Melanie Ann Mayer

Melanie was born on August 9, 1976 in Chula Vista, California to Rogelio Valdez Duron and Melani Mary Duron (nee Sumaya). She weighed 8 lbs and was 20 inches in length. She was the second child to Rogelio and Melani, who had brought Roy Benjamin Duron into the world six and a half years earlier.

Melanie had a happy childhood. She attended Tiffany Elementary school, and developed life-long friendships with many.

After Tiffany, Melanie went to Bonita Vista Junior High School. Melanie held fond memories of playing kick the can and freeze tag in the street out in from of her house in the summer months. From around age 8 to 11, she would spend time with her cousins in Calexico during summers.

Around this same time, there were yearly family trips to Tucson at Easter to visit family. Great food, kite flying, and Melanie and her cousin Melanie Rose being dressed up in identical Easter dresses were the traditions.

Melanie adored her big brother. Though a six and a half year difference often distances children on an emotional level, Roy and Melanie were extremely close throughout their lives. She would often say that she had the best big brother, EVER!

Melanie also had a very close relationship with her parents. She so looked forward to loved spending time with her parents, especially the breakfasts with her parents where she and Roy were the only allowed guests. These family breakfasts meant so much to her.

Melanie went to Marian Catholic high school where she made numerous friends that she keeps up with to this day. She switched to Bonita Vista High School for one year and she easily made friends with everyone. She returned to Marian and graduated in 1994. Melanie was the definition of an extrovert. She longed for social settings where she could meet new people and laugh with old and new friends. Always an optimist, she always saw the glass as half full.

Melanie loved her family trips to the beach house on Memorial Day Weekend. In her childhood, she would often bring friends along on these trips, and this tradition continued with her children later. She often spoke so fondly of her memories of these vacations. Melanie loved to shop. This is not most women’s love of shopping. She REALLY loved to shop. If shopping were an Olympic sport, Michael Phelp’s records would have paled in comparison.

Melanie gave birth to her daughter Cassandra Monique Duron on November 14, 1992. Cassandra was the light of Melanie’s life and she put great effort into raising her to be a polite, respectful girl, and she was. Cassandra has blossomed into a strong, beautiful, young woman, and Melanie was so proud of her.

Melanie met her husband Andrew at a barbeque her brother was throwing at her parent’s house. Andrew was a new Border Patrol Agent who was an academy classmate of Melanie’s brother. Melanie and Andrew met on March 14, 1998, and were married a short three and a half months later on June 28, 1998. Andrew fondly remembers spending his honeymoon painting Cassandra’s room in their apartment because Melanie so wanted her to be comfortable in the room when she moved in. Melanie would do anything for her girls.

Melanie and Andrew bought their first house in Imperial Beach. During their two and a half years here, Melanie gave birth to their daughter Christina. Christina, unlike Cassandra, was a bit of a handful when she was an infant. She was the definition of “terrible twos”, but has also blossomed into a dignified young teen.

Their second house was an upgrade to a new house in Eastlake. They lived here for about three years before Melanie and Andrew decided it was time for a change. They decided that Spokane, Washington was the place to be. They put the house on the market, and Melanie and the girls went to Spokane on the assumption that Andrew would be able get a transfer to Washington. After six months, Andrew resorted to putting in for jobs all across the northern border. After another six months, Andrew had a job in Vermont, and the family re-united with him there. The northern border did not agree with Melanie, and after just over a year, Melanie decided that the snow and cold weren’t for her. This was also when her battle with mental illness started in earnest. In December of 2006, she and the girls returned to California. Andrew was able to get a remarkably quick transfer back to California, and the family was again re-united.

Melanie and the family lived in a condominium for a few years while the housing marked crumbled. In 2009, they were able to get back into the housing market, and bought what Melanie called her “little casita”. She loved her little house, with the exception of the tiny kitchen, but even this she was able to endure. Andrew was tasked by Melanie with a long list of things that needed to be done to the house, and he diligently has made his way through the list. Melanie was proud of her little house and found solace and comfort in its walls.

Andrew and Melanie enjoyed raising their girls and their pets, currently three dogs and a roaming cat. They shared a love for several television shows. Some of these shows were designated as “strictly to be watched together”. They enjoyed discussions of the plot lines and excitement over big turns of events.

Melanie worked in several, diverse jobs in her life. She worked in an auto body shop, in a suit store, for a tax preparer, and most recently, as a coffee barista. These jobs, especially during her marriage, were not careers, but were to help out the family with the budget. Her career was that of a wife and mother, and at these she excelled. Andrew and the girls always knew that Melanie loved them with all her heart. Melanie wore her heart on her sleeve, and showed emotion easily. She was the life and light of any gathering. It would be very hard to find a person that didn’t like or love Melanie. She had a loud, some say cackling, laugh that would make everyone around her smile or laugh themselves. Andrew and the girls would often here her rolling in laughter and would have to go see what show she was watching that was affecting her so. Her laughter and joy of life was infectious.

The girls remember her singing lullabies to them when they had headaches. They remember the booming “Daddy’s home!!!”, from Melanie, every time Andrew would come home from work. There was a recently running joke with Cassandra and her friends that Melanie was old. Jokes about her age were fun and enjoyed, even by Melanie, who took the jokes with a sense of humor, though she acted angry and annoyed.

Unfortunately, Melanie’s joy and love of life were countered by inner demons. She battled mental illness, depression, and changing diagnoses for years. For some of you, this may be a shock and a surprise, as you may have only seen Melanie when she was in a good mood. And when she was in a good mood, she was really in a good mood. However, the lows were sometimes really low. She is at peace from these torments now. She is free of self-loathing and self-hatred. These thoughts she had were not Melanie. These were the mental illnesses that assailed her. The true Melanie, the one we all loved, is the one with the beaming smile, the howling laugh, the aura of levity and fun. This is the Melanie we want all of you to remember. This is the memory she would want you all to remember. She hated the problems she battled, she simply wanted to be loved and live her life without pain. She was a deeply loving person who cared for everyone she met. She was a champion for the underdog, and a despiser of bullies and cruel people. Melanie was also generous to a fault. If you needed something, she was there for you.

Melanie loved her children, and her surrogate children, both real and “adopted”. Melanie was called “Mom” by most of Cassandra’s friends, and she took this role seriously. She wanted to guide and direct these young adults and tried to help them in any way she could. Discussions and instruction in make-up, fashion, and just life were normal occurrences. Melanie was a surrogate mother for an Australian couple, giving birth to Samuel Rifici in 2000. This Australian family has become life-long friends to the Mayer family, and Melanie loved them deeply. Melanie was so proud and honored to help this amazing couple realize their dream of starting a family.

Melanie will be most remembered by her greatest legacy, her beautiful girls. Melanie’s legacy will be evident in these two beautiful girls, and any who interact with them will see Melanie through them.

Melanie would never have left us if she had thought even for a second the pain we would all feel for her loss. Melanie would have endured agonizing pain herself to save others from pain.

Melanie was beautiful in every way. She was physically beautiful, and she had a beautiful soul. She left a lasting impression on all of us, and we will all miss her dearly. Remember the beaming smile that lit up a room and the kind-hearted soul who was always there to help and comfort someone who was hurting. Her family wants you to remember Melanie not for how she left us, but for how she lived and loved while she was with us.