Vivien Watson

Held tenderly in the arms of her husband Bruce, and witnessed by her sons and sisters, Vivien took her final journey from this life on December 17th, 2021. Her pain is gone, our hearts are broken, and she leaves all of us with love and admiration for a life well lived. In Vivien’s own words, “I have no regrets. I am going to be alright.” There is an aching empty spot in all our hearts as we try to come to terms with this iconic woman’s role in each of our lives.

Vivien leaves to mourn her beloved husband Bruce Laudin, son Demsey (Valentina) and their daughter Kitson, son Mack, and Vivien’s extended family; sister Ingrid (Bill) and their families, brother-in-law Collin and family, sister Lorraine and family, sister Elvera (Marcial) and family; Bruce’s children Sarah (Chris) and their son Gavin, Anna, Adam (Tanisha), Emily, and Bruce’s extended family; Richard (Alanna), and family, David (Charlene) and family, Brenda (Stuart) and family, Susan and family, many aunts, uncles and cousins, and Vivien’s dearest mother-in-law Jeanne, with whom Vivien shared a special bond. Missing Vivien from the other side of the world is her lifelong friend, whom Vivien loved like a sister, Ardyth (Jim) and their family.

Many made this journey before Vivien, including her precious daughter Ellory (December 23, 1991-January 4, 2012). Losing her daughter was one of the most challenging, and deeply heart-wrenching sorrows she had to bear in her life. Vivien was also predeceased by her father Edmund Watson (1923-1996), her mother Judith Watson (1919-2005), sister Sylvia Anderson (1952-2013), brother-in-law Thomas Inglis (1946-1992), father-in-law Alfons Laudin (1931-2010), and brother-in-law Gerald Dyck (1955-2013).

Vivien and Bruce were a devoted couple for 15 incredible years. Their deep love was celebrated in a wedding ceremony on August 16, 2020. They were grateful to be in each other’s lives and amazed that the life that they built together was so wonderful. Vivien said Bruce was the best thing that ever happened to her. Their years were filled with friendship, affection, happiness, and complete admiration for one another. Their unbridled love was a pleasure to behold. They were one another’s most magnificent delights, soulmates. Together they had many adventures: the long trek up to Machu Picchu, the incredible hiking in Costa Rica, the sunshine of Huatulco, the clear waters of the Cook Islands, and the expanses of Australia. Equally enjoyed were the short trips across the prairies for farm equipment or to a family gathering.

Vivien and Bruce farmed together outside of Brunkild, MB where Vivien was an integral part of the farm operation; she participated in everything from driving the combine to making field meals, even when she was very ill. She loved her garden, her flowers, the sunroom, her dog Lexi, a visit from friends, and mowing the lawn, even though it took over two days to mow.

Vivien loved her childhood farm in Eriksdale and she found solace there. It was not just a farm, but a home where love grew. It was a place where multiple generations of the family had come to relax, celebrate, and spend time together. Vivien took pride in the work that she and Bruce had done in recent years to make the place a delightful escape. Out at the farm, she could enjoy the outdoor activities she loved: going to the beach, sitting by the fire, hiking, canoeing by day or night, the new swimming hole and photographing nature. She especially loved cross-country skiing, even on the grass when snow was sparse. She loved that the “Miller Maids” called the swimming hole, the “Dig Out” and that they would happily swim with the fat frogs and the garter snakes.

Like her beloved father Edmund, she read voraciously, often finishing a book every day. Vivien and her sisters would exchange books on all occasions, whether for a holiday or birthday lunch. The sisters exchanged so many books that they initialed them as read, to keep this chaotic ritual somewhat manageable. When the books had made the rounds, they often found their way to friends, family, or wait staff. Vivien believed to share a book was to share knowledge. She also believed in finishing a book even if it was “shitty”; nothing was left undone.

Vivien’s generosity was not just dispensing knowledge, she often donated gifts, money, and time, even when she didn’t have much to spare. She was a big proponent of supporting local, from local makers to local talents, she gave generously. A memorable event for many was when she got carried away bidding on a charity auction, which led to her treating her friends and family to a big party in the shop with a personal chef and local band.

Her strength was to be admired; not many knew that Vivien lived with a broken back and chronic pain her entire adult life. When Vivien’s sister Sylvia needed a kidney, all four sisters were found to be a match, but Vivien was the best match. The doctor said the donor would have the body of an Olympic athlete and the face of an angel. When she donated her kidney to Sylvia, she gifted her sister with another 15 years of life. Afterwards, she trained for and ran in the kidney marathon in Jamaica, raising thousands of dollars for kidney research. Despite the physical health issues, she danced like no one was watching and could execute a mean polka or two-step, even if Bruce couldn’t keep up.

