Marie Elena Tumminelli Melahn

Marie, the only female in the family, grew up the fourth of five siblings. After spending years of being the pin cushion for many of her older brother's pranks, she was finally given the opportunity for payback. Gino, the fifth and last sibling, was born and immediately began using the tricks that she had played victim of for years. Nevertheless, as time passed, she became the protector of her youngest brother and continued that until the day she passed. As time passed, the meaning of family became almost a burden and many times the family grew apart, regained its closeness and once again grew apart. Marie dealt with this for years and in 1973, had the chance to start her own family. On September 15th, 1973, I, her son Stephen, was born and at this point family took on a whole new meaning for her. A short-lived marriage and issues with her mother-in-law, Marie decided it was time to move on and take care of her son by herself. For the first ten years of my life, Marie struggled to make ends-meet but always made sure I had food on the table and clothes on my back. She would spend countless hours outside teaching me how to play sports, especially baseball, and have fun in a neighborhood that was not so comforting. Nevertheless, she always made the best of any situation and showed me how to do the same. I can remember many times we would hear the ice cream truck driving past our apartment and she would scrounge for change, run out the door and down the block just to get me the chocolate eclair I enjoyed so much. If I needed something, she would give me her very last dollar and leave herself broke just so I could buy pizza for lunch or get that bubbl-o Bill at the ballpark. She was an amazing woman and it is instances like this I will never forget.

However, there was always something missing in her life. Although she never showed it, our lives always seem to have a void but for me being so young, I had no idea what it was. I knew raising me by herself was a tremendous strain on her and at such a young age, she had never had any time for herself. Unfortunately, it never became any easier for her. At a young age, I knew that she needed help, but she never asked for it. For those of you who know her, she never seemed to be the sharpest tool in the shed but as I continue to look back, I quickly began to change my opinion. Before the age 10, I knew how to cook, clean, take care of laundry and do my own homework. At the time, I thought she was trying to make things fun and do most of these things together, but what she was really doing was domesticating me to help take some of the responsibilities away from her. I never saw any of this as being told to do chores, but in actuality, she was teaching me how to take care of things myself. Damn, this was pretty clever because we all know if she had asked me to do them, I would have never agreed to it.

I think it is safe to say 1983 was when her life started to change for the better. I played little league for the Dodgers. We had practice everyday at 3:45 but my mother wouldn't get home until 4. I begged forever to let me walk to practice by myself but Marie would never allow it. Every day that we arrived late, my coach, Joseph Melahn (yes her future husband and my step-father), would always have a sarcastic comment to my mother. It was never with malice and to be honest, I ignored it because I was always so excited just to get there. Nevertheless, it happened everyday for months. One night, I was supposed to be in bed and decided to walk into the living room to see my mom and to my surprise, my coach was sitting on the couch with her watching tv. As clueless as any 10 year old would be, I was excited to see him and whatever they were doing (???) just blew over my head like a jetliner. Not paying any attention to this or the conversations they would have during practice, or after practice, I continued to see my mother and Joe talking like two kids who had a crush on each other - and I thought nothing of it. Then one day, she approached me and asked if it would be alright if she can go to dinner with him. Again, I had no clue was was happening and said it was cool. After she got home, I spent a few minutes grilling her like a father would on his daughter's first date. She said they went to the Chestnut Tavern and she had a really good time and then she told me something that caught me by complete surprise. Without hesitation, she said that she liked him very much and that she was going to continue to see him for as long as possible. I have to admit, this was a bit upsetting to me because I never had to share my mother would anyone. Needless to say, her happiness came first regardless of what I thought. A year later, they got married and it is safe to say that void that had been missing for years began to overflow with joy. She deserved every ounce of the happiness she received meeting Joe and her life would have never be the same because of it.

I look back at it now and realize that if it wasn't for me being late everyday for practice, my parents may have never come to be. I like to give myself the credit for this match made in heaven. Just-kidding, sometimes things are just meant to be and this bond between Marie and Joe was definitely meant to be. As we all know, every relationship has its ups and downs, and theirs was no different. However, no matter how hard the struggles were and how dark the times became, they always pulled together and found a way to get through it. Marie was one of the most resilient individuals I have or will ever know. She taught me as well as my step-father, Joe, many valuable lessons about life and how to deal with its shortcomings.

Her life was complete when she had grandchildren, Gianna Marie and Tyler. She absolutely adored them as they did her. She had an uncanny bond with Gianna and it showed everytime they were together. Gianna is so proud to have her middle name after my mother. It is a connection she will have with her for the rest of her life. I just wish Marie was around to watch them grow and be there for me to make sure I am as good of a parent as she was to me.

Marie was the foundation of our lives. She always found a way to sturdy our legs whenever they felt weak. She always was there to shine the light when we were in the dark. She was our role model and gave us so much insight about life that even now that she is gone, we still are learning from her and using her knowledge to move forward. Marie was straight-forward and sometimes brutally honest, but she never would lead us in the wrong direction. Many times I did not want to hear what she had to say; however, it always made sense and eventually would prove to be righteous. She made an impact on so many lives and will never be forgotten. Marie we miss you so much. I know you are watching and I hope you are proud of what we are doing and what we are going to accomplish. Mom, from Joe and I, we love you with all of our hearts and miss you more than life itself.