some of the newest HR professionals.  Teacher, mentor, advocate, supporter and, most importantly, team member - Carole was all those.  Her presence will be missed by us all but her legacy in the healthcare labour relations world will live on.  Through it all, Carole kept centered by her family.  Her pride in you all was evident by the light in her eyes whenever she spoke of you.

Our condolences on the loss of a wonderful wife, mother, daughter and grandmother. We were saddened to hear of Carole's passing and our thoughts and prayers go out to Keith, Rod, Chris and family.

We spent special times watching our grand daughters, Ellie & Samy play hockey & ringette. Our Sincere Sympathy to Keith, Rod, Leanne, Ellie, Stephanie & Chris. We're thinking of you at this sad time and wishing you all that it takes to get through these difficult days.

I'm so sorry for your lost.  I worked with Carole for a number of years in Human Resources.  She was a great mentor and will be missed.

We were all shocked and saddened with the news of Carols passing.  We knew her as a loving mother with a beautiful smile, an inviting host and avid fan of her grand daughters.  Our thoughts and prayers are with you all.  Love Tim, Gayle, Kirsten and Nicholas Krajnc

I was privileged to work with Carole through the 90's, sitting across the table from her during some very interesting meetings.  I must say I learned a lot from working with Carole; she had compassion and empathy for others, a gift all good Human Resources practitioners must have.  It is indeed sad to hear of her passing, she was one of the good ones.

I am very sad to learn that Carole passed away suddenly. I spent many years working with Carole and she was always so incredibly dedicated and hardworking. In the midst of some of the most tense labour disputes she never lost her cool. She could always see both sides of every issue and always treated everyone with the utmost of respect. She will be missed by many. My sincere sympathy to her family and close friends, 
Sharon L. Frizell  (Cloverdale BC)

I am sorry to hear such sad news, I have many fond memories of the Needham home with Rod Chris and Leanne.  Rod and Chris your parents were amazing role models for us in our youth.  Your mom was always so kind and inviting.  I enjoyed seeing them the last few years cheering on your girls at the ice rink, and it was wonderful to see how they both continue to support their children and grandchildren.  Hugs to all of you.

Carole and I were cousins, two of the many born into our family in that wartime year.   Our last conversation was the call I made to thank her for sending me pictures of the family birthday party she and Sharon gave in Bobcaygeon for their mother, my Aunt Sheila.  I am so thankful that I didn't procrastinate about making that call; even a week later would have been too late.  Carole, my pretty and clever and kind cousin.   How unfair life is and how I miss knowing that she is just a few miles or a phone call away.  My condolences to Keith, Rod, Chris, and all.
--Percilla

I was very saddened to hear of the sudden loss of Carole. Having spent years working with Carole from the 80's until recent years, I have many memories of her strength, committment, professionalism and of course her wonderful sense of humor. 

Carole was a remarkable person and role model to so many throughout her career. My deepest sympathy to all her family.     

Eileen Coles. Surrey, BC

I was really sad to hear of Carole's sudden passing and wish to pass on my sincere condolences to all of her family and friends.  Carole was part of the team who hired me at South Fraser and also convinced me to stay on when I wasn't sure I wanted to.  I ended up staying for 13 years.  She was always unfailingly positive and willing to share her considerable expertise and I always appreciated her help.   I will miss seeing and chatting with her at FH functions.

Carole Ann lived life embracing each day and each new adventure with enthusiasm. I have been blessed to have been a part of her life and miss her immensely. A trusted friend and incredible role model who always had time to listen...along with Keith...their door was always open for me. My Dawson Place family... My deepest and sincerest sympathy to the entire Needham family. Love Michele Way

Carole was the reason I decided to join South Fraser Heath Region (as it was then) in early 2001 having known and admired her leadership and benefitted from her vast knowledge of labour relations issues for so many years as a bargaining committee member at HLRA / HEABC.  Shortly thereafter, Carole decided to 
"retire" so that she could travel with Keith and enjoy more time with her new grand children and her "boys".  It was then that I truly realized that the only route to success in my new role would be to attempt to emulate Carole's analytical powers, her sense of fairness and her humanity.
Over the past 25 years that I have had the privilege to know and work with Carole, I have constantly been in awe of her immense knowledge, her deep insights into the human psyche, her candour and, above all else, her integrity and friendship.  Of course, Carole never really did "retire" from Fraser Health ... much to the benefit of her many friends and colleagues within FHA as well as the entire BC healthcare system.
I will cherish, for a very long time, the times Carole and I chatted about her growing up in Bobcaygeon (where I experienced my very first Canadian summer cottage experience in 1973), her insights into parenting teenagers effectively (especially when they were making decisions about their personal relationships), and her ability to care for her Mother despite being 3,000 kilometres away.
With Carole's passing, there is definitely one less star in the firmament, but as all sailors know, the crucial key to navigating successfully is to find true north.  Carole was, and will continue to be, my true north star.
Thank you Keith, Sheila and all of her family for sharing Carole with us so generously.   Words cannot adequately express my gratitude and appreciation for her several decades of leadership in this province's healthcare system. She will be missed immensely.  R.I.P.

I am very sad to hear about Carole's sudden passing. I always enjoyed her excellent good humour, common sense and integrity when working on files with her over the years.  I will unfortunately not be able to attend Carole's memorial next week but my thoughts and prayers will be with all her family and friends.

I was shocked and saddened to learn that such a wonderful, vibrant woman has been taken so early.  Carole was a delight to know and so easy to work with.  The world has lost a very special person.
My sympathies to her family, she loved you dearly.
Gita Bruce

Constant, energetic, warm, reliable, wise, faithful, humorous....so many more characteristics I could name that Carole gave us all. I loved working with her and am so sad that she didn't have the long life she and her family deserved. My sincere condolences to her family.

Carole was an incredible person I have been privileged to know for the past 32 years -- first as a BCNU steward & Secretary Treasurer who taught me so much; then establishing SMH's first   first IV team where she created standards still applied today; and finally onto a variety of roles in administration and human resources with South Fraser and Fraser Health -- always with 'pit stops' during a bargaining process to do staffing and advise on strategy. 
 
I know there are many who would agree that Carole was indeed one of the 'best' nurses ever and can be credited with much of the nursing advancement in Surrey Memorial and provincially.  
 
Carole loved nursing and people -- she was the most professional trusted colleague one could wish for, and was respected by all.  

Her family was everything to her.  To Keith and the 'boys' I send my deepest sympathy.  The world has lost a precious leader, wife, and mother -- one who has left us many gifts to learn from and to carry forward.

We are very sorry to hear about the sudden death of Carole. But her memories will always be with us. She was very special, and she will always have a special place in our hearts. We feel very honored to have known and worked with Carole over the years. She was known for her wisdom and great advise along with that wonderful laugh and smile that always made you feel special when around Carole.

I found it extremely hard to believe that Carole Ann passed away so suddenly. We raised and enjoyed our families side by side for 46 years. She helped so much in my 20s when I was a new mom and we continued to share many parts of our lives - the celebrations, dinners, music, laughter and the deep sorrows. I was luck enough to have her for a regular walking and talking buddy 2007 - 2010. My heart goes out to her mother, sister,  Keith, Chris, Rod and their families during this period of sadness. They are part of my family. I will miss her greatly. Lots of love Patti McGregor

Keith, please accept our sincere sympathy on the sudden loss of Carole. Chris has become a part of our lives as Tania has become part of yours.We cannot say or do anything to change what has happened.But we can pledge to make the bond between our two families even stronger. Keith, we look forward to you spending time with us at our Summer home on the Sunshine Coast or at our Winter home in Rancho Mirage California.
Tania's parents..JJ & Tasia Richards

I had the privilege of working with Carole for many years at SMH. She always had that beautiful smile and a twinkle in her eyes! She was wonderfully supportive to others in a quiet and efficient manner. If you needed her to stand with you in an issue, she was there. She knew what needed to be done and got on with it! My very sincere condolences to all her family. She was a treasure and you know it best of all!    Irene Harder

Carole Ann was ever the champion and supporter of her family - attending every game on the sports field to cheer on the team, first for her sons and then for her grand daughters. She led from the centre and provided intelligent loving guidance and care both for family and colleagues.  She had the twinkliest of eyes and was a wizard as percussionist on the spoons.  My heart goes out to you Keith, Rod, Chris, and your whole family.  She will be greatly missed.

Our deepest heartfelt condolences to Keith and all the family. We have been the best of neighbors for the past 30 years, enjoying the pleasure of both their companies through-out this time. Carole was the sweetest of people and even from our house you could tell when the Needhams were having a good time by her laugh and of course Keiths. We knew everything was okay. She will be greatly missed. ... ......Colleen and Dave Wardell. ,

On behalf of the members of the Briitish Columbia Nurses Union I wish to extend our heartfelt condolences  to Carole's family and friends. She served our union for many years as an activist and Provincial Treasurer with integrity and great care prior to returning to her various roles at Fraser Health.  A leader among nurses, she will be greatly missed.

I am so saddened to hear of Carol's passing. My condolences to all of her family. Carol and I served on the BCNU Council together back in the early 80s. Later when she became an HR Rep, and I an LRO, our paths crossed many times. She had a knack for solving issues respectfully, leaving both parties satisfied. We had many laughs and she spoke frequently of her joy of her family. She was a very special person. 
With heartfelt sympathy
S.Parkin

Carole was a precious gift to our world, both personally and professionally . I knew her for 40 years, first as neighbors (across the ravine)  then as  fellow nurses at SMH and then in our union and Administrative roles in  South Fraser and in Fraser Health. Carole was incredibly funny, was kind, compassionate, industrious,  full of integrity and a mentor to many. She left a lasting impression on anyone who met her. Carole was instrumental in shaping the role of Nursing in BC through her lifelong and steadfast support of the Profession of Nursing and her unwavering support of nurses. She was dearly loved no  matter what role she was working in - nurse, union or Human Resources. My condolences to her family - you were the light and love of her life . My thoughts are with you all at this sad time.

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I will miss her smile and kindness.  I knew Carole for more than 25 years.
Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you all during this time of sorrow.    Peggy

We are both so sorry for your loss. May you find strength and love in your family and friends in your time of need. Much love from our family to yours.

I am sorry for your loss. Carole was always smiling and happy I  loved to see her in the hallways as she went about her projects at various FH hospitals. Sincerely 
Marg McLaughlin RN Workplace Health

Rod, Leanne, Ellie, Stephanie, Chris and Keith; I am so sorry for your loss. It is never easy losing loved ones especially someone as kind and giving as Carole.

Darren

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
 ~Kahlil Gibran

My whole family is shocked to learn of Carole Ann's passing and we are very sad.  Carole Ann was firstly a good friend of our family for many years.  She was also a sister to us, sharing her stories and there was always her laughter which I will never forget.  She always supported our many gatherings enjoying food and music.  She never judged anyone for their downfalls and never wavered with her love and friendship.  I will miss her very much. My sympathy to her family and neighbours who where lucky to have her in their lives.  Goodbye Carole Ann my sweet lady.   Faye Romanchuk

OBITUARIO

Carole Ann Purdy Needham

23 junio, 1943 – 22 julio, 2013

Victory Memorial Park & Funeral Centre

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