My name is Shirley and I am Dad’s second daughter.

How do I put into words what my father meant to me? The words would fill volumes and the love would fill an ocean. So, I will try to keep it brief and give you a glimpse of what Dad meant to me.

I did not meet my father until I was seven years old. Back then, men from China had to overcome many obstacles in order to come to “Gold Mountain.” Dad had to leave his young wife, infant daughter, and mother behind in China so that he could join my Grandfather in Canada, with the dream of making a living and sending financial support to the family. Dad somehow managed to learn English without having ever spoken it while in China. He learned it so well that he ended up attending McGill University. Keeping up with his university studies was a challenge because he had to help my Grandfather at the laundromat. As one family friend told me, Dad would hold a text book in one hand and an iron in the other. Not working was not an option so Dad had to give up his dreams of becoming an engineer. Finally, Dad earned enough money to visit his family but because of immigration restrictions, his family, including me, could not immigrate to Canada until eight years later.
My Dad wore many hats.

Dad was an avid gamester. I still remember the late 70’s and early 80’s when Mom and Dad hosted anywhere from eight to ten tables of mah jong on New Year’s Eve. Throughout the day, guests feasted on delicious dishes prepared by Mom and Grandma, and we made gallons of Chinese tea. Up until we lost Mom, Stan and I played mah jong with her and Dad during every visit. Dad was the one who taught me how to play Russian Poker, a game that he and I enjoyed from my high school days until only two months before he passed away. Even well into his 90’s, he routinely beat Stan and me hands down.

Dad loved the outdoors. Before we all joined him in Canada, he went fishing anytime that he had a couple of hours to spare. After we reunited as a family, Dad took advantage of Sundays to bring his young son and mother to Queen E Park. You would think that a man who worked six days a week – often 12-14 hours a day, would sit at home to relax on his day off but he gladly used his day off to make it a fun day for his family members. After Dad got out of the grocery store business and got a job with more regular hours, he loved to bring Grandma and me to Point Roberts. While Grandma and I dug for geoduck, Dad skillfully navigated steep inclines to get down to the crab colony. It became such a regular outing that we sometimes invited friends to join us.

Dad was a great teacher. I still remember how he used to take me to Oakridge Mall on Sundays because I was taking driving lessons on an automatic car but I needed to learn how to drive our Datsun 510 which was a standard shift. One day, he took me onto King Edward Street heading east and I had to stop at the red light which was on an incline. I was terrified because I worried that if I let the clutch go too early, I would slide backwards. Dad very calmly reassured me that I was ready. With his encouragement and gentle guidance, I actually managed to drive forward without any slippage which was super important because there was a car right behind us.

Dad had a great sense of humour too. His favourite saying was “The jook is on you” with the word “jook” referring to congee. Then he would flash his brilliant smile and look at you with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

Dad was witty and had a way with language. He provided me with a name I treasure. For my entire childhood, I thought that my name meant winter rose which made no sense because I was born in the spring. It was only later in life that Dad and Mom explained to me that he had named me after the winter plum blossom because of its reference to strength, moral integrity, and resilience. The winter plum blossom survives the harshest winters because it is strong. It was Dad’s way of instilling in me the will to always stay strong and never give up, even in the face of adversity. That was one of his greatest gift to me.

Dad was an avid hockey fan and was always loyal to the Montreal Canadiens which is why I grew up knowing about Guy Lafleur, Ken Dryden, Jean Beliveau, and others. He enjoyed watching other sports too but hockey was always his favourite. Dad and Mom loved playing badminton; in fact, until he had knee problems, they played every weekday with their friends.

Dad was an awesome cook too and his skills only improved when he retired and had more time to make delicious meals for his family. He and Mom always packed leftovers for us and claimed they had made too much food but we knew they did that on purpose to help us navigate busy schedules. When he was at our house during COVID, he happily helped make bbq pork buns, dumplings, and wonton. Those arthritic fingers never lost their magic touch.

Dad was an avid gardener and had a flourishing garden which he tended with Grandma and Mom. Even though he did not garden anymore in recent years, he always enjoyed going to our community garden to admire our vegetable plots, give us tips, and even help water the plants.

Dad was a very generous man. Even though he and Mom had to work hard to support our family, they regularly sent money to help out family in China. One of their proudest moments was when the residents of their home village completed the building of a well funded by Mom and Dad.

