Lillian Leokadia Zdonek Mielnik

80 years. Passed away peacefully at home. Loving wife of Orest (Alek) Mielnik. Loving Mom of Irene, grandmother of Ellisson and great-grandmother of Cameron. She was “mother” to Maria. Sister of Stan Zdonek. Predeceased by her parents John and Genevieve Zdonek and her brothers John & Alexander. Lillian retired from Blue Cross/Blue Shield as a Systems Analyst after 38 years of dedicated service. She was a past member of the National Association of Female Executives. She touched the lives of many with her kindness and generosity and will be deeply missed by those who loved her. She loved fine art, animals and the Red Wings. In keeping with Lillian’s wishes, cremation has taken place and a Private Family Memorial will be held. If desired, memorial donations in Lillian’s memory may be made to the Heart & Stroke Foundation by contacting the Anderson Funeral Home & Cremation Centre at (519) 254-3223.

Nicknames: Lodgia or Lodge to family or Lil to friends

Married to Dad on July 7, 1954

Lillian's parents, John and Genevieve Zdonek immigrated from Poland. Her mother, Genevieve stayed at home while her father, John Sr. worked at Ford's until retirement. He worked in the foundry and he also was a carpenter. Lillian had 3 brothers, Alexander (Alex), Stan and Johnny who was the baby in the family.

Genevieve was a perfectionist when it came to cooking, baking, sewing (feather pillows and down filled comforters), along with her flower and vegetable gardens. She was also a pro with carpentry work who could make hardwood floors with her husband. John Sr. also was a perfectionist with carpentry work using basic tools and lumber. Together they would work on renovating and building from the bottom up. Both were perfectionists when it came to renovating and they truly excelled at workmanship.

Alexander was a factory man, while Stan was going through teacher's college to become a teacher and Johnny was going through the police academy until graduation and becoming a constable in Windsor. Alex and Johnny excelled in sports, such as baseball, basketball and football. Johnny loved kids and in his youth, he taught pee wee football and was also a leader at Lanspeary Park during the summer months, compiling programs for kids to enjoy.

There were tragedies in the family when the youngest of her brothers died from double pneumonia on November 29th, 1965. He was only 25 years of age and a Windsor Policeman in the early 60's. There was turmoil in the family as her mother and father would cry everyday for the loss of their son. It was hardship for the family. The family was devastated over the death of Johnny, being so young. It was just unbelievable to everyone.

Her father, John Sr. passed away with mesothelioma which was detected by a chest x-ray. Although he was a very healthy man, he went through many chemotherapy treatments to dissolve a pea-sized tumour on his lung. He lived to be 77 years of age and passed on in December of cancer in the mid seventies. Her mother now had two deaths to deal with, but it wasn't only Genevieve who felt the sorrow, it was the entire family.

A few years later, the drowning of another family member, Alex was tragic. There were a few close friends who went on a fishing trip and the boat capsized by the St. Lawrence River and both Alex and his best friend weren't found. It was a few weeks before they recovered his body and a closed casket funeral was arranged. Alexander was 45 years of age at the time of his death. These tragedies were overwhelming and the family continued to lived in chaos.

Eventually, her mother would pass on at the age of 89 in the mid 90's. Her health had always been filled with many problems throughout the years. Genevieve survived through a lot of family turmoil with her poor health but her inner strength continued to carry through until her final days. The only surviving sibling was her brother Stan.

Lillian went to Prince Edward School and then to Kennedy Collegiate. She loved Kennedy.

Lillian landed a job at the Windsor Salt Mine and lasted a week. She did not want to return because the work atmosphere was very dismal. She was determined that a week was enough for her as she looked for other work. She then landed a job with the Gas Company in Detroit and started as an entry level key punch operator which she enjoyed. She was employed there for a while but there was word that a bigger company was hiring.

She went on to apply for a position at Blue Cross/Blue Shield of Michigan and after one interview, she was hired on the spot. Lillian remained with Blue Cross until she retired, 38 years later. This would be her dream job......a place she loved to go each day. She loved all of the jobs she had, starting from key punching to data entry, many various positions involving computers, climbing up the ladder to supervisor and manager - being a Systems Analyst. She had a number of employees working for her and with her. The best years of her life were the first 25 years at Blue Cross until they merged with Green Shield. There were so many stories of her place of employment and how much she enjoyed going to work every day.

