Carmen Castañeda Necheles

Our matriarch, Carmen Castañeda Necheles, passed away on May 8, 2023 at the age of 102. Over the last decade, she resided in Arlington, Virginia with her youngest daughter, Anna Necheles, son-in-law, Kevin Appel, and her eldest granddaughter, Caroline Necheles (daughter of Jean Necheles). Previously, she lived for nearly 50 years in Newton, Massachusetts.

Carmen was born in Humacao, Puerto Rico in 1921 - the youngest of eight children. She spent her childhood and early adult years with the blessings of a large extended family, with wonderful experiences with close siblings, cousins and friends. After high school, Carmen took a civilian job with the US Army, and attended college at night to obtain a bachelor’s degree. She was the first woman in her family to graduate from college, earning her business degree from the University of Puerto Rico.

Getting a job as a secretary in the army brought Carmen luck in several ways. Not only did she win the office lottery twice, the first got her a plot of land and the second provided the cash to build her house, she also met her first husband Thomas Necheles. Tom was a private and Carmen was the secretary for Tom’s commanding officer. They were married in 1955 and she left her Army job after having her first child in 1956; they left Puerto Rico, moving to Chicago in 1956 for Tom to attend medical school. While in Chicago they had two more children and she took evening classes towards a master’s degree at the University of Chicago. They moved to the Boston area in 1961 for Tom’s residency at the Boston Floating Hospital, where they had two more children. With five children below the age of twelve, Carmen obtained her master's degree from Simmons College and in 1967 became a teacher with the Boston Public Schools, initially teaching English as a second language.

In 1970, the Boston Public School Department established a number of bilingual “clusters” (one elementary, one middle, and one high school) in the South End and North Dorchester-Roxbury neighborhoods. Carmen, as one of the only full-time Puerto Rican teachers in the city, was appointed as the initial director of the bilingual department. Over the next number of years, Carmen was instrumental in the expansion of the city-wide program, traveling to other cities, states and Puerto Rico to aggressively recruit bilingual teachers. During that time she attended numerous community meetings in Boston neighborhoods to encourage parents to enroll their children in the program.

In 1972, Carmen was appointed by the Boston School Committee as an advisor to a task force to work with the Board of Education on school integration. Later, in connection with the court approved desegregation plan, Carmen became a District Superintendent of the Boston Public School System. In the late 1970s and throughout the 1980s, Carmen returned to her love as an elementary school teacher, at public schools located in Brighton, Massachusetts. She retired from teaching in 1993 at the age of 72.

Following the death of her first husband, Carmen found love again and married Albert Belton in 1987. Carmen and Al continued to live in Newton, Massachusetts until 2013 when they moved to Virginia. Al passed away in 2017. Carmen lived a rich and full life, volunteering with community programs, visiting her extensive network of family and friends, hosting wine nights, “Cosmo Fridays”, and Champagne Sundays, attending theater and musical events, and traveling around the world.

Among her later trips, she traveled to Havana at 97, Paris at 98, and Madrid at 99 (COVID curtailed her traveling to Italy and Guatemala), however, just shy of 102, Carmen traveled to California and Texas. Carmen was so exuberant and gregarious that people dining at tables next to her, upon learning her age (she only became comfortable sharing as she reached and passed 100 years old), would routinely ask their waiters to have whatever cocktail she was having. As she grew older, she was force to curtail her partying, restricting it to days ending with the letter “Y”.

Carmen was never sure of her birthdate, she was told that she was born in January. As a family, we celebrate her birthdate as Jan 19 but, in true Carmen fashion, we also celebrate her Birth Certificate date, March 28. In her later years, Susan started the tradition of celebrating her birthday each time they went to a restaurant.

She is survived by her eight children and stepchildren and their spouses: Jean Necheles and Paul Donovan (of Brighton, Massachusetts); Michael and Sally Necheles (of Rochester, New York); Susan Necheles and Joseph Skoler (of New York, New York); Peter Necheles and Marlissa Briggett (of Arlington, Massachusetts); Anna Necheles and Kevin Appel (of Arlington, Virginia); David and Ardean Belton (of Madison, Wisconsin); Keith and Geanne Belton (of Lennox, Massachusetts); and Elizabeth and Frank Meyer zu Heringdorf (of Essen, Germany); as well as her nineteen grandchildren and her seven great-grandchildren; her niece, Lydia Alicea (of Coral Springs, Florida), nephews, Eddie Miro (of Guaynabo, Puerto Rico) and Francisco Cantañeda (of Atlanta, Georgia), as well as multiple great nieces and nephews.

To celebrate this remarkable woman, family and friends are invited to gather on May 19, 2023 from 4-7pm at Murphy Funeral Home, located at 4510 Wilson Blvd, Arlington, Virginia 22203. The Funeral Mass will be on May 20, 2023 at 2pm at Our Lady Queen of Peace, located at 2700 19th Street South, Arlington, Virginia 22204.

Immediately after Mass, friends and family are invited to join us at the burial site at Columbia Gardens Cemetery, located at 3411 Arlington Blvd, Arlington, Virginia 22201. Celebration of her life will continue at the pavilion located at Columbia Garden Cemetery’s main building.

Carmen asked that in lieu of flowers donations be made to organizations with the mission of protecting women and children. We suggest donations to be made in Carmen’s name to: Doorways - their donation page can be found at: https://www.doorwaysva.org/donate/