Milagros C. Marquinez

Milagros “Mila” Julia Carbonell Calubaquib Marquinez was the youngest of 11 children, born in Tuguegarao, Cagayan, Philippines in the summer of 1933. When she was about 8 years-old, World War II came to the Philippines, and the turmoil of war took up a good portion of her childhood. She and her family were displaced her from their home, losing many of their belongings, and causing them to live in hiding at times. But it did not deter her from doing well in school once it resumed. She excelled in her studies, and even skipped a grade. Resilient.

Determined, driven, intelligent, independent, ambitious. These are other words that many would use to describe her. In the 1950s, Mila graduated with a degree in medicine from the University of Santo Tomas -- the oldest university in Asia. She did her residency in Chicago, and completed her training in Buffalo, NY. Let that sink in for a minute. She was a Filipino woman. In the 1950s. And she became a doctor. The doctors and nurses who cared for her in the last weeks of her life were in awe of her, calling her “amazing”, “a pioneer”, and “ahead of her time”.

She met Jose “Joe” Marquinez through her best friend, Zenaida Batol, who also happened to be his cousin. The first time they met was at a party in the Philippines. They met a second time a few years later at a family party in New York. He was immediately smitten. She, not so much. At least not at first.

Their relationship blossomed through letters and meetings over time, and at some point Joe proposed (he would have you think it was the other way around, and Mila would be quick to correct it). They married on June 30, 1962 in Inglewood, CA, and honeymooned at Disneyland. Ever the stylish woman, Mila wore a dress and high heels throughout the famous theme park. Resilient.

With Joe being in the US Navy, they spent the early years of their marriage living in Japan, Tennessee, and Georgia. Seven years later in Florida, they welcomed the birth of their only child, a daughter named Gina. They spent a few years in Oak Harbor, Washington, and then moved to San Diego -- in the small community of Bonita. They remained there until Joe passed away in 2011. They were married for 49 years.

Adventurous, social, talkative, fun-loving, and vibrant. These are more words that many would use to describe Mila. When she moved to Northern California to live with her daughter and family, she showed us what resilient really means. She left her home of over 30 years, to live in a new place, and make new friends. She made many new friends in the last three years, entertaining them with her lively chatter. She had stories to tell, and tell them she did!

Mila showed us what being an octogenarian meant. At over 80 years-old, she was very much young at heart. In her later years, she abandoned adult fiction (“They’re so boring!” she would say), and enjoyed reading middle grade and young adult literature, becoming a huge fan of the Harry Potter series, The Hunger Games, Divergent, Ender’s Game, and Legend. She enjoyed playing games like Settlers of Catan and Ticket to Ride. And if some of you aren’t familiar with any of these titles, Mila would most definitely encourage you to give it a try.

Brave, stylish, devoted, strong, selfless, and loving. These are yet more words that can be used to remember her by. She loved God, and was devout in praying the rosary daily. She loved people, but most of all she loved and was deeply devoted to her family -- immediate and extended. She talked with her many nieces and nephews on a regular basis -- they talked as though they were right there next to each other. She was really the glue that connected the Calubaquib family together.

Howard, Gina, Madeline, and Kyle consider themselves blessed to have had her live with them for the past 3 years. They were their own little “Party of 5”, and made many new family memories together. Disneyland, Roaring Camp Railroad, Santa Cruz, almost weekly lunches at California Pizza Kitchen, and home-grown fruits and vegetables from their backyard garden. She savored every moment of watching her two grandchildren grow up. They brought her joy and laughter everyday -- even when she was in pain. She enjoyed talking about clothes, hair, nails, and gymnastics with her granddaughter, and enjoyed watching her grandson play video games, build Legos, talk, and eat macaroni and cheese. She was proud of them both, proud and amazed at how smart and thoughtful they had become. Care and concern for the well-being of her family weighed heavily on her heart and mind. In the last 3 years, she also learned how to be taken care of, instead of always being the one doing the caring -- though she continued to do that, too. Resilient.

Mila was tough. She worked hard, pushed herself to the limit, and lived vibrantly in spite of her pain. The last year was especially tough for her because she spent much of it in pain and frustration. She had hoped that surgery could restore her to the strong, independent, and vibrant person she was used to being. And we had all looked forward to seeing her walk again, and pain free. Unexpected complications during her recovery prevented that dream from being realized, and we were all shocked. In the end, Mila passed as she had lived -- with a heart that beat as strong as it could for as long as it could, and completely surrounded by all our love.

We are devastated to have lost her. She has left an enormous hole in our lives that no one can ever replace. There is no one like mom. No one like grandma. No one like Auntie Mila. No one.

Yet, we know that through her life, she has left us an example to follow. In her lifetime, she lost loved ones too -- father, mother, brothers, sisters, cousins, nieces and nephews, friends, and most recently her husband -- and yet she pressed on, living and loving. Resilient. We honor her life and memory by being resilient, too.

Milagros Calubaquib Marquinez was a beloved wife/widow, a fiercely devoted mother and grandmother, a sister, cousin, aunt, and friend. She lives on in our hearts, and we carry her love and memory with us always.