Phylis J. Banish

Died on Thanksgiving morning, November 26, 2020. She lived independently in her home of 26 years, located in the woods of Forest Glen, a historic neighborhood (in Silver Spring, Maryland). She is survived by her daughter, Dr. Linda Dee Banish, her devoted granddaughter, Charli Ariel Bradley-Banish, her sister, Eunice (Sheer) Robuck, and her sister’s children, Ronald Geller, Mitchell R. Geller, and Alissa Geller Korfin. Her husband, Charles Edward Banish and her son David Scott Banish are both predeceased. Despite her numerical age, my mom lived a vibrant, lively and healthy life. There is no one who is not shocked and disappointed in this ending. We all believed she would be one of those who would be around for another 20 years. We thought her high energy and good attitude would carry her forward; that she still would be walking 3 miles a day, attending exercise classes at the senior center, mowing her lawn, driving herself to our dentist, three hours away in Harrisonburg, Va. Her volunteer activities kept her engaged, purposeful and entertained. For 20 years (until COVID) she has been volunteering weekly in the classroom of my daughter’s favorite childhood teacher, Mrs. Mason. Here she was especially valued because she was a capable, kind, engaging retired-teacher herself. She also served for decades at the Arena Stage as a volunteer usher. She very much enjoyed the Roundhouse Theater, Hey Day Players, where she acted and read plays with a wonderful group of peers. In younger years she loved all kinds of dancing, volunteered at many local festivals, biked, skied, volunteered with a handicapped skiing association, tried her hand at writing novels, traveled. I am sure I am missing many activities and endeavors. Although my mom was a professional early childhood teacher, worked for the Carter Transition team in the Executive Office Building and had several federal administrative positions, in her own heart and mind, her most important role in life, was devoted wife and mother. Sadly we suffered the tragic loss of my brother, David at 45 years old and my father before him at the same age, so all that love and attention fell to Charli and myself. She put us ahead of herself in all important matters. With a family-first mindset, she spent much time in the last decade researching her family tree and connected our tiny family to several newfound relations. Some of these became dear friends with whom she communicated regularly. COVID was the big event of 2020 and sadly the pandemic separated my mom from all the people and activities she most enjoyed; in the first few months, she was separated even from my daughter and myself, as I was fearful of my workplace exposure. In the very early subtle stages of her illness, we found it difficult to get adequate medical attention because everyone held isolation from COVID exposure as the most important factor to consider. By the time, at my insistence, that we were able to get her physically seen by a doctor, her cancer was stage 3. She took the news as bravely as anyone possibly could and she fought hard for a remission. Given an 80% chance for remission from ovarian adenocarcinoma, we all lived on hope after her recent diagnosis. To the last moments of her life, she had hope and she fought with bravery and all the positive energy she could put forth in trying to get back to living. One of my sincere regrets is that I did not follow through on her desire to travel to a “dark sky” location so that she could escape the orange DC night haze and see the stars and the Milky Way again. On the day of her death Charli and I lamented that we should have arranged a SIGN for mom to give us the assurance that she was in heaven watching over us in a “better place”. I took Charli home that night to our own place in Virginia. We had not been there in weeks and Charli went out to get our mail. We like to believe now that the shooting star that Charli saw that night was my mom sending that sign.