Kodakeril Koshy "KK" Alexander

-The Beatles

Kodakeril Koshy Alexander went home to be with his savior on Dec 18, 2016. If there was one word that summed up his almost 71.5 years of life it was this: LOVE. He knew love in its truest, realest form. He knew both the pain and the joy of love. He knew that nothing other than love could have such a high cost or sacrifice and offer such profound rewards and blessings. And in all things, whether easy or difficult, he chose love. We can see this in his love of work, his love of friends, his love of family and most importantly, his love of God.

Love of work:

Born in the city (village) of Mannar, Kerala, India on July 31, 1945 to Kodakeril Koshy Idiculla and Mariamma Koshy, KK was the 6th of 10 children. Even as a young boy, he was an intellect with a tremendous memory that made school often unchallenging. After graduating Mannar Nair Samajam School in 1963, he went on to receive his BS and MSC in Chemistry from Ravi Shankar University in 1970. Shortly after, he immigrated to the United States with his new wife. He worked three jobs to provide for his growing family, sacrificing health and personal desires to give his wife and three children a better life. They lived several years in New Jersey until they moved to Texas for a better chance at jobs in his field. He worked for over 7 years as a chemist for City of Houston. Then in 1985, he accepted the job as a forensic Chemist in the Houston Police department. Working at the Crime lab as a Criminalist and moving up the ranks to lab manager was one of the greatest joys and passions of his life. For the next 26.5 years, he went to work every day knowing that he was making a difference. Whether it was in the big things like using his testimony to help get justice or it was in the day-to-day efforts of improving processes or in the lives of his colleagues, direct reports and supervisors, he tried his best to make things better – both externally and internally. He was an avid participant in Toastmasters, where he practiced ways to express his love of writing and words. He retired from the job in 2012, but it was never truly far from his heart. He was proud of where he came from, and what he was able to accomplish, and spent every day truly thankful for that path.

Love of friends

From a young age, KK was a multifaceted person: reserved, yet charismatic; mischievous yet caring, serious yet witty, tough, yet filled with infinite compassion. For him, friendships weren’t a sprint, but a marathon. He wasn’t the one to make small talk at a party or on the phone, but he was the one who remembered a friend’s struggles, who reached out in times of need, or checked in long after others had moved on. Known fondly to his friends as “Alex”, he shared with his friends of his love of music, often having long discussions dissecting lyrics from old Malayalam songs or listening in awe of true musical talent. He could talk forever on politics and had a tremendous memory for world history. And this love of history helped him always learn from the past and help shape the future. He always had a heart for his children’s friends and the younger generations, making them his famous sandwiches, offering them advice or mentorship, or quickly sharing in a joke. Though he appeared serious at first glance, it never took more than five seconds to see the joy and humor he had inside. He kept his ear open to those who were in need and always made sure to help, even when struggling himself. In his later years, you could often see Alex posting on Facebook, cooking amazing food, or taking walks with his beloved dog Murphy. He used any available tool or talent to make sure that those near and far felt his love, and his footprint on this earth is farther than he ever traveled.

Love of family

KK met and married his wife, Kumari, in 1971. Known lovingly to her as “Pacha” , he often recalled how he met and married her in a 2-week span. While the timing was typical of an Indian arranged marriage in the 70s, their love and partnership was nothing short of extraordinary. In their 45+ years together, they immigrated to America, had three children, moved from New Jersey to Texas, faced several struggles and overcame them all. And while no vows were spoken to each other in their wedding, their marriage was the embodiment of love: it bore all things, believed all things, hoped all things and endured all things. After his wife, he always said his greatest assets were his three children- Sindhu, Bindu and Sagar. In his life, he taught his children to love God, love themselves and love others. He made sure they had the confidence to face their fears, he felt their heartaches as if they were his own and rejoiced and celebrated in their wins. He was overjoyed to see his children find love and marry people that could see what he saw in his children and could partner with them as equals, and he truly considered Michael, Tim and Tommie as his children and his friends. His greatest source of joy was his grandchildren: Taylor, Thomas, Sawyer, Spencer and Joanna. To him, being Pop-Pop and Appa was the biggest and best promotion life could offer, and he relished his time with them.

After living several years in America with no other relatives from his side of the family, KK was thrilled to have his nephews- Viju, Vinny and Viji move to Texas. He had unique relationships with each of them, and shared his love of cooking, music, politics, movies and humor with them all, and celebrated in the growth of their families as well. He enjoyed spending time with Prameela, Sneha, Isaac, Naiya, Sonia, Shane, Sherly, Jarod, Andrew and Ryan and Pyari, Anna, Asha and Laila –celebrating holidays, going on trips and just having joking and having talks.

Known lovingly as Pappachayan, he unfortunately knew the pain of losing many of his and Kumari’s siblings before him, and stepped in to try and fill a small part of the void where he could. He was fortunate to visit India in recent years and spend time with his nieces and nephews, and their families, and he cherished the time with them as well as his family in Texas. To those near and far, he was an uncle, a father figure, and a friend and he loved them as if they were his own.

Love of God

KK’s life was not without struggle – he faced many trials in all aspects of his life. But he faced them all with an unwavering faith in God. He cried out to God when he was in trouble, and he praised God in his victories. He surrendered everything to God, even when it was most difficult to do so. He was active in the MarThoma church for most of his life, but he also knew that his faith was bigger than any one church or denomination. He used every experience in his life to draw closer to God, and above all, he used God’s love for him to freely pour love on others.

In his life, KK had many names: Kodakeril, KK, Alex, Pappachayan , Pacha, Dad, Granddaddy, Pop-Pop, and Appa. But the one he heard on his last day, surrounded by his loved ones, was the one he had been faithfully waiting to hear in his 71.5 years on earth: My Son. He heard the voice of his God call to him, and as any good son, he faithfully ran to him. And while we will miss seeing him among us, we take comfort in the knowledge that he lives in the presence of his God, that he is reunited with those who went before him, and that he was surrounded in the love of those who remain behind.