Stanley Jerome Stanley

Beloved Husband, Father, and Loyal Friend

“Joe’s Bar and Grill! Joe Speaking,” was the humorous greeting callers often received when Stanley J. Stanley answered his home phone. A man of contradictions, Stan or Stosh, as many friends knew him, disliked phone conversations, yet devoted over 30 years of his working life as a cable splicer, teacher, and a fiber optics technician to “Ma Bell,” and the Southern New England Telephone Company. In his younger years one could find him climbing poles, descending into man holes where the “bugs glowed,” and ensuring, when he went out in all kinds of weather “on trouble,” that no one would be without phone service for long.

Born in 1929 in West Hartford CT, Stanley loved a good joke; he’d begin introductions with a new acquaintance by explaining the origins of his unusual name: “my Mother stuttered!” The truth was more complicated. When Stanley lost his parents Florence and Harry Birckmayer, and was adopted at age 6 by his maternal aunt Marion Stanley and her husband Fordyce Parks Stanley, he was encouraged to change his first name, but being fond of Stanley, was determined to keep it.

Stanley always knew what he wanted: just graduated from high school, he met his beloved wife Ruth at West Hill Lake, where his family owned a home. Ruth described how she’d seen him the summer they met, brown as a berry, working outside his parents’ home. She had assumed he was a hired hand. Their courtship began when he asked her to take a ride in his family’s speed boat.

An avid hunter who adored animals; a homebody who traveled to Fiji and Hawaii in the service and to the Grand Canyon and Europe with Ruth after he retired; a family man who called his wife each day from work at 4:30, without fail; a daredevil who made donuts with his old Packard on pond ice, and who, into his late 80s, could be found climbing his roof in the winter to dislodge snow and ice. Always able to speak his mind, you knew where you stood with Stan. He was a loving father who raised four children, and cherished his grand and great grandchildren. He was a devoted member of Christ Episcopal Church (CEC), working for years to maintain the centuries-old building, and singing with Ruth in the CEC choir until it’s closing in 2021.

He loved mechanical objects, working on cars, and engines of all kinds, and put those skills to good use as an airplane mechanic in the United States Air Force, during the Korean War. Stanley was promoted in rank to Staff Sergeant and honorably discharged. As his many friends knew, he was always there to offer a helping hand, and able to fix almost anything—Stan was definitely old school.

Stanley J. Stanley passed in his home in Uncasville on June 28, 2022 surrounded by his loving family. It was the week of his and Ruth’s 71st wedding anniversary and he remained devoted to her to the very end.

Predeceased by his parents Florence and Harry Birckmayer, and Marion and Fordyce Parks Stanley; his brother Phillip P. Stanley, and his daughter-in-law Lisa K. Stanley. He is deeply missed and survived by his loving wife Ruth T. Stanley; his children Kent, Lynn, Bruce, and Leslie, and their spouses/partners Vicki, Tracey, Judie, and Steven; his grandchildren Miranda, Jillian, Hannah, Katya, Julia, and James; and his great grandchildren Beckett and Emery, along with many nieces, nephews and great nieces and nephews through the family of his late brother Phillip and on Ruth’s side of the family. An in-person Memorial Service will be held at St. James Episcopal Church in Preston, CT at 2:30 pm on Sunday August 28, 2022. For those who cannot attend in person, the service will also be live-streamed. Please contact [email protected] for streaming information.

Fond memories and expressions of sympathy may be shared at www.montvillefuneralhome.com for the Stanley family.