Willing to tackle anything, Vivien’s attitude towards maintenance and repairs was “chicks can fix”. When she needed a deck, she borrowed a drill and built the deck with her sisters. When her car broke down, she got all the children in the car to chew gum so she could patch the fuel line to make it home. Her house painting was ‘legendary’, said with tongue-in-cheek, but she was self-assured and confident in everything. With her, it was not so much the result, as the journey to get there.

You always knew where you stood with Vivien because she was direct and told it like it was—no BS. While she was funny and sarcastic, she was also strong, stubborn, self-assured, fierce, and resolute. Vivien was well informed, from reading and listening to the news or daily podcasts, she was easy to talk to and well versed on everything from politics, climate change, social systems, history, and any topic in between. She was truly interested in people and their ideas, so it was a pleasure to be in her presence and debate anything and everything.

Vivien was well known for her frequent use of the “F word”, which she used in anger, surprise, delight, love, shock, and derision. She creatively used it as an adverb, adjective, noun, verb, or as any particle of speech that she could invent. She was unbridled in her predictable unapologetic expression of “saying it like it is”. She would often declare “Shine the light higher” and “It’s all good!” A perfect description of the way that she lived was written on the walls of her home “Question everything”, “Live in gratitude”, “Love without measure”, and “Follow your dreams”.

Vivien was very principled and did not tolerate any ‘isms’. Her life was dedicated to learning. She graduated with a Bachelor of Arts in justice, and a Bachelor and Master of Social Work. The research in her thesis Decolonization: Moving to lnclusive Foster Care explored the very real and continued colonization of children within the foster care system. Her career spanned many decades, working to improve the model of foster care in Manitoba. She was a child advocate like no other; a person’s position of power would not deter her from challenging them when she felt they were on the wrong side of decision making when it came to a child. Along with Ingrid, she developed and delivered thousands of hours of training for foster families throughout Manitoba, and continued these teachings at the Manitoba Foster Family Association, Interlake Foster Care Project with Child and Family Services, Regional Specialized Foster Care with New Directions, McDonald Youth Services, and Metis Child, Family and Community Services, as well as her own role as a foster parent, and in her later years, a private therapist. Vivien’s professionalism and fierce grit for child rights held her in good stead during her career.

The advocacy Vivien exemplified at work spilled into her life as a mother. Her children were proud to have the coolest mom in town. Her sons described her relaxed parenting style that focused on fostering independence and resiliency. She gave her children “wildness” to explore and make mistakes on their own to encourage their growth. She sent Mack and Ellory to Chile with Elvera, so they could travel and try new experiences. She was a single mother who had a career, yet she always made time for her children and the people she loved. Vivien was a proud and supportive mother and loved her three children endlessly and protected them with all her heart. She was so very proud of all their accomplishments and was often offering Demsey ideas on what he should invent. She described Ellory as the fashion police. She laughed when sharing the antics of her children like when Mack repeatedly invited the doorbell ringing goat into the living room or when he drove a car into the above ground pool. She and Lorraine shared so much parenting of their children, they could have been married. To her nieces and nephews, she was considered the favorite, smart, fun aunt. Viv had a knack for inclusion like no other. And yet, she was a very private person.

Vivien’s sweetest joy was the arrival of her darling granddaughter, Kitson. Vivien’s face often hurt from smiling at this perfect little human. As a grandmother she encouraged Kitson’s growth and development by letting her make messes, reading her books, and colouring with her. She spoiled Kitson and she refused to acknowledge it, and in her final days she was still lovingly arranging gifts of Kitson’s favorite things, an illustration of the love she had for this small miracle who had made her life complete.

It is a monumental task to put this incredible woman’s life into words. Vivien was true to herself, true to her family and friends, and true to everyone she met. To be loved by Vivien was to be loved with passion and commitment, a true and loyal friend, sister, sister-in-law, grandmother, mother, and wife. It was a privilege to have been a part of her life, even for a moment. The loss of Vivien will remain heavy on our hearts for the rest of our lives. None shall ache more than her sons and her darling husband Bruce, who remained by her side, not missing a moment of the love and life they shared.

In lieu of flowers, Vivien requested that donations be made to CancerCare Manitoba in her name. As per Vivien’s wishes, there will be no funeral. She will be put to rest in the cemetery in Scotch Bay beside her sweet Ellory. She was ahead of her time in so many areas of her life. We could all take a lesson on living large and full lives. In her own words “Sunsets never grow old.” She will be missed.