Domenic Spaziani

He was born on October 2, 1939 in the Roman suburb of Velletri Italy to the late Antonio and Letizia Spaziani. He came to the United States in 1958. Dom held various positions in the electronics manufacturing business at both Amphenol RF & Insulated Wire for over 45 years. In addition, he was a Special Police Officer for the City of Danbury for 40 years and Assisted the Dog Warden receiving several citations during his years of service. He also worked at the Danbury Drive-In theater as a projectionist for many years.

He was a member of St. James’ Episcopal Church and was active for 20+ years in the Community Thanksgiving Dinner that the church hosts each year as well as the Buildings & Grounds committee. He had been a member of the Blue Knights, The Elks Club, and helped with the Appalachia Service Project at the United Methodist Church in Danbury.

He is survived by his wife, Linda; and children: Eva Mucci, Fred(Christine), Jennifer(Bill), and Anthony(Marissa). He is also survived by his grandchildren: Becky (Jeremiah) Lawson, Angelo (Melissa) Spaziani, Kira Spaziani, Nicole (Christopher) Carducci, Joseph Spaziani, Alison Spaziani, Katie Garcia (Michael Belcourt), Maxwell Archer; and great grandchildren: Griffin, Dexter, Paisley & Hadley Lawson and Vincent Spaziani. He is also survived by his mother in-law, Irene Simonelli; his brother and sisters in-laws, Susan (Carl) Johnson, Ed (Sandi) Simonelli, Jill Simonelli and many nieces and nephews as well as great nieces and nephews.

He was predeceased by his parents, his son Frank, brothers; and sisters Franco(Rina), Luciano, Enia Riccardi, and Gina (Giuseppe) Parisi.

The family would like to thank Engine 23, James Simonelli, the Danbury ambulance team especially, Ron Gage, Alex Eckner, and Mike Norman and Regional Hospice of Connecticut for the care and compassion they provided to Dom.

Funeral Services will be conducted at 10:00am on Tuesday, August 1, 2023 at St. James Church, 25 West St., Danbury, CT. Burial will follow in St. Peter Cemetery, Danbury, CT.

Friends will be received from 4:00pm - 7:00pm on Monday, July 31, 2023 at the Green Funeral Home, 57 Main St., Danbury, CT.

In lieu of flowers donations can be made to the Regional Hospice and Homecare of Western Connecticut, 30 Milestone Rd, Danbury, Ct or St. James’ Episcopal Church, 25 West Street Danbury CT 06810.

The following is the link to view the service livestream: https://events.locallive.tv/events/118066

Remembering Dom

Do not be afraid I am with you, I have called you each by name, come and follow me, I will bring you home, I love you and you are mine.

I sang this song to Dom earlier on the morning he died, and Torna a Surriento was playing as he took his last breaths with his best friend and myself by his side. I had long planned for that to be played at this celebration as well. God does work in mysterious ways.

This is a Celebration of life and that it was. Dom Spaziani, an Italian immigrant who worked, loved and played hard. Dom came to the US at 18 years old, knowing no English and never returned to Italy until 2014. He then went twice within two years. The first was before his accident and we went with his son Fred and family and we met family he had lost contact with. In typical Dom fashion he led us around Italy, making friends with everyone, he borrowed someone’s accordion at a restaurant to play, and even got a nice woman to get off the bus and walk us to where we needed to go. The second time, after his accident he went ahead of me with Anthony, my brother’s family and Angelo for 5 days and all was good. They were given strict instructions to watch him well. When I got there they now had a tour guide and I had jam packed each day with sightseeing. We went to the Coliseum and as he would retell the story – I lost him there. Truth be told, I did, and as James says he was at the top ready to snap that perfect photo and he heard a lot of Italian rambling over a loudspeaker (who knew the Coliseum had one) and then he heard Domenico Spaziani and he knew they were in trouble.

Dom was an extremely hard worker and there was no job he would not take to provide for his family. He worked two jobs consistently into his 70’s. Dom was a jack of all trades – master of none type of guy (he would argue and say he was a master of all but – when I turn my light switches down, the lights go on). He was funny in that he was a perfectionist in that every cut needed to be precise and level really made a difference, but he would NEVER turn off the electrical box to do any electrical work, that was an unneeded step. If anyone needed something done, they knew if they called him he would be there to help. Having been the product of the war in Italy Dom was always very frugal and he never believed in throwing anything out because “You never know when you might need that for the next project”. On work shirt Saturdays here at St. James’ I knew my garage would get a little fuller with items that we “One day might need”.

