Kenneth James Sylvester

Kenneth James Sylvester (Ken) passed away suddenly on May 25, 2025 from a massive stroke. He was 77 years old. Ken was at home in Colorado Springs at the time with his wife of 36 years, Mary Ann Kluge.

Ken was born in Portland OR. September 20, 1947, to Adeline (Brown) and Clyde Sylvester. Ken had half-brother, Doug, 6 ½ years his senior, now deceased as well. He attended Centennial High School in Gresham, OR. (graduating in 1965) and college at Pacific University Forest Grove, OR. (graduating in 1969).

Many who knew Ken have heard his stories about his life experiences. Ken never imposed his thinking on others but rather, told stories to make a connection and, for many listeners, served as a “perspective-building” opportunity. These stories and the lessons learned (often referred to as “Sylvesterisms”) were often also sprinkled with humor. Here are a few.

When Ken was 5, his family moved to Guam for his father’s continued service in the Navy. Ken grew up cracking coconuts and swimming in the ocean with his older brother as “chaperone” and collecting hens eggs every morning for breakfast and warding off “big scary” bugs in the family’s Quonset hut. But it was a life changing event that occurred one morning when his father, brother and he were in his dad’s jeep that in many ways prepared Ken for his career in negotiations. On their way for the boys to be dropped off for a day at the ocean, a Japanese soldier who didn’t know the war was over, fired at them. His dad had to draw his gun and shoot the man dead. For Ken, the lesson learned was life changing. He learned that sometimes life (and death) are “beyond negotiation.”

When the family moved back to Portland and Ken started the 3rd grade, it was clear that he was different than other kids. Missing kindergarten, 1st and 2nd grade in Guam, he had missed some critical educational building blocks (e.g. classification skills) and had turned almost black which resulted in ridicule and bullying by other kids at his all-White school. However, not classifying information as a “go-to” while listening to arguments ended up being a strength as did being bullied by kids. Ken never got boxed into one point of view but rather advocated a “circle of perspective” when gathering information needed for negotiation and he learned to be tough but also empathic toward others who were marginalized or bullied in workplace settings.

Other profound life lessons were through sports competition. Ken was always “into sports.” He played football, basketball and baseball in high school and college, but it was baseball that earned him an athletic scholarship to Pacific University (PU) in Forest Grove, OR. where he was coached by the legendary Chuck Buferro. In what might be characterized as a “push-pull” environment created by Coach Buferro at that time, Ken learned some important attributes of an effective negotiator: self-control, depersonalization, and coping with imperfection. While at PU, Ken also learned about team competence. In 1968 PU won the PNW conference championship. This achievement for Ken and his teammates was a big deal. Over the years the guys comprising this team met periodically for reunions and in fact, just this this past April 2025, Ken and Mary Ann flew to Portland to gather with those remaining -- a real “gift” for Ken before he passed.

Early adult life: After graduating from college, Ken assumed leadership positions in Campus Crusade for Christ (known these days as CRU) and pursued a Masters’ degree in Theology. However, after carefully considering going into the ministry, life led him in a different direction and although the transition was rough at times, to this day, many people from that period of time still consider Ken “friend” and hold a special place in their hearts and minds for him.

Next phase: Ken met Mary Ann Kluge, “the love of his life” as he told everyone who would listen, 😊 while coaching basketball at Pacific Lutheran University (PLU). At the time, Ken was pursuing his Master’s degree in Organizational Systems, which he completed in 1988. They married in 1989 and continued coaching together until 1995 when Ken’s business career and goals toward completing his doctorate demanded more attention. The years Ken and Mary Ann coached together were some of the best life experiences Ken would recall. Combining their unique personalities and skill sets, as a team, and with the added assistance of numerous other loyal and devoted assistant coaches, Ken and Mary Ann enjoyed supporting the Women Lutes’ growth and development both on and off the court which, to this day, has resulted in meaningful and purposeful relationships that have been precious to many former players and to Ken and Mary Ann alike.

