Hepsy Dawson Bathini

Hepsy Bathini was born on July 2, 1947 in, Pune, Maharashtra, India, the sixth of the eight children of the late Mr. and Mrs. P.M. Dawson. She had five sisters and two brothers, and is survived by Louisa George, Walton Dawson, Felix Dawson, Suganthi Samuel, and Rosetta Naidoo. Hepsy was a hardworking, conscientious, and loving daughter, mother, and grandmother. Beloved by all, she performed countless acts of kindness and generosity for her own family and many across the ocean.

Lively and energetic, Hepsy loved to play– running, soccer, sack races, gilli danda and an expert in climbing trees – and excelled in academics, to her mother’s delight. She read early, and took pleasure in reading to her siblings, which made everyone believe she would become a teacher. She was a very good singer-- wonderfully strong alto, often the only one in the choir. Her warm, low voice was like her, always supporting the melody to make the music more whole.

In Pune, she earned her bachelor’s in elementary education from Spicer Memorial College. There, she met Victor Sam Bathini and fell in love.

After graduation, she worked at Pune Elementary School, where she was a celebrated educator sought after by competing schools.

In 1972, she and Victor married. Soon after, they moved to Narsapur, Andhra Pradesh, where they were blessed with two wonderful children, Vinod and Vinitha. They lived in Narsapur from 1972 to 1975, where Hepsy supported her husband in his endeavors, while continued her work educating children. From 1975 to 1990, they moved five times across three states in India. Both Hepsy and Victor’s careers blossomed during this time, as did their children. One of her colleagues at Bombay School remembers her as “an excellent teacher” and a “Mentor,” who was a “very caring, responsible, and an enthusiastic teacher. “She was always very hospitable, kind and helpful.” Hepsy was a gifted storyteller, and when asked, could make up a tale for children without a moment’s thought.

In 1989, Victor moved to Riverside, CA, and for a year Hepsy stayed behind with the children, until the whole family was reunited in the United States. In her forties, she began a whole new life as an immigrant, including earning her master’s from La Sierra University. Despite the many challenges of her new world, she never gave up, and was a persistent, courageous human soul.

Hepsy never spent money or her efforts on herself. All of her energy, time, and money was devoted to others, whether her own children, or those far away. She was incredibly hard working, and sacrificed herself for the good of her family. When she was diagnosed with heart disease, she became a prayer warrior: she said the most beautiful prayers, and people from everywhere would call to ask that she pray for them.

She loved to cook for people, and to have friends and family in her home. She loved watching Hindi movies, and giggling and chatting. Even in her later years, when it was difficult for her to remember where she was in time, the sight of her grandchildren always lit her face with joy.

Hepsy lived her last day as she lived her life, surrounded by family, in hours filled with music and prayer, memories, and love. Her bright smile and kind heart will be missed by many. She leaves behind her Son and Daughter-in-law, Vinod and Ruby, Daughter and Son-in-law, Vinitha and Airton Carlos, Grand Children Ben, Rianna, Siena and Kaitlyn, Brothers, Sisters, in-laws, Family and Friends.

My Mom - VINITHA BELTRAN

Growing up, I always looked up to my mom as a stylish woman. Her sari was always perfectly on, and beautiful. As I grew up she started taking me to a seamstress. We'd go pick out fabric and at the tailor's I'd pick out patterns, and I'd say, I want this! So I always had fancy dresses. My mom had never made a big deal about those dresses. She just quietly went about giving them to me every few months. But that was how she was. My mom was quietly generous. She had no attachment to things; she just wanted to keep us happy, and she was the same with other people. I feel like this is where I get my attitude toward helping people. I have no problem doing things and giving my things to people if they need them. I learned that from her.

She was a strong woman in her quiet way. Even when we were adults, she always wanted my brother and me to have what we needed, and to enjoy life--She wanted us to travel,go have fun with friends...while she bargain shopped for herself, while she worked hard to help support our family. She was this way with all family. We grew up watching her taking care of her own parents, and love and care for her siblings- and we took that lesson with us - you just take care of your family.

So I took care of her when she needed me. And taking care of her these two years really taught me to be human. It taught me to look at suffering and illness differently. I look at my patients as real people, with real issues, and I take an extra moment with them, just as my mom used to. No one is better than anyone; everyone suffers, one way or the other.

I will miss her smiling face, always happy to see me. I will miss taking my family to visit her and thinking of ways to have fun whether it was going to the park or doing an art project. I will miss bargain shopping with her. I will miss chatting with her, telling her the latest gossip and news. I will miss drinking tea with her. I will miss her sweet love...

In recent months there was one thing she wanted the most. It is hard for me to be generous by letting her go. But she missed my dad, and was longing to be with him. Ma. Go see your Vic.

My Mom - VINOD BATHINI

My mom was a very patient and kindhearted woman. She cared greatly for every soul on earth – her, family, friends, students and even her pets (she had 3 cats at one point). It was so important to her that everyone around her was happy and loved.

Hey Ma, Mom, MOTHER are some of the different way I addressed her. She called me by different nick names. Vinu boy was one of my favorites. I was very close to my Mom. I can recall this story my mother shared with my sister and I that she caught me walking over toward my baby sister with a pin in my hand. She quickly realized what I was doing; I was going to poke my sister in the eye as she understood I felt she was taking Mom away from me.