Dad learned everything under the sun just because he had an insatiable thirst for learning. When my Mom worried about letting me study in an immersion course in Montreal after finishing high school, Dad convinced her that I should go so that I wouldn’t be like the frog in the well whose limited view would not allow him to see the rest of the world. Thank goodness he supported my efforts to do the programme because that’s where I met my life partner, the love of my life. Throughout my university years, Dad was supportive in every way possible. Even when I wasn’t sure what path I wanted to follow, he reassured me that it would all work out and that I would find my path if I gave myself a chance. I am forever grateful that he instilled in me the love for learning and that Stan and I were able to pass that passion for learning onto our daughters. When I graduated from UBC it felt like Dad graduated with me because he had been so supportive during my entire journey. Because of Dad’s passion for learning, his dedication to learning about Chinese migration and preserving Chinese culture in Vancouver, and his and Mom’s generous nature, Stan and I established a bursary for UBC students studying Asian Canadian migration studies in his and Mom’s names. I am just grateful that he was cognizant of the details before he became ill as it made him so happy to know that deserving students will be helped by their bursary.

Dad taught me many valuable life lessons.

One of Dad’s most valuable life lessons was to love people we care about all the time, not just on their birthdays or special holidays. In other words, he felt that if you love and appreciate someone, don’t wait to tell them because the sooner you let them know, the sooner they can feel your love. When Dad passed away, I was heart-broken but I take comfort in the fact that I never waited until the final hour to thank him for all that he and Mom and our grandparents had done for us, to let him know what a difference he made not just in my life but in the lives of our children, grandchildren, and future generations.

Another one of Dad’s life lessons was to be proud of our heritage and humble background because it’s important to be true to ourselves. Someone asked me recently how I want to be remembered and I thought to myself that I want to be remembered as someone who tried her best to be happy and to make others happy. I want to be remembered as someone who came from a humble background, but because of countless sacrifices by my parents and grandparents, have the kind of life they could only have dreamed of having.

Dad never told us we had to work hard. While some people dreaded working overtime, my Dad reveled in the opportunity to get paid overtime on weekends and holidays, no matter how tired he was already. He taught us about having a strong work ethic by working hard himself.

I have tried to follow his guidelines to the best of my abilities.

Dad wasn’t just a loving father to me. He was a loving father-in-law to Stan. They shared many good times and many laughs, eating, playing mah jong, playing cards, discussing sports. Dad’s immeasurable love extended to our daughters, Nicola and Katina. Dad always tried to think of special treats for our daughters and came to support them at all their major milestones. I am so thankful for all their efforts to see Dad whenever they could, despite busy schedules and other challenges. Our daughters are so blessed to have had such a loving grandfather for so many years. Dad welcomed with open arms our sons-in-law, Doug and Mat and always asked about them when we visited with him. Our little granddaughter Sage could make Dad grin without even trying. Every time he saw her, he would just beam and his eyes twinkled. She was very gentle and loving with him too. Although he did not get to meet his newest great-grandson Olivier, he was aware of a baby on the way and I am pretty sure I saw him twinkle when I told Dad the baby would bear part of his Chinese name.

I pray that Dad is finally reunited with Mom, Grandma and Grandpa. I’d like to think that Dad is running back and forth on a badminton court with some of his old friends, and playing a great game of Russian poker.

In closing, I am grateful to all the staff at St. Vincent’s Langara who took such good care of Dad the past year and a bit. I thank not only the nursing staff, but also the care aides, kitchen staff, and countless others who always had a friendly smile for Dad and the other residents.

Thank you to all our friends and family who supported us with their kindness and messages of love.

I would also like to thank Kit and Jim, and their families for supporting Dad, particularly the past couple of years.

Dad, your spirit will live on in your children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and generations to come. Thanks to your selfless sacrifices, bravery, and work ethic, we are living the kind of life that you could only dream of as a child. Rest assured that my family and I will safeguard all that you worked so hard to provide for us.

I will miss you every single day until we meet again, Dad.

St. Vincent's Langara's team is sending condolences to the family of Mr. Ken Tow Yue who was our resident for 1 year and several months. We knew him as a very nice and gentle person, and it was an honor and pleasure to provide care for him. He will be remembered and missed by his care team.

Our heartfelt condolences to the family.   May the happy memories of your dad give you comfort during this difficult time.
Rest in Peace uncle Ken.

In the short time that I've known Mr. Yue, I can attest that he was loved by many others by the way his family shows up for him. He was a very gentle person, a kind man of quiet presence. Ken was a pleasure to be around. He will be missed dearly.

Kit, Shirley and Jim,

Sending you, the grandkids and great-grandkids our deepest condolences, thoughts, and energy at this time.

Your dad had such a wonderful sense of humour and our dad often said he was lucky to have a cousin with whom he got along so well. Your mom, equally as humourous and who is now once again reunited with your dad, often told us the story about how your parents introduced our mom and dad to each other, and how their initial date together would eventually lead to marriage and an incredible life in Canada only a province next door. When our dad passed, your parents were of course among the first we contacted in preparing our dad's eulogy.

It was always a special highlight for everyone seeing your dad (and mom) whenever we were in Vancouver. 

Take good care. 

- Kenda & Donna

AVIS DE DÉCÈS

Ken Tow Yue

18 juin 1933 – 25 janvier 2025

Ocean View Funeral Home & Burial Park

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