Being a Police Officer for 40+ years and working for the Canine provided several recognitions, or opportunities for mishaps. Dom was very proud that he could serve the city that became his home in that capacity. Dom received a Citation for capturing a burglar but also once shot a garden hose instead of a snake and broke his thumb trying to catch a goose that had a fish hook in its beak at Candlewood Lake. He never even made it back to the station before the jokes and teasing began.

Dom enjoyed a good party and was always there with a joke or two (I would cringe as to the appropriateness of it) Dom NEVER missed the opportunity for audience participation and if he could be in it and dress up, all the better. He loved the casino and if he could get to POINT B by going by the casino that is how he went. His ride to the Cape was always via Foxwoods, and many times he got a room for Anthony, my nephews and friends, gambled all night then had them continue the drive the next morning. Dom loved the beach and the Cape and would go clamming for hours and insisted on cooking all his treasurers even though some might have been questionable. It was there that he spent many hours playing set-back or other games with our family and friends. One year, he left the Cape early and ended up having his truck impounded because of his emissions – and I then needed to go pick him up on my way home. Now Dom with his cooler of clams needed to make his way into my honda accord, with my mom, my nieces and a trunk that was already full. We got back to Danbury and got the issue resolved so I needed to drive him back to the cape the next day he gets his truck, once we get there he says, “Thanks – see you later, I am going to Foxwoods”!

Dom would stop and make friends with anyone and was like the Mayor. After his fall he had difficulty using the phone and instead of calling his sister would end up calling a lovely 90 year old woman. He knew her name, they would chat and she would call him sweetie. One of Dom’s best friends was Alexa, he would nightly tell her he loved her and so whenever he was in rehab or the hospital she would go with him. In the beginning the nurses thought my name was Alexa because they would hear him yelling at her all the time. Not to surprise anyone, but Dom could be a challenging patient and most times when in a facility they gave him a room at the end of the hall and I knew all too well that would be short lived and he would be moved to be closer to the outside the nurses station, just like a student and the principal’s office.

Dom had tough love when it came to his children. He expected perfection from them but deep down that was only because he wanted the best for them. He made them work hard as kids (and sometimes they were washing rocks for a wall instead of going to the beach) but he wanted them to be self-sufficient and not have to struggle in life. He was forever reminding them, Don’t slam the door, turn off the lights. He took pride in keeping some of his Italian traditions alive and enjoyed showing them how to make soppresata. Don’t get me wrong, it didn’t always end well because Dom was a no nonsense type of guy and if you had a job to do he just wanted to get it done.

Dom enjoyed having family and friends around, and the first thing he would do is make sure everyone had food and a drink, and he was going to be the judge of when you had enough to eat so you weren’t done until he told you that you were. Family dinners and game nights were a memory waiting to happen. At one table Dom could be dad, nonno, grandpa, grandpa Dom, zio, and Uncle Dom and sometimes just whatever because one couldn’t remember. There was always confusion, and lots of mischief happening but he did enjoy that time. He was very fickle about who was his favorite, but one thing was for sure Amanda was the best driver, and Angelo and I were the worst. (Do you have to hit every bump in the road?)

Dom the Italian Roman Catholic first became involved at St. James’ because let’s be honest, he really had no other choice. It became his church home as well. The kitchen here was very familiar to him, he carved many turkeys over the years for our Thanksgiving dinners, flipped lots of pancakes and sausages and put on a great Pasta dinner for ASP. More importantly was what Dom received from belonging here. It was Love, He was blessed by the love and support we received when we needed it most after he met his biggest challenge 8 1/2 years ago when he fell. Life changed for our family in an instant. He lost whatever filter he might have had and reasoning became difficult. He was as we say CAPATOST (or thick skulled in Italian). Our church family signed up to bring him to and from appointments, and that was never 30 minutes, as you had to stop and let him buy you lunch on your way home. They supported us with prayers, meals and anything else we needed, and I am forever grateful.

Dom continued through countless hours of PT, OT, Speech to try and become more independent but obstacles kept coming his way, he broke his leg, got pneumonia, and then a tremor, I remember asking the Dr.’s if he could have Parkinson's because of the tremor and the Dr. said, “no, that would be a cruel act of fate” but sure enough a year later after pleading (I too can be a bit stubborn –shocker) and then his cancer diagnosis. Through it all he never gave up, and was still able to go to California to see a niece get married, to Florida, Italy and the Cape many times. It wasn’t always an easy road and he would sometimes feel defeated, but would say “Just wait until I get better, I need to get a truck, I need to get a job I can’t have you and Timmy taking me everywhere”. Tim who would have ever thought, there are no words, thank you for all you did for Dom and me.

