Lilia Romero Nepomuceno

On May 10, 1934, Lilia del Rosario Romero (Mom) was born to Perfecto Capulong Romero and Felisa Bernal del Rosario Romero as the 5th child (and 4th daughter) of the family. Following the birth of the next few sisters, it was apparent the growing family did not have the resources to support so many children in their house in Cavite City, Philippines. So Mom was sent to live with a nearby auntie and uncle. Eventually she caught the attention of a neighborhood boy by the name of Eugenio (Heny) Nocon Nepomuceno (Dad), and he began courting her. She married the love of her life on December 14, 1958.

Being a Navy man, he eventually brought his new bride to the United States, specifically San Francisco, CA. While Dad was overseas serving his new country, Mom lived with the family of Dad’s cousins, where she got better at speaking and reading English, honed her cooking skills, practiced spelling her new last name, and got some training at being a mom by helping Tia Charing take care of the younger children. That training was put into action on December of 1963, when Mom and Dad had their first son, Eugene (Gene). Shortly afterward, Dad was stationed in San Diego, and after moving to SoCal, their family quickly filled to a quintet with the births of Michael (Mike) in February of 1965 and Ronald (Ron) in June of 1966. The relocation to San Diego was just the beginning of the traveling life for this Navy family. Next came Hawaii, the PI, back to Hawaii, back to the PI, back again to Hawaii, then a return to San Diego. For the next move, we drove over the northern and eastern states to get to Key West, FL, then 2 years later, drove back via the southern states to SoCal again. Mom put her foot down when a couple of years later, Dad was going to move the family once again, with what we’re sure was the Tagalog equivalent of, “Oh, heck to the no!”

So it was in Chula Vista where Dad retired from the Navy and they raised their three boys, two dogs, and a house full of Mom's plants, all the while telling us they would return to the PI when we finished school. But after we all graduated high school, they were still here. After we graduated college, they were still here. After Ron finished graduate school, they were still here. Turns out, leaving all their friends, reliable plumbing and electricity, weekend trips to Las Vegas, and eventually the local casinos, was too much to give up to go back “home”. So they stayed, playing cards and mahjong on Saturday “mani-mani” nights, or going to the CPO club for dancing, and occasionally traveling abroad with their friends. In the 1980s, Mom finally got the daughters she didn't have via two marriages: Gene to the former Martha Galaz, and Mike to the former Diane Herrera. The birth of their first grandchild, Ashley, to Mike and Diane in July of 1989 sealed the deal that Mom and Dad would never move back to the PI. This was reinforced by the births of Dominic to Gene and Martha in May of 1990, and Ashley’s little sister, Lauren Nicole (Nikki) in October of 1993. Mom loved being a grandma. She had kids to babysit and cook for again. She could take them shopping and kidnap them to the casino when they were older. Most important, she could heap on them all the love that naturally flowed from her. After the grandkids started attending school, nearly daily visits to Viejas Casino became their regular routine, racking up players points to increase their V Club status to Platinum. Dad loved poker, while Mom was a blackjack expert and slot machine pro.

Sadly, in January of 2009, after over 50 years of marriage, Mom lost the love of her life when Dad succumbed to the mesothelioma cancer he was diagnosed with just 4 months prior, shortly after their last cruise vacation. Just one month later, we received more devastating news that Mom had colon cancer. But surgery, chemotherapy, prayers, and a little luck gave us much more time with her than we had with Dad. Mom loved to travel, cruising in particular, and she eagerly wanted to share those travel experiences with her family, since Dad couldn't be her traveling companion anymore. In December of the year Dad passed, she generously took all of us on a cruise of the southern Caribbean. It was a Christmas vacation filled with great food, sightseeing, shopping, a hilarious "cruise ship gift shop" gift exchange, nearly missing getting back on the boat, and other precious memories.

Unfortunately, her cancer returned in 2013 and treatment visits to the hospital became regular occurrences. “These are my three boys – I never worked, I just raised them!” Mom beamed with pride at the hospital when we first met Dr. Minter, her oncologist, and the many wonderful staff members committed to making Mom’s quality of life better. She liked Dr. Minter. He had a gentle bedside manner, and sincerely smiled while listening intently as Mom talked about her three boys. With weekly treatments spanning over a year, she became friends with the nurses, corpsmen, and staff of the Ambulatory Infusion Center (AIC). Again, Mom beamed - “I raised three good boys…” and talked about us as the AIC staff also listened patiently. In keeping with her generous nature, she would bring fruit (and other less healthy snacks) for Dr. Minter and the AIC staff almost every week. At each family meeting Dr. Minter would ask Mom how she was feeling, and her response would often bring another smile to his face. If Mom was scared, she tried not to show it. She didn’t really understand much of the medical jargon that we discussed, and would agree to whatever we felt was in her best interest. She trusted us and knew we’d look out for her, just as she did for us all of those years ago. She never seemed to worry about the road ahead when it came to the cancer, as long as she could still go to the casino, or travel, or take care of her plants at home. She was just happy that her three boys were there for her.

Undaunted by the return of her cancer, she wanted to take her family on yet another cruise while she was still healthy enough to enjoy it. So in June of 2014, all 9 of us boarded the cruise ship Liberty of the Seas for a tour of the western Mediterranean (Spain, France, and Italy), followed by an additional 4 days of sightseeing and copious amounts of gelato, pizza, and pasta in Rome. The tons of cherished memories generated on that vacation will be remembered dearly by each of us for the rest of our lives. Thanks, Mom! Late in 2014, we found out her cancer was no longer responding to the last viable treatment she was taking. It was now just a matter of time. Fighting on, and despite growing weaker, she was still able to make one last vacation trip in March of 2015 with Gene and Martha to visit Dominic during his studies in Japan. She loved that trip, saying how "beautiful and clean" that country is. She then celebrated her 81st birthday with her friends and family at her favorite Chinese restaurant just a few short weeks ago. At about 2:30 in the morning of May 27, 2015, Mom peacefully passed away in her own bed, surrounded by her family, and with a very content, almost smiling, look on her face. She never really recovered from losing Dad six years ago, so one comfort we can take in losing her is that she is finally, joyfully, reunited with her beloved Heny.