Mary Josephine Stearle

Mary Josephine Stearle A loving mother and grandmother, Mary Josephine Stearle was born on February 4, 1926 to Joseph and Mary Csako in Carrollville, Wisconsin (near Milwaukee) and died on January 31, 2005 in Austin, Texas. She was preceded in death by her husband Major Gerald Francis Stearle (April 25, 1931 - April 15, 1998). Survivors include her son, John Michael Stearle; daughter Mary Frances Pinckley and her husband Danny Pinckley, and their children Jennifer Lynn Pinckley and David Allen Pinckley. Mary's family migrated from Hungary to Wisconsin where she was born, then commuted back to Hungary around 1933. Mary returned to America in 1947 and wed Gerald on January 16, 1952. As a military wife, the Stearle family lived in six states - including Austin, Texas in 1969/1970 - as well as Germany, and retired in Austin in 1978. Mary loved children, flowers, travel, and handy work, especially quilting. She had been a member of the Austin Area Quilt Guild for more than 25 years and won ribbons for her handy work in both the California and Texas state fairs. Besides her network of quilters and neighbors, she will be missed by friends who shared their love of Hungarian heritage. The family will receive friends from 7:00 to 9:00 p.m. on Thursday, February 3, 2005 at Weed-Corley-Fish Funeral Home. A Funeral Mass will be held at 10:00 a.m. on Friday, February 4, 2005 at St. Mary’s Cathedral, 203 E. 10th Street. Interment will be held at 1:15 p.m. on Friday, February 4, 2005 at Fort Sam Houston National Cemetery in San Antonio, Texas. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to the American Cancer Society, P.O. Box 149100, Austin, Texas 78714. Memorials and guestbook online at wcfish.com Mary Stearle's Life Story When Mary first saw the pine trees near Bastrop in 1978, she thought it was a miracle that such trees could exist in Texas. He cried because it reminded her of her homeland of Hungary and her family that she loved and missed so dearly. Mary was a Hungarian who was born in Wisconsin after her father moved his family to America for steady work and higher wages than he could find in Hungary. Her father worked in a factory in Carrollville near Milwaukee and Mary and her brother Joseph were born in America. When Mary was two years old, her family moved back to Europe. Her teenage years were difficult because World War II was raging and both the Russian and German armies occupied Hungary. Several times the families crops were destroyed or stolen by soldiers and Mary's mother had to ration food for the children. Since Mary was the oldest daughter in the family of seven, she helped out with cooking and caring for the younger children. Since Mary was an American citizen, her parents sent her to America in 1947 because they thought she would have a better life here. Soon after Mary arrived, the communists took over Hungary and it would be almost 20 years before she would see her beloved family again. She was the only one of her family to escape to America. Mary couldn't speak English and had literally no money when she arrived in Carrollville, Milwaukee so she lived with her grandfather Zrebnyak, her aunt Liz, Liz's husband, and Liz's three sons in a small one bedroom house and Mary was employed as a factory worker. Liz's husband had a niece who was married to Jack Stearle and one afternoon she invited the Stearle's over and Mary met Gerald Stearle. Mary and Gerald dated a few times and corresponded through the mail while he was stationed for the Air Force in California and they married on January 16, 1952 and drove to California in a car that was purchased with money Mary had saved. While in California, she worked in a laundromat and became interested in making pottery and one of Gerald's co-workers thought she had a talent for it, so he entered a piece of her pottery in the California State Fair and she won a ribbon. On January 29, 1953 Mary Frances Stearle was born on Travis Air Force Base in California. In the following years the Stearle's lived in Harlingen and San Antonio, Texas, and Biloxi, Mississippi, then while in Columbus, Ohio they bought their first home and John Stearle was born on October 15, 1961. While Gerald was stationed in the Blue Grass Depot in Kentucky, he and Mary became very active in the church and sent John to Catholic school and they befriended the priest and two of the nuns. Mary was an excellent cook, and often she would contribute food for church events. She was particularly legendary for her potato salad and her spaghetti. She would make the noodles by hand like she learned in the old country. Around that time, Mary became interested in crocheting, cross-stitch, and knitting. A highlight of Mary's life was in 1966 when she and the family visited her family in Europe for three weeks. She brought gifts for each member of her family. Over the years, whenever Mary could afford it, she would send packages and money home and on each subsequent visit she made to Europe, she always brought everyone a gift. In 1967 Gerald was sent to Vietnam for six months and Mary took driving lessons. Her English was still not very good and when the instructor said, "OK, Mrs. Stearle, start the car and put it in reverse," she said, "What's 'reverse'?". That was a challenging time for Mary to raise the family by herself. Mary loved music, especially classical, and she instilled in her children a love for music. She made sure that the family purchased a piano and that her children were given piano lessons and now her son John is a songwriter. While the Stearles lived in Kentucky and Ohio, they would make many trips to visit the Stearle grandparents and Gerald's brother Jack's family, especially for holidays. This was a happy time, particularly for the children because both families had children about the same age. Mary had a particularly close connection with Jack's wife Lori. Once Jack and Lori went on a trip and Mary and Gerald traveled to Milwaukee to take care of Jack and Lori's kids. In 1970, after a year in Shreveport, LA and another six month tour in Vietnam for Gerald, the Stearle's moved to Austin, TX into the house in which they eventually retired. That was a year that the Longhorns won the football National Championship and one of the highlights for the family was attending a football game. In 1971, the Stearles moved to Ramstein, Germany where they lived for two years. During that time, they toured several countries by car and two highlights for Mary were when her brother Joe came to visit from Hungary and when Mary and Mary Frances went home to Hungary for Christmas. This would be the last time that Mary would see her parents, her sister Julia, and her brother Edward. In 1973, the Stearles moved to Abilene, Texas. It was there that Mary met a lady named Mrs. Clevenger and became interested in quilting. Mary Frances left home for college in Arlington, Texas in 1973 and on December 20, 1975 she married Danny Thomas Pinckley. In 1978, Gerald retired from the Air Force as a Major after 29 and a half years and he moved the family back to Austin. While in Austin, Mary's interest in quilting intensified. She joined the Austin Area Quilt Guild as a member of the Dutch Doll Bee and she won a blue ribbon in the Texas State Fair for a pillow cover she sewed. She also subscribed to a Hungarian newspaper and befriended many local immigrants from Hungary. On March 16, 1983, Mary's granddaughter, Jennifer Lynn Pinckley was born. In 1987, Gerald was diagnosed with colon cancer and received successful treatment. On November 21, 1988, Mary's grandson, David Allen Pinckley was born. In 1994 the Stearle's were visited by her brother Joe and his wife Ethel as well as her nephew Joe who was working for GE in Cleveland, OH. Mary spent that Thanksgiving with them in Ohio and it was the last time she would see her brother. On April 15, 1998, Mary's husband Gerald died after 46 years of marriage. After Gerald's death, Mary visited Hungary again in 2001 and began a tradition of Csako family reunions. In 2003, Mary attended the 75th birthday of her brother-in-law, Jack Stearle in Milwaukee and they celebrated with a family reunion in a backyard barbeque reminiscent of the many such barbeques the Stearle family had together in the 1960s. She was also able to visit with her cousin John Cseri with whom she had lived when she first returned to America. In the summer of 2004, Mary returned home to Hungary for what be her last visit. This visit was special because she was joined by her son John as well has her distant Csako cousin Bob and his wife Mavis from Indiana. They attended in the fourth annual Csako family reunion where they drank homemade wine and were entertained by the family band of violin and flute players playing traditional Hungarian folk songs. The Csakos, who are always very fine hosts, pulled out all the stops for the American visitors. Her nephew Joe arranged several enjoyable activities which included a private winery tour and wine tasting conducted by the wine master himself, lunch and dinner in a renovated palace, a cruise on a yacht, and a day trip to Vienna. It was truly an unforgettable experience for Mary. In January, 2005, Mary was diagnosed with t-cell non-Hodgkins lymphoma. This particular kind of lymphoma is very aggressive and very hard to treat. By the time of the diagnosis, Mary was already at stage 3 of the disease. Knowing that the end might be near, Mary put her affairs in order and let her children know her wishes for her funeral arrangements. Mary had been a longtime member of Saint Mary's Catholic Church (beginning in 1969 and continuing when she returned to Austin in 1987) and Mary was particularly excited about the renovations which were completed on the church this January so she wanted her funeral ceremony to be conducted at Saint Mary's. She wanted to buried in San Antonio with her husband Gerald, she wanted "Loving wife and grandmother" on her gravestone, she wanted her friends and family to have "a nice dinner in a restaurant where they can talk about me". She didn't want a party in anyone's house because she didn't want anyone to have to work preparing food or cleaning up. Her final request was that the church bells be rung for her in her hometown in Europe. On Thursday, January 27, Mary received her first chemo treatment. She was already very weak from the disease and very dehydrated because she hadn't been able to eat sold food for almost three weeks. When Mary went in for her chemo booster shot the next day, she was still very dehydrated and weak and her pulse rate was dangerously high, so the doctor checked her into St. David's North Austin Medical center. During her time in the hospital, her son and daughter were almost constantly at her side. Mary was visited by her dear friend Doris Shackleford and multiple times by Michael Cseri - son of her cousin John from Milwaukee with whom she lived in the little house in Carrollville in 1947. Michael brought her a Mozart CD which Mary particularly loved and listened to on Sunday when she made a comment about how much she loved the music and how she felt she was getting better. On Monday, the doctors determined that Mary needed kidney dialysis because her kidney was only functioning at about ten percent, but Mary's blood pressure was too low for the dialysis. She was on oxygen and breathing very hard and almost unable to speak. At 3:04PM with Mozart playing and her children at her side, Mary died. At that same time, Mary's niece, Sharon Pociask, was hanging quilts that Mary had given her with her husband Alex in her new home near Chicago. Sharon was planning to come visit Aunt Mary the next week. She had become interested in quilting because of Mary and they had faithfully exchanged Christmas gifts for more than 20 years. Mary's favorite song written by her son is about a caterpillar who weaves a silken gown, then awakes as a butterfly. During the past few days, Mary's friends and relatives have been very dear to her family, providing food and loving support. A few have mentioned how much Mary's creativity has influenced their lives and how her sewing works of art have made it into their homes as part of the many gifts Mary has given with those around her. So Mary has been like the caterpillar, weaving her way into peoples' hearts. Before her death, on the way to her hospital appointment, Mary told her son about her concept of heaven. She said there would be a huge rose garden and she would be there with her family. Now Mary is like a beautiful, quilt-like, butterfly in that rose garden.