A life-long learner, while coaching at PLU, Ken started his doctoral studies at Seattle University, completing his degree in Educational Leadership in 1998, while simultaneously launching his own very successful leadership training and negotiation business called Organizational Strategies Institute. Over time Ken became sought after by organizations such as Microsoft, Boeing, Google, Starbucks, Apple, the NCAA, NBA and NFL, to name a few; organizations that sent him all over the globe to teach negotiation strategies to various management groups, corporate leadership and to assist in international negotiations such as mergers and acquisitions. Ken’s earlier life experiences, his ongoing pursuit of higher education, and his courage to ask insightful questions of highly accomplished business people fueled his business success.

Last phase: Upon moving to Colorado Springs CO. in 2002 for Mary Ann to assume a teaching position at the University of Colorado, Colorado Springs (UCCS), Ken shifted his focus from international travel to teaching, approaching College of Business leadership at UCCS to see if they would be interested in him offering a course in Negotiation Strategies. They did and for 10 years, Ken invested in preparing future generations of business leaders. He was a popular teacher. Students considered his classes “tough” – meaning “tough on your mind” but highly valuable for business and for life. They learned to identify if a negotiation was “Kansas” or “Chicago,” how to identify assumptions lurking below the surface of arguments, and how to ask effective questions to get at the root causes of conflict. His popularity earned him “Instructor of the Year” in the College of Business in 2009, 2012 and, for the entire campus in 2013. After requests by many business executives and students alike, Ken published “Negotiating in the Leadership Zone” a practical guide to help leaders become better negotiators.

While Ken had been an avid and accomplished racquetball player in the Pacific Northwest, upon moving to Colorado and two knee replacements later, Ken turned his attention to golf, becoming a member at the Golf Course at Bear Dance in Larkspur CO. for 20 years and more recently, the Country Club at Woodmoor in Monument CO. Ken committed to golf in a similar fashion to how he engaged in other aspects of life – seeking deep understanding of how to play the game and doing so with the highest integrity. As it does for so many, the gift of sports participation/competition helped make Ken “tough-minded” (and again, there are many stories to tell) but Ken always remained a gentleman -- humble regarding his own talent and complimentary of others. After working on his putting for years, a special “moment” for Ken and the foursome he was playing with during his last round of golf at Bear Dance three days before he died occurred. He sank a 30 foot putt on the 18th hole!

To summarize, Ken lived and loved well, leaving an indelible mark on every life he touched. One friend wrote:

He was a singularly brilliant and loving man, an adoring and devoted husband, and a cherished loyal friend. An exceptional listener, a deep and wide-ranging thinker, a respected businessman, engaging teacher, outstanding athlete, and a humorist as well!

Another shared:

Ken was one of the two best men I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing and loving, including my dad. Ken was the kindest, gentlest, smartest, most loving man. He was truly sincere and the best listener. He always made time for his friends and entertained us with his wit.

And yet another contemplated:

Ken was a man of high integrity. He was gentle, insightful, humble, loving, accepting, reflective, sensitive, intelligent and entertaining (sometimes corny!). He cared about people and their stories. He listened deeply and asked the most insightful questions. He also gave the best hugs!

We who individually and collectively loved Ken and held him in high esteem will miss him terribly. Yet, we will always remember a beautiful spirit who left this world a better place. Thank you all for loving Ken!

And we now invite you to share your perspectives (link below) and/or in person at a Celebration of Ken’s Life which will take place on June 22nd at Ken’s and Mary Ann’s home from 1-4 PM.

If you are so inclined, donations may be made to:

The Humane Society of Colorado Springs where his beloved (and devoted) dog Abbey was adopted from. Website: https://www.hsppr.org/donate/tribute-giving/tribute-giving-donation/

OR

El Paso County Parks ‘The Nature Center at Fox Run Regional Park,’ soon to be developed. The park is very close to Ken’s and Mary Ann’s home and where Ken intended to volunteer. Website: www.elpasocountyparks.com. Just “ear-mark” your donation in Ken’s memory in the memo line.