Bernadine Stone

What I want to celebrate most about my mom, Bernadine Stone, was how she used to just take such care of everyone and make sure people had whatever they needed, especially me. When I was young, she helped out at my school and always made sure every child had lunch, even if she had to go home and make one and bring it back.

She loved to be of service. Giving back to others, especially in religious ways, from helping bring communion to the elderly in their homes to visiting convalescent homes for mass were just some of the ways she spent decades being of service to her community and parish. She was especially devoted to the Virgin Mary through her work with the Legion of Mary at St. Therese and her assistance with CCD at Our Lady of Grace parishes while proudly attending events at St. Martin of Tours Academy, her granddaughter, Siena's school.

When younger she worked in her father's gas station in the 40s during the war, then as a junior accountant for a cosmetics company as well as draftsperson for an architecture firm.

She quit working when she was able to get pregnant with me at the age of 39 and used her skills then to volunteer.

She received many awards for her community and church involvement but was never focused on receiving accomodations and always looked for new ways to help encourage people to worship. She had a beautiful soprano voice and would enjoy singing in church, encouraging me to sing and proudly watching her granddaughter sing in school and church.

Bernadine was born in Chicago, Illinois on October 10th, 1924 to Virginia and Floyd Haskins. She was the only child, although her mother was the youngest of 8 so she had many Aunts and Uncles