When I look into the mirror I feel I reflect my Mother in many ways. At an early age I was lively and energetic and was excelled in sports like her. Watching my Mom read I picked up that habit and enjoyed reading various books as well. I have a soft, calm and kind demeanor like her. Unfortunately I didn’t inherit her musical talent and her singing voice. But I’d like to think my daughter, Rianna, may have inherited that from her grandmother. Rianna will be singing today.

Although my Mom was a career woman, she supported my Dad in his endeavors. She always made time to teach us. She initiated our family worships and I would love to hear the way she told us Bible and other moral based stories. She was creative and could come up with a story at a drop of a dime. This is also something I picked up from her and I didn’t know I had this skill until I had my own child.

Both my parents were hardworking and instilled a strong work ethic in me. Mom was always meticulous in her work. If she took over a task she gave it her all to accomplish it and did it well. She was very organized and in those days her notebook and pen used to be her Smartphone.

She was a quiet support behind my Dad. She was his love, strength, advisor, fighter and, protector. She was the behind every successful Man, woman. There were time when my Mom asked my Dad not to go into a certain situation or not make a certain decision and he wouldn’t and it would turn out to be the right one. He often consulted her before he made a big decision.

She taught me to be frugal. When I was younger she would take me shopping in India and she had the art of bargaining to the point I would be so embarrassed and had to walk away. She taught us to earn pocket money by doing chores. When we came to the US we had very little. The four of us were students and worked part time but she helped keep it together. Even in those times she was generous and always helped her extended family and other people who were in need. She always helped with a kind heart looking for nothing in return.

There was a period of time in my life where Mom and I spent a lot of time together. I would be her chauffeur, drive her to work and home; take her grocery shopping, bank, etc. We would talk about everything from Dad, my Sister and her husband, her relatives, her job and whatever was bothering her, I was her confidant. Most times she just wanted me to listen as she had to vent. This is where I learnt my listening skills.

There were times she would be stubborn. She and I would argue and not talk to each other for a bit but that never lasted long. She would cook me something nice to eat. I will always remember the noodles she made with mixed veggies and egg. Her kitchidie and tomato chutney and lemon rice with fried chicken was also a hit with me. Her cooking was quick, simple and delicious. Every time I left home she would never miss telling me to dive safe.

There was a phase in my life when I turned away from God and did my own thing. I thought I was enjoying life but I was miserable inside. Mom would gently ask me every Sabbath morning to join her and Dad at Church. No nagging or lectures as she had the art of gently convincing someone to do something. In the background she was a prayer warrior and she would pray not only for me but many people all over the world. I soon began going to Church and sitting next to my parents listening to the Preachers messages and my life completely turned around. Everything started to fall into place as I went back to school, got a stable job and finally got married and now have two beautiful children. Guess who helped pick my future wife, Ruby? My Mom.

Unfortunately both my parents succumbed to health issues early in their lives. Dementia took over Moms life. She was unable to retain any new memories and only remembered some from her past. Ultimately Mom had to reside in a skilled nursing facility. She never forgot Dad, my sister and me and sometimes surprised us when she recognized other people. She missed her family dearly and I can still remember how her face lit up when she would see me walk up to visit her. She would have a big smile on her face and raise her hands for a hug. She would proudly tell everyone one that her son was visiting. When it was time to leave her she always wanted to go home with me. Every time I left I would sit in the parking lot for a few minutes and cry because I couldn’t take her home! I would pray for her and my comfort. I miss all the Starbucks runs and lunch dates we had together. This time I did all the talking and venting and she would listen and then give me a smile and all was OK.

Our last days were spent together in the ICU, holding hand, talking and singing to her. Whenever she heard my voice she would open her eyes and respond. On Christmas day I was able to take my daughters in to see their grandma. She opened her eyes and raised her arms to hold them. The girls prayed for grandma as they did on other visit to see her when she was well. The girls always enjoyed their visits with grandma and often sang to her. I’m almost done with Respiratory Therapy School and unfortunately I couldn’t give her care as a Respiratory Therapist but Mom I promised you that every patient I care for I will always see you in them and give them excellent care and comfort to their families. My parents will not be there for my graduation in March this year from the Respiratory program but I know they would have been so proud of me. They always wanted me to be in the medical field and their wish will be soon be fulfilled.

Dads’ passing was sudden and quick but Mom held on for almost a month in the ICU. Whenever we thought she wasn’t going to make it she surprised us and gave us hope. Even with an ET tube and in all that pain she once gave us a big smile. That was her gift to us! I think she finally let go when my sister and I told her to go be with her, Vic, my Dad. She breathe her last with me holding her head in my hand and my sister holding her hands. She is at peace and so are we.

So just like I said during Dad’s funeral I'm not saying goodbye Mom... I hope to see you and Dad again and until then, you both will be part of my every day.

I close with the same poem I read for Dad:

We little knew that morning

God was to call your name.

In life we loved you dearly,

In death we do the same.

It broke our hearts to lose you,

You did not go alone.

For part of us went with you

The day God called you home.

You left us beautiful memories,

Your love is still our guide,

And though we cannot see you,

You are always at our side.

Our family chain is broken,

And nothing seems the same,

But as God calls us one by one,

The chain will link again.