Barbara Ellen Hommel

By Kevin Hommel

Thank you all for coming here on this occasion to celebrate the life of Barbara Hommel. Mom would be very happy that you all came to be with us today. We are gathered here now to pay our respects to a woman who exemplified strength, fortitude, wisdom, and compassion.

Barbara Ellen Flood was born January 24, 1938 to Frank and Estelle Flood in Detroit Michigan. She was the youngest of 7 children in an Irish family. She had 3 brothers and 3 sisters. The Floods were actually friends with the Hommels before Mom or Dad were even born. They had been at parties together as children, but didn’t really remember each other until years later. It’s funny how fate works. Around 1960, Dad was encouraged to go to a party by his aunt. Mom was at that party, and that’s when they started dating. And that was the start of a 50 year love affair.

Mom had a rich and fulfilling life that many would only dream of. She was a musician and an active member of the church. She played the piano and sang every week in the music group for as long as I can remember. She was active in the organizations that concerned her children and husband – the PTA, cub scouts, sports, drama, music, departmental functions at UCO, and so on. Along the way, she endured personal losses including four cherished siblings and had family challenges along the way; yet she found a way to emerge stronger than she was before.

Mom graduated from nursing school in 1961 and had a long career as a Registered Nurse. She wanted this poem to be read:

(NURSES POEM HERE)

Mom was a real trooper. While Dad was completing his doctoral dissertation research, he made several trips to Sierra Leone, Africa. She was right there alongside of him. On one trip, she insisted on bringing their 3 children at the time, ranging in age from 4 to 9 years. Now, I don’t know about everyone else in this congregation, but the thought of taking 3 children to a 3rd world country is the stuff nightmares are made of. But she always recalled that trip without any complaints or stress. She had way of handling challenging situations with ease.

There are countless things that we will all remember about mom. For example, she’s one of the few people I have ever seen that could pull off wearing large jewelry. Her Celtic cross that she wore so often seemed to be the size of my hand, but she made it absolutely beautiful. She made an incredible Thanksgiving dinner and the only meatloaf that my wife would eat. Heather recently recounted that she was so nervous one year when mom had her slice the sweet potatoes for Thanksgiving dinner – she was afraid she would somehow mess it up. When she finished, she asked mom if she did it right. It was done right, but it wouldn’t have really mattered if it wasn’t – mom would have just gone about preparing the dinner as if it was all according to plan. That’s just the way she was, she always made the best of every situation.

Mom was a kind, compassionate, caring, and selfless individual. I was always amazed at her sense of humanity and ability to care for others. I remember one time in the early 1980s when I was a still a child. I was playing outside around dinner time. It had been raining – a typical Oklahoma storm with torrential down poor followed by a rainbow and beautiful sky. My mom pulled up in the driveway and as she walked up, I noticed she was soaked and muddy. She was still a ways away. I asked what happened, “Did you get a flat tire or what?” She got closer and I saw that a fair amount of that mud was actually blood, and I got concerned. “Are you ok?” I asked. She assured me that she was not hurt. She told me that on her way home from work, she witnessed a bad car accident and someone was very hurt. Because she was a nurse, she said, it was her duty to stop and help the injured man. She performed CPR on him until the paramedics arrived. I asked her if she saved him. She said, “No. But I had to try to help him because I could.” That was the kind of person she was – always giving and caring for others. I know a lot of health care providers, and I know maybe a handful that would have done what she did that day. I think that was the first time I saw my mom as a superhero, but it certainly was not the last.

In an era when women were struggling to gain respect and equality, my mother demanded it. And she got it. I remember buying my second car. I was one of those unusual kids that kept his first car from age 16 to age 23. At 23 I needed a new car, and I thought, “Hey, I’m a man now, I can do this myself.” After all, my brother had sold cars for a living for a few years, so I knew a few tricks from him. My mom said she wanted to just tag along and help out if necessary. I reluctantly agreed. Afterward, I was glad she came because there were a few things she did that kept me from being taken for a ride. I remember coming to the realization at the time that the men at the dealership were not just impressed by her…they were intimidated by her.

Mom had the grace and charm of a fairy tale princess and yet the courage, strength, and grit of a warrior. She was the consummate “Mama Bear”. Boy, did she look out for her kids. Whether it was making sure her daughter received the absolute best care after receiving that dreaded phone call at 2 AM that there had been a bad car accident. She often talked about how her heart literally just stopped that night. Or whether it was making sure her son had everything he needed to achieve his dream of flying an airplane. Or whether it was sticking up for me when a PE teacher in junior high made a pretty insensitive public comment about me. Upon hearing this from me, she had a few choice words with the principal and that teacher. The next day I was called into the teacher’s office. He apologized. I’d never before, and haven’t since then, seen a man like that so humbled. I can only imagine what was said in that meeting with the principal and teacher (and she had far too much class to tell me), but I bet to this day that teacher remembers exactly what she said. She always had a way of making her point very clear.

She gave all her love to her 4 children and her best friend and partner for life: her husband of 48 years. She was a role model for all of us. She taught us how to be strong and courageous, how to love unconditionally, and how to have a healthy loving marriage for the rest of one’s life. That’s something that is practically science fiction these days, but she made it a reality for all of us.

And she always did what so many people consider the single most important thing – she showed up. She was always there for her family. When someone was down, she picked us up. When we needed a safety net, she crocheted one for us. When we experienced challenges, she helped us through them and carried us on her back until we could stand with firm footing on the ground.

She was a protector. She was a lover. She was a caregiver. She was a fighter to the end. In a word, she was honorable. And now we are gathered here to pay tribute to this honorable woman. So I ask you all now to stand and join me in honoring and celebrating Barbara Hommel.