So for Dom his time here has now ended but because I believe, I know Dom is now celebrating with his parents, his son Frank, his brothers & sisters, my dad and aunts, uncles and all those who have gone before us. He is now at the ultimate feast and he is telling his sister to make sure there is enough food for everyone and then yelling at everyone to Manga Manga (eat in Italian). In that spirit and knowing he is watching down on us, I invite you all to continue in this celebration and share a meal and your favorite Dom story with us afterwards. He would want nothing less.

This is one of my favorite blessings, that Iris ended our services with frequently, Life is short, and we do not have much time to please the hearts of those who make the journey with us. So be swift to love, and always be kind and may the God who made us, loves us, and travels with us be with us forever.

Dom may you finally be free of pain, home with your family and rest in peace. Toots, until we meet again. Un grande baccio. XO Linda

A Homily by The Rev. Iris E. Peterson

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of all our hearts acceptable to you oh Lord, Our God and our redeemer. Linda thank you, thank you for a beautiful eulogy on Dom, what I was thinking about, as I was preparing, was all the things that we could have called him. Some of us knew him as beloved or husband, or father, granddad or uncle or brother. We knew him as a policeman, as a joker, as a handyman as the one who was the actor; because he loved to dress up it seemed, chef, friend, faithful, a believer in God, a believer in Christ, but above all, we knew him as a beloved child of God. Beloved child of God, who wrestled from time to time with who he was as Gods servant with coming forward, and doing the things that needed to be done, and sometimes pulling back just enough to allow a little space for others to come through.

When my time here was ending and after it finished, I took a part-time job. I went to the Christmas Tree Shop around Christmas time not knowing anyone and lo and behold I was greeted by Domenic Spaziani. I looked at him and said wait a minute, what are you doing here? The smile broke out on his face, and I could see the twinkle in his eyes. It said he was up to something. When there was a break in our day, everybody got a 15 minute break, Domenic would take his break and he would disappear and then later on someone say, “Hey did you see Dom?” and I would think about it and think I haven’t seen him for a while. Well, Domenic, being the ambassador that he was for all of Danbury, would go down to Sinapi’s Pizza, have a little bit of a chat, greet people on the way and perhaps come back, perhaps not. The shift might be over and in Domenic walked, but it was that delightful impish piece of Domenic that we often got to see. The other thing that he did while I was there that surprised me because I went in incognito, I didn’t tell people really much about myself. I just went to go to work. I came in one day and noticed that people would go “Hello Miss Iris” I was thinking why are they doing that? They don’t call anybody else Miss what is that about. Then someone came up and said how old do you have to be to be baptized and I started to think why would they be asking me questions about baptism and I looked around over my shoulder and there’s Domenic with his broad smile. He had gone ahead of me, he was kind of the Pied Piper and told everyone who I was and what I did and so now we had theological discussions going on all thanks to Domenic. But that was Dom, and what he was doing was living out the baptismal promises that we all make, those promises that say that we will seek and serve God in others. He did that not only in the service to the city, but in how he welcomed people into his life, how he welcomed those of us who were looking for a place, he was the one who would often open a door to something possible for you. He didn’t shy away from being in the midst of things, because he went boldly knowing that God went with him into the midst of things, into the fray there he went, he kept going because he knew God to be his own. In our reading today we heard Thomas say, but we don’t know where we are going, so how could we go. Dom knows and knew where he was going, he knew that he was going to where God was, that he was going to go to that table that was prepared for him, to the feast that would allow him to be with God. It was into those loving arms that he did indeed pass, and into that place where he now rejoices. Rejoices looking back on the life that he had, that he led, and rejoices for us that continue our struggle, that continue our walk with God, that continue going ever forward and God‘s love.

Beloved is probably the best way for me to describe him, for he was beloved by his family here at Saint James’, he was beloved by the community, he was beloved by his immediate family. A beloved child of God has gone home, has gone to the place that was prepared for him before the beginning of time, and he knew the way just as each of you knows the way. The way, the truth, the life, that is in loving God and doing God’s work and will in the world. Let our memories in those words that we used to describe Dom be those that ever remind us of how blessed we are, blessed to have known him, blessed to have had his example of how to love, how to work, and how to be a Beloved child of God. Each of you is beloved by God, each of you has something of that light that Dom had, that we all have, that we carry the light of Christ out into the world and I invite you to share that light. Join it with Dom and let it light up the world rejoicing in that he’s home, he’s safe, he’s whole, he’s well, and that you two will have that place, the table that’s prepared for you, he would tell you I am sure, to let your light shine. Let it shine. Let people know that you are beloved as he is, let people know that God lights up your light, your life, and be not afraid to show it to the world, be bold as Dom, beloved by all so that everyone knows who you are, whose you are, and may God‘s love rest, rule and abide in your heart this day and forever more. Amen.