Ernesto Ribas

What I know about my father begins in Brazil. He was born there and raised by a single mother with not much financial support alongside his older brother. Life was not easy, and from a young age he learned how to survive. By the age of 14, he had already learned skills simply so he could eat.

At 14 he got on a bus from his hometown to the city, searching for work. He was hungry and living on the streets, sometimes eating out of trash cans just to get by. One day he walked into a tailor shop and asked if he could work. That moment changed everything.

He became a tailor’s apprentice at 14… and by the age of 16 he was already a master tailor.

My dad never went to school past the 6th grade and had very limited reading and writing skills. But he was not just a dreamer — he was a visionary. When he had a dream, he put action behind it.

He returned to his hometown and found success creating suits for men and even music bands. But his biggest dream was to build a life in America, and he was determined to make it happen.

He worked and saved every dollar he could until he finally had enough money to buy a plane ticket to the United States. He arrived with his wife at the time, not knowing the language and with only $50 in his pocket.

When they landed, immigration wanted to send them back to Brazil. But my father refused to give up. Holding Linda’s hand, they ran — leaving all of their luggage behind — with nothing but that $50 and a dream.

His first job in America was loading pumpkins into trucks at night. His first night in this country he slept on a hardwood floor in someone’s basement… and was kicked out the next day.

Eventually they took a bus to Philadelphia where they found a Portuguese club. There they met people who spoke their language and became lifelong friends.

The first apartment he could afford was in a dangerous neighborhood in Philadelphia where he got mugged multiple times just walking home from the bus station after working long shifts.

One day he heard of a job opportunity in his trade 2 hours from where he lived. He hopped on bus that took him to Manalapan NJ and walked into a men’s department store. Without speaking a word of English, he showed them his tailoring skills — and they hired him on the spot.

While he was there, he heard there was a beauty salon in the same department store. So he marched over and convinced them to hire his wife, telling them she was the best hairstylist in the world. He convinced her to go show them her skills without speaking a word of English … and she was hired on the spot too.

My father never asked for handouts. Everything he had, he earned.

He saved enough money to buy his own home in Manalapan, New Jersey. Then he saved enough to bring his mother, and my mothers parents and siblings and eventually all our our family members to the United States and help them find work. His home was always open to anyone who needed a place to stay while they got back on their feet.

Once he settled in New Jersey, he worked five different jobs tailoring for cleaners and department stores. Before long, he became everyone’s tailor. He truly loved his clients and treated each one like family.

He repaired suits for the businessmen who worked in New York City, prom dresses for local students, bar mitzvah suits and dresses, and even wedding gowns. He would make house calls, and many clients would come right into our home for clothing repairs.

My father never stopped working, but he never saw it as a burden. He considered his clients a blessing. Over the years he became deeply loved and well known in the community.

One year we spent Christmas in Brazil. My father saw a newspaper story about a family who didn’t even have bread for the holidays. He took my mother and me to the grocery store and filled carts with food. Then we drove for hours into the mountains asking people along the road to help us find this family. Eventually we did — and we were able to bring Christmas to them and their children.

That was the kind of man he was.

When I was 12, he took me to work with him on Saturdays and made me his apprentice at the cleaners. He taught me the value of work, money, and earning what you have.

When I was young, I compared myself to friends who seemed to have everything. I had to buy my own school clothes, earn my own spending money, save money for the dentist, and buy my own personal items by the age of 13. At the time, I resented those responsibilities.

But as an adult, I see how those lessons shaped my life. They gave me pride, gratitude, and a deep appreciation for what it means to earn something for yourself.

My father took pride in everything he built and he was also the first person to help a stranger in need.

He loved having a bar in the house — not because he drank, but because to him it symbolized success and opportunity. It was a place to gather with friends. He would often invite people in and say with his Brazilian accent “ You lika my bar?”

He loved entertaining. Weekends were for friends, Brazilian music, and laughter. He was a jokester, loved doing card tricks, and was a great storyteller. His favorite thing was hosting barbecues and playing canasta with friends.

I have fond memories of a house full of people, music playing, a fire pit in the backyard, someone with a guitar, and everyone singing.

Sometimes Ernesto would make music shakers out of empty beer cans by filling them with rice and taping the top. Suddenly everyone had an instrument.

When I was 13, I discovered that I had a half-brother Carlos that came to live with us from Brazil. At the time it was a lot to process, but it helped shape my understanding of family and taught me that life — and people — are often more complex than we realize. Carlos and I quickly became close and when I learned he could dance we hit all the nightclubs and he would battle and dance in circles. I was so proud to say I have brother now and he’s the worlds greatest dancer.

Then at 16, I learned that I also had a half-sister, Karla, a niece Fabiana and 2 nephews Rafael and Roninho. Karla came to the United States when I was in my twenties, and I was so grateful to finally have the siblings I had always dreamed of. We spent many years together on holidays and she witnessed the birth of my 3 children often helping me take care of them.

Our backgrounds and childhood experiences were very different, but I’m grateful my father brought them into my life.

Ernesto would often give away trunks full of clothes to people in the community who stood on street corners waiting to be picked up for work.

Growing up, my dad was very protective. He would often yell and chase away any boy who tried to come to our door. As you can imagine, I was completely embarrassed at the time.

But looking back now, I realize that it taught me something important — it showed me the value of choosing the right partner and husband.

Thankfully, I was blessed with a life partner who works just as hard, who cares deeply for his family, and who is always willing to help anyone in need. My father, Ernesto, loved his son-in-law Doug. He would call him “Dogge.” Doug’s compassion never failed when my father needed him. Like Ernesto, Doug is a hardworking man who shows up for others and helps those in need. And for that, I am deeply grateful.

He also loved the generous and loving spirit of his other son-in-law, Alex, whom he affectionately called “Baiano.” My father always smiled whenever he spoke about him.

He absolutely loved his nephew, Marquinho. He cared for him like a son and was proud to help him come to this country, honoring a promise he had made to his late uncle George.

My father was incredibly proud that his grandchildren had the opportunity to receive an education and to live and work in the United States. He wasn’t always a man who knew how to actively spend time with his grandchildren, but his pride was clear whenever he spoke about them.

For him, it was enough to know they were healthy, working, and living in a country where he had helped create that opportunity for them.

My father worked seven days a week until he physically couldn’t anymore. He tried to retire three times. But his work ethic and determination kept bringing him back. He kept working until the age of 84.

He did the best he could with the life lessons he learned as a child, and through that he created opportunities for so many people.

He wasn’t a traditional father. But he was an incredible inspiration — someone who showed me what it means to overcome adversity and keep going no matter what.

Ernesto fulfilled his purpose and his human experience here on Earth, and now he is home. I’m sure he is watching over us and will continue guiding us in the ways he always did.

And for that, I will always be grateful.