Kathryn C. Carson Brodnax

Kathryn Jane Carson Brodnax passed away on November 24, 2011 at Golden Acres Nursing Home in Dallas, Texas. Kathryn was born on June 4, 1921 near Richmond, Kansas to Arthur Ross Carson and his wife Mary Elizabeth Baker. She grew up with her brother, Malcolm, and sisters Elizabeth (Evanovich) and Evelyn (Palmer).

Kathryn graduated from Woodrow Wilson High. During WWII, she worked for the gov’t in the Publications Department. of the 8th Service Command. When the war was over, she worked as a secretary and later sold Highlights and real estate. She enjoyed traveling with friends and family.

Kathryn is survived by her son, Harry Brodnax, Jr. and her daughter, Karen Heckman and her husband, Randy; four grandchildren: Kristen, Brian, Kevin, and Allison Heckman; sisters, Evelyn Palmer and Elizabeth Evanovich. Kathryn also is survived by an extended family that she loved very much. She was preceded in death by her husband of 50 years, Harry L. Brodnax, Sr., her parents and her brother.

The funeral service will be held at Sparkman-Crane Funeral Home at 10501 Garland Road in Dallas, Texas on Monday, November 28 at 10:00 am. Visitation will be on Sunday, Nov 27 from 4-6 pm at Sparkman-Crane Funeral Home.

Interment Restland Memorial Park, Dallas, Texas.

Arrangements entrusted to Sparkman/Crane Funeral Home

10501 Garland Road, Dallas, Texas 75218

214-327-8291

This was read at the funeral service by Kathryn’s daughter, Karen Heckman:

Thank you for coming today; my family and I are deeply honored by your presence. I know my mom would be too.

I’d like to share with you some memories of Kathryn Jane Carson Brodnax (1) from my brother and extended family, then (2) some of my memories, and (3) in keeping with her death in Thanksgiving Day, I’d like to share some things I am deeply thankful for about her life…

The first thing you’d notice about mom if she were here might be her style. She liked to look and dress very nice. She liked to accessorize. On one weekend trip to San Antonio with relatives (my aunt and uncle), she amazed my uncle with the number of shoes that were necessary for only three days worth of outfits.

But she was a child of the depression. She shopped with coupons, and looked for “deals” on things that she bought. When my brother was helping her shop in these last years, she would “audit” the receipt when he got home. “We didn’t need a second can of green beans!” But because of that cautious attitude toward spending, her money has lasted.

Kathryn had a certain way of doing things, even when it came to cleaning the plates. When you were at her house for a meal, and the meal was over, plates were stacked individually, so the gravy didn’t get on the bottom of the next plate. If you were a child, even if you weren’t hers, at her house, you more than likely would be asked to take a “no thank you” helping of (or “try”) everything. Luckily, she was a pretty good cook!

She liked to talk; after working as a secretary in the early years of her life, her work life was in sales. As she got older, when the roles were reversed, and the sales people would call her, she thought it rude not to talk to them. She would never hang up on folks that called, but she knew their “tricks.” She never actually bought anything from the telemarketers that called; “I can’t afford that” would be repeated multiple times, and then the call was always ended with “thank you for calling.” I think she enjoyed this “game.” Her family wonders if the telemarketers actually put HER on their NO-CALL list!!!

Mom was actually happy to talk to people who came to the door too. And if it was a religious person, well…it was kind of door-to-door evangelism backwards. You’d get the idea from listening to the two sides talk that she was trying harder to convince them of her belief than they were to her.

But after she was done talking, that front door was locked! And checked. And checked again to make sure. Mom never met a door she didn’t lock. This was a real problem if a service man ever came to her home. If the guy ever had to go back out to the truck to get a wrench, or another object, he was locked out. Even in the nursing home this last year, when it was time to go down the hall for a meal, she wanted that nursing room door locked!

Kathryn could be very strong-willed. If she thought she was right, watch out! But if you needed help, you would want her on your side…she’d see to it that something got done, and you’d be better off!!! She was very much an advocate for her extended family in the earlier years of her life, and when my brother and I came along, she was our “advocate.” We also kind of feared mom; we were more scared of her than the principal at school!!! In her later years she was an advocate for my dad and his needs; I saw a picture of true love there.

Mom was fiercely independent. She wanted to do things herself and usually her way. Sometimes this can make a harsh older person. I was concerned about this when she needed nursing home care at the first of this year. However, when I would go in, the staff at Golden Acres Nursing Home seemed to genuinely like mom as they cared for her. When she was put on hospice last week, and moved from the hospital back to the nursing home, a good number of the staff came out of their way to “say goodbye.”

I asked my brother about this change in her independence to dependence on others (he saw her almost every day this past year), and he said that she had made the transition from fiercely independent to accepting help with grace.

My thoughts/memories…

I came along later in my mom’s life. She was over forty when she had my brother and I. I think she saw us as true gifts.

Staying home mostly with us in those growing up years, mom sold Highlights, a children’s magazine, and then sold real estate part time. Before she had us, she was involved in the Dallas area’s Christian Business and Professional Women’s Club. I think this morphed into the Christian Women’s Club, in which she stayed involved for many years. She went to First Assembly of God before marriage, and then she attended Scofield Memorial Church for many years with my dad, taking my brother and me.

It must be said that she believed in Jesus Christ and what he had done for her, and she wanted others to know of him too. I watched one of my cousins lean over her this last week and say “thanks for telling me about Jesus.”

My dad, Harry Brodnax Senior, was in the Golden Acres Nursing Home for more than six years before his death. Together with my brother, mom “oversaw” my dad’s care. Two weeks before his death, my mom and dad celebrated 50 years together.

Although my parents’ core values and beliefs were the same, in many ways, they were opposites. Dad was slow and quiet. Mom was always moving, and mostly always talking. In our growing up years, I remember she would tell him to hurry up when they would walk together.

I hope he was ready for her when she got to Heaven on Thanksgiving. I hope they ate a meal together; for many years, she had such a restrictive diet. I hope she could eat whatever she wanted. My brother and I are both glad that the pain she experienced these several years is now gone.

Mom had a box of obituaries she had clipped and collected over the years about friends who had passed on. I found it this past year. I told her in September when I was here that I wouldn’t worry too much about her when she was gone. She was going to have lots of friends and family where she was going.

A week ago, last Monday, I sat down and wrote a list of the gifts my mom had given me. I didn’t know at the time that she would pass on Thanksgiving…

Gifts mom gave that I am thankful for (so much of this list is by example of what she did):

My own “mom” skills; I have seen this most prominently in the incredibly stressful moments of my life. Having four kids and the last one 14 weeks early was no piece of cake. I know some of those “dark days” I walked through because of the example of being a good mom when it didn’t feel good that I saw from my own mom…that played out in…

The ability to look past the moment/circumstance and to love unconditionally

The ability to put that love into action

Action itself-well, I have her trouble of not being able to sit still

A few other things, just about life…

Appreciation of the mountains and snow

My father and brother-they have been gifts to us both

My extended family and friend here today…

And my immediate family…

My husband and my four children-she was the one who actually had the idea of college-age kids from various churches getting together. It was at one of these “get-togethers” that I met Randy

Those are so priceless, but maybe most important,

Together with my father, my mom gave me…

An awe of the Almighty and a personal faith

And as I grew up and moved on, she gave me a great example

The ability to say “goodbye” with grace.

Goodbye, mom. Thanks.

Maybe as a Christian I should end by saying “see ya later, mom.”

Keh

11-26-11