She was so very well liked at every level and her employees loved working for her because she worked with them and didn't act like a superior to them. She treated everyone as if they were on the same level as her - nobody was beneath her. She had made many, many friends throughout those years at work. She wouldn't and didn't miss any parties, occasions, get togethers, luncheons and especially retirement parties. She was always in attendance and she always came with gifts.

She constantly talked about the early years, how much fun it was to go to work, how she loved the gals who became her friends. And there were too many to mention. Her friends in the states were her close friends. It was different when she was growing up.......her parents were strict with her and only a few neighbours who were the same age were considered school friends. The world of her friendships developed when she started her career. She became more Americanized, working in the states. They were so much more advanced than the Canadians. She loved Detroit and often talked about the roots where Saunders and Vernors were born. 'Boston Coolers, Vernor's Floats,' were a part of her life.

She never had the desire to learn how to drive. She took the tunnel bus to work mostly every day and would walk 6 blocks to Blue Cross. Very seldom did she take a ride from anyone crossing over the border as she loved to walk. That became her daily exercise.......walking. She'd rather keep with her routine and take the buses rather than to burden anyone with driving her.

My mom was a brilliant cook, just like my father. They made home made soup every weekend. My mother's specialty was cabbage rolls. She made them for everyone........she was always offering to make them for occasions or parties or it would be requested from her. She never failed to please those who loved her cabbage rolls and there were many, many who did, even through my married years and beyond. At Christmas, she always had a list of people who she just had to make roastfulls of cabbage rolls. They were made and they were delivered. She made cabbage rolls not only because she was an expert at it but loved to bring happiness to everyone who enjoyed them. Payment was understood that a 'thank you,' or a 'smile,' any compliments or sign of appreciation was enough for her. She enjoyed cooking home made meals and it was always from scratch. Whenever she came over, she always taught me a few more things about cooking, even teaching me step by step, how to make cabbage rolls just 14 months ago. She was the 'cabbage roll' queen. She loved every kind of food there was but lamb. Her love for animals prohibited her from eating lamb as it reminded her of her times at the farm in Saline, Michigan. She was accustomed to dining in fine restaurants and enjoyed different cultures. She loved polish cuisine, greek, chinese and American.

My mom was a shopper who loved good, quality items. If it wasn't quality, she didn't want it. Their first living room set was French Provincial when it was in style. She loved neutral tones of cream and gold. She loved gold and incorporated it in her decor throughout the home. Picture framing would enhance gold accents, cutlery, dishes rimmed in gold, there wouldn't be a piece that didn't have something with gold in it. She loved oriental design, detailed ornaments, lots of cut crystal, murano glass, marble in neutral colours with gold veining throughout. Brocades and detailed work in material always caught her eye. Although she loved fine art, she loved to browse through architectural and fine art magazines which always gave her ideas on decor. Exotic statues, buddahs, pedestals, mirrored glass were incorporated throughout the home.

She dressed professionally, and wore expensive clothes, matching shoes, etc. It was rare to see her in pants or pant suits until her later years. Her jackets, blazers and vests either had to have gold trim throughout or beading. A lot of her wardrobe had beading in it whether it was blouses, sweaters or tops. Her favourite stores were McCance, Scotch Wool Boutique, Trott's Shoes and Smiths. The stores she shopped in were personable and she liked that very much. She loved jewelry and admired fine crystal. She enjoyed the unusual; items that were one of a kind; things that were different. Her taste told the tale of who she was. You could browse in a store and look at an item and say........'that's her.....she'd love that.' She was a very independant individual throughout her career and into retirement.

She always wanted the best for everyone. When her grandson was born, she was always over and she lived here, at her daughter's, more than she did at home. She helped and assisted with anything and everything. She enjoyed the pleasures of being a 'grandma,' but I didn't want to burden her with having to babysit full time since she was newly retired. She deserved to enjoy her time off and not have the demands of babysitting. You could never talk her into having any kind of vacation. She always had the fear of flying and would never think of traveling by plane......not even when she'd be sent out on assignments from work while she was employed. Someone else would have to take her place. All of her vacation time during her working career were taken by extended weekends. She'd take Fridays and Mondays off and she was so happy to be able to do that rather than to have weeks off at a time. That's the way it would be.

Mom was up on current events, the news, CNN and everything going on around the world. She loved to read and she was up on what was going on with politics, especially in the USA. There wasn't anything she had to look up as she was so current and up to date on everything. She was obsessed with political news and could tell you what's going on in the world.

