Merton Elmer Stanhope

Merton Elmer Stanhope passed away on July 29, 2022, one day before his 86th birthday. His brief nickname, “Stan”, was fitting for his down-to-earth, no-nonsense personality. Our sadness at his passing is tempered by many happy memories and the knowledge that he enjoyed life to its fullest, especially when outdoors or in the company of family and friends.

He was the son of Helen (Jones) Stanhope and Elmer Leroy Stanhope (both deceased) and grew up in the small town of Hartland, ME with his sister Ruth (Leslie) Gale (deceased). He is survived by his devoted wife of 60 years, Elaine (Roundy) Stanhope; his three children and their spouses, David (Jen) Stanhope, Patti (Biff) Baker, and Terri McBride; and seven grandchildren, Tyler and Lexi Stanhope, Katie, Ethan, and Anna Baker, and Allie and Tommy McBride. He also leaves behind nephews Steve, Stu, John, and Jim Gale, who were his lifelong friends and partners in pranks.

Stan attended Hartland Academy through high school with friends that he kept in touch with into his 80s. He shared many stories of his childhood adventures including jumping from the train bridge into the Sebasticook River and picking beans for 2 cents a pound as his first job. After high school, he joined the service and proudly served in the US Air Force from 1954-1958. Having never traveled beyond Boston before, being stationed in Japan was an amazing experience and he fell in love with the country and its culture.

Following his military service, Stan earned a B.S. degree in accounting from Husson College in Bangor, ME. It was at Husson that he met his future wife, Elaine. Stan and Elaine were married on June 23, 1962 at the Methodist Church in Fairfield, ME and then moved to Arlington, VA where Stan began his career in accounting for the federal government. His positions in agencies including GAO, DEA, OEO and the Department of Education took Stan, Elaine, and their children to reside in Atkinson, NH (working in Boston) and Reston, VA (working in Washington, DC). Throughout his career, Stan earned the respect and enjoyed the camaraderie of his many colleagues.

After retiring, Stan and Elaine returned to Maine for several years to be near their aging parents, and then settled in Lewes, DE. In Lewes, Stan enjoyed the company of neighborhood friends including Dutch Snyder and Ed Joyce and loved being near the ocean. He spent many afternoons floating on his back far off the beach at Cape Henlopen State Park, slowly covering several miles and then walking back to his starting place.

Stan spent his last few years in Williamsburg, VA, living in the same neighborhood as his son David’s family. The extreme dedication of Elaine and David allowed Stan to reside in the comforting surroundings of his own home throughout his battle with Alzheimer’s Disease.

Stan and Elaine had many shared interests that transitioned over the years from dancing at The Blue Goose and stylish nights out to providing fun-filled childhoods for their children. They spent many summers camping at Sunset Lake and Sebago Lake in their pop-up camper, taught the kids to swim and ski, and traveled the East coast from the White Mountains to Florida. Throughout their marriage they continued to enjoy gardening, dining out with friends, doing projects and crafts, and traveling. One of their favorite trips was to Hawaii to celebrate their 25th anniversary.

Stan took great pride in his homes and yards and worked hard to maintain and improve them. He was a skilled DIY-er, building playhouses, dollhouses, garden beds, backyard ice skating rinks, picnic tables, and more. His garages were always meticulously organized, as were his many files (handwritten lists of the purchase and sale price of every car he ever owned, etc.) and other belongings (many, many T-shirts and ball caps).

He loved watching and debating all things sports and politics, with his biggest passion being the Boston Red Sox. A highlight of his life was the Sox winning the World Series in 2004 after a drought beginning after their 1918 win. Stan loved that his obsession with the Red Sox was taken up by his daughter Terri and grandchildren Allie and Tommy.

Another favorite hobby was fishing, which he did in lakes and oceans throughout his life, culminating in many annual trips to Alaska to fish for salmon and halibut with Bob Larson and other friends. He absolutely loved these extreme fishing experiences and the rugged beauty of Alaska. Stan also loved fishing with his nephews and their “side-trips” to casinos.

Stan was a great dad and grandfather. He faithfully attended band concerts, ballet recitals, youth sports events and graduations and made sure his kids knew he was proud of their achievements. He was highly principled and always aimed to teach them the “right” thing to do. And he was also fun. He didn’t just take the kids and grandkids to lakes and oceans, but was right in there with them, swimming, helping them fish, launching them into waves on boogie boards, and digging holes and building larger-than-life sand sea turtles on beaches. Evenings were for teaching them to be ruthless players of dominoes and rummy. Hearing from Dad/Grandpa was always entertaining: emails overflowing with capital letters and exclamation points and letters and cards covered with stickers and silly comments.

While at times Stan did not have the most patience and could be downright grumpy, he was a caring and sentimental soul. He would spontaneously adopt a puppy, come home without his coat because he gave it to a homeless person on the street, and always gave strong, genuine handshakes and hugs.

Stan maintained his sense of humor and sense of adventure even as his health declined, leaving his family with many great memories of white-water rafting, walking the beach, and sharing loud chaotic meals even in his last year. He was gracious and grateful in the face of multiple health challenges. We will miss you incredibly Stan, Dad, Grandpa.

A memorial service for Stan will be held in Lewes, DE at Thanksgiving. Memorial donations may be made to Respite Care of Williamsburg Methodist Church, 500 Jamestown Road, Williamsburg, VA 23185 (Attn: Iveta Marston, RN, Executive Director Respite Care).

Fond memories and expressions of sympathy may be shared at www.NelsenWilliamsburg.com for the Stanhope family.