The last time I saw Deborah, during a family visit to LA in 2018. Here we are, goofing off on the bus. 

For me, she was just always going to be there - a constant in my life. Sure, we usually lived on different continents (our time in Madrid and her 6 month stint in Germany excepted) and communication came to a still stand in between visits, but then time also seemed to stand still. Seeing her again, it was always as if no time had passed at all. So I reached out this year while planning my next trip to California. After the email bounced, I starting investigating and it didn't take long to find the news of her death. I am shocked and just so incredibly sad. The world feels a bit emptier knowing that she is no longer in it. Deborah, Flo and I miss you to pieces.

Again, Deborah in Madrid in 2004 with some of her most typical expressions. She was so carefree, effervescent and downright silly most of the time - god I'll miss that...

These two are of Deborah back in 2004, during and after our Teaching English as a Second Language courses in Madrid. This is where I first met her and we became immediate friends. She must have been at Florian and my apartment at least 4 days a week. She is just so intertwined with the defining moments of my adult life, having been there when Florian and I became a couple and when we got married 11 years later.

Deborah engaged in a very serious discussion with my little cousin at my wedding (Romrod, Germany, 2015). Looking back, this was perhaps the only time I ever saw her with makeup ;-)

I first met Milam on our first day of the Police Academy. All the women in the locker room, almost everyone was rushing around trying to be perfect for our first appearance into the Law Enforcement world in California. I remember seeing Milam, calmly standing, even lending a hand to some, and awaiting our fate...however grueling it would be. She never broke. She constantly gave her best efforts. 
We grew to become running partners, she’d ask how fast I’d like to run,  my goal time..and decide to run with me, effortlessly. She would push me to stay true to my goal...and would even keep conversation with me during those runs. Every single one. Although I’d become decently tired and struggle to talk, she’d push me...until the last leg of our final lap. She’d easily take off ahead of me, to finish strong. Even in those moments I was so grateful for her, pushing me to catch her. She was special in that way, she was incredibly motivating, modest, and truly a kind soul. I’ll never forget feeling welcomed with every conversation, running or otherwise. She was so strong and determined. 
I’ll never forget her. The loss is extreme for anyone who knew her, and I’m grateful in being even a small part of her journey through life. Rest easy my friend, enjoy the view and keep looking out for those who love you.  
With Love, 
Ashley “Tush” Tuschling 

On behalf of the Vasquez: June Vasquez, Celia and Mike Vasquez,  Rachel Rohr, and Michael Vasquez, Jr.

Our deepest sympathy to all of you.  We know there are no words.  Just know that we are here for your family as you have always been ;here for ours.


Sending our sincere condolences for your loss.
We were so looking forward to Will and Deborah’s marriage over the Christmas holidays. 

Deborah was already a part of our family, but it was really going to be an exciting time to make it official. We were very impressed with her and had such hopes and dreams for Will and her.  It is an honor to have been a part of her life. 

We are in shock and profoundly grief stricken.  Please know that you are not grieving alone, and also know that there are others who understand that the world has suffered a great loss at her departure. It was much too soon. 

We will forever be a part of that tapestry of life that Deborah has woven and to which we are all connected. She has brought light into our lives and that light will forever illuminate our hearts with our memories of her. 

We were with you at her service online and regret that we could not have been there in person. 

Bill and Ann Bratberg, Will’s grandparents 

Bob, Penny, Kathy, Will, and all within Debbie's circle of love...you continue in my heart and prayers.

So saddened by the loss.  Sending Kathy, Aunt Penny and Uncle Bob my love and condolences for the loss.  

Please accept my deepest sympathy. Debbie was such a kind person, she will be deeply missed.

Penny, Bob and Kathy,
Sending my sincere condolences, love, hugs,  and prayers to you. Cherish your memories.
Love you.
Ptrc

I can't believe that you are physically gone. I remember so many church youth group gatherings, debates about science and religion (You're physics and I'm metaphysics, I know)--you were never shy about sharing your opinion. I remember seeing the original The Lion King in the theater with you and Kathy and my brother and then later us seeing Seven together in the theatre (sorry for the nm). You brought genuine care, curiosity and a fight for what is right with you wherever you went. You had so many dreams, so many talents. I am glad that you found your calling with the SDPD. The uniform suits you. You could truly be yourself. May God grant rest to your soul.  I look forward to debating with you in the new life that you are just starting. You have gone from us too soon. Yours is the light that breaks forth from the dark, and the good that sprouts from the cleft heart of strife. Yours is the house that opens upon the world, and the love that calls to the battlefield. Yours is the gift that still is a gain when everything is a loss, and the life that flows through the caverns of death. Yours is the heaven that lies in the common dust, and you are there for me, you are there for all.   Deb, now is your time to gather fruit. Much love and in deepest sympathy, Matt, Caroline and Katelyn Lindshield

AVIS DE DÉCÈS

Deborah Milam

20 juillet 1979 – 18 novembre 2020

Glen Abbey Memorial Park & Mortuary

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