Ljiljana Matic

To sit and talk with you about my mother I could talk for days and days…but here are just a few of my thoughts…

Just wanted to begin with a few borrowed words…

If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I’d walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

No farewell words were spoken no time to say good bye you were gone before I knew it, and only God knows why.

My heart still aches in sadness and secret tears still flow, what it meant to lose you, no one will ever know.

There are not enough words that I can think of to describe my mother…for better or worse she was and still is the voice in my head…my sounding board…my anchor…my safe place…we were two peas in a pod…she was my mother, my mom, my ma, my mamma and my Georgie…we were best friends…she was my best friend.

The best memories I have of my mother are the times that we shared together…like the first time we went to Vegas…she was like a little kid and thought she had walked the whole strip until I showed her she had only walked a small part of it… but looking at Vegas through her eyes was the best experience for me for it was like seeing it again for the first time…when we went to New York for my 40th birthday we walked out of the hotel and she saw the New Years Eve ball in Times Square with tears in her eyes…our trip to Europe in 2009 sitting on a beach called Banjola and eating a salami and cheese sandwich she and I put together with our fingers…thank you mama I will never ever forget sharing that sandwich with you…my mother loved live theatre and the wine you could have at intermission…it got better when we could take the wine into the theatre …we spent a lot of time at the Stanley and Grandville…she was especially excited to go to the Granville for the fish and chips at the Granville Island Stage…she loved food and anything that had to do with Gordon Ramsey especially the Paris steakhouse…We almost met him…but that day we went to the Grand Canyon…that was an epic trek…I didn’t think she’d make it but she did…she loved me, our dogs Arthur and Benny, brandy, calamari and wine at Browns, her lotto, scratchies and bingo…not always in that order…she was a social person and loved to people watch at the mall.

Most of you know that mamma was diagnosed with cancer…a brain tumor… in 2020 and when we talked I said this will be a marathon and not a sprint…and we went forward step by step…one day at a time…living our lives 2 months at a time as that is how often we had to see the doctor…mom was scared but in good spirits…she proudly declared with the words of a wise woman that went before her…Bev Nickerson…it will get me one day but not today…I also did my best to reassure her that she would not be alone for I would be by her side no matter what…even though I was terrified myself but I had to be strong for her…however the time that we managed to borrow from the universe would soon come to an end…the road became harder and my mamma more tired…one hospital admission…then a second hospital admission…but this time we found out that mamma had a second cancer…multiple myeloma…the third time to hospital …she tried her best and gave it her all for me…she didn’t want to go and I didn’t want her to go…I’m confident that my mamma didn’t die of her cancers because we might have had a bit more time…I can only think that a VIP seat at God’s chef’s table was open and she was the person to fill it…

so, in a few more borrowed words…

God looked around his garden, and found an empty place.

He then looked down up on the earth, and saw your tired face.

He put His arms around you, and lifted you to rest.

God’s garden must be beautiful. He always takes the best.

He knew that you were suffering. He knew that you were in pain.

He knew that you would never get well on the earth again.

He saw the road was getting rough, and the hills were hard to climb.

So, He closed your weary eyelids, and whispered “Peace be thine.”

It broke our hearts to lose you, but you did not go alone…

For part of us went with you, the day God called you home.

Mamma once asked me not to forget her when she dies…as if I ever could…I told her that our souls are forever connected and that not even death could part us…

So let your memories of my mother be good ones…ones that made you laugh and ones that made you smile and ones that you will never forget…

I will always remember you and forever love you my mamma…

Jelena

Fond memories and expressions of sympathy may be shared at www.firstmemorialsurrey.com for the Matic family.