She was her own advisor, never being able to convince her to see a doctor for anything. She was never known to even have a cold or the flu. She refused to get flu shots. She had her way and it was going to be the only way. She claimed that she was her own doctor. After developing sciatica problems when she fell on her own steps, she refused to get the ailment looked after. She was adamant that she would deal with it and it would get better. It impaired her walking and she needed the assistance of a cane to get around. But she was mobile enough to get out, enjoy dinners, lunches, and get togethers at Christmas time.

She was always proud of any accomplishments made. She was happy for others, she was happy for people she didn't even know. Often times, her personality ranged from one spectrum to another........loving, caring and content, to being fiery, blunt and to the point. Never would it be to come across as being mean and cold although sometimes, it seemed that way but most of the time it was her true feelings. What she wanted, she'd make sure one way or another, that she got it. Everything had to be her way.

She also knew what she was talking about in relation to the knowledge she had accumulated throughout her long journey. She advised on every subject imaginable.......but to her own demise, she would not hear of medical advice or taking care of her sciatica. She was a very, very strong woman who took a lot of pride in her appearance. She always looked so beautiful and her appearance changed very little as she continued to grow 'younger.' She was adamant in being her own doctor but she'd take the time to advise others of what to do with their health problems. She was never sick in her life, quite contrary to my fathers' illnesses with his heart conditions, suffering for 22 years of his life beginning with his first heart attack. She accompanied him in every appointment when the specialists were all in London. Both enjoyed taking the train down to London and they'd both walk from the train station to Victorial Hospital. It was amazing the condition they were in until the sciatic problem and failing health with my father. He'd gone through various operations with his eye sight, until macular generation set in. She was the strong one while he became weaker with more health ailments. The great care that my father received in London was repaid by monthly donations to the London Health Sciences. Ironically, it was coronary artery disease that took her life in her sleep.

She'd always be remembered by her kindness and generosity. She was so humourous and made people laugh. Her unselfishness was predominant throughout her life. She helped and would never stop helping because it was her way of showing that she deeply cared. She cared for others and defied any problems of herself. Her beauty not only was admired on the outside but she had a heart of gold that anyone who crossed her path would see. She was stunning wherever she went. Her strong will and intelligent mind would give no indication of any sickness other than sciatica. She could remember names, first and last....of everyone she met. She could tell you stories from decades ago. She could remember the taste of food, any food.......delicious apples off of the trees, cherries, apricots, gooseberries........anything like that. Often times, she remembered when she tasted her first pizza, the meatloaf at the top of the Flame, the steaks and delicious bread at Joe Muir's, etc. She could remember all of the dinners she attended and if something was unforgettable, she'd describe why it was so unforgettable or what the circumstances were surrounding it.

She was aware who the special people in her life were. As for me, she accepted my best friend Marcy, as if she were her own daughter. Marcy and I met in 1967 and we've been best friends since. She accepted Maria who was my son's nanny as part of the family since the first day. She truly loved my closest friends and she knew all about them. She was a protector in every way imaginable.

She may have been 80 but her mind was ageless. She was the type of woman who absolutely felt she was invincible. Everything to her was fine. Just fine. You could not question her when everything was always fine. She believed in herself and she convinced more than herself that there were no worries about her well being. Her strong and determined character was profound right to the end. If I had to find any kind of fault with her, it would be her stubborness of not listening to those who loved her, but only following her own advice......never seeking any medical advice. It was right out of the question. She lived her life the way she wanted to and nobody would be able to change that. She was defiant in that respect. She took on the world at her pace and that's the way she was through all the years.

Trying to accumulate 80 years of her life in words or on paper is so very difficult. In fact, it's impossible. There were good times, bad times, great times and times filled with disastrous events which made things that much more complex. My regret is that I didn't keep a journal of her life. Knowing how she loved her work, her job, her years of friendships, parties and memorable moments, it could fill a book so easily.

She was a beautiful, beautiful woman who will never be forgotten by anyone who had met her. She will always, always be loved and never forgotten. The loss of a wife, mother, grandmother and great grandmother has impacted each of our lives. The sadness is too overwhelming for us. There's a lot of things we cannot understand. So much was left unanswered. And there can never, ever be any words that can describe that feeling of sudden loss when we are reminded of her strong, powerful words right to the final day of her life. The pain and shock is truly unbearable.

"When I come to the end of the day

And the sun has set for me,

I want no rites in a gloom-filled room

Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little, but not too long

And not with your head bowed low.

Remember the love we once shared,

Miss me, but let me go.

For this is a journey we all must take

And each must go alone.

It's all a part of the maker's plan,

A step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick at heart,

Go to the friends we know,

And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds

Miss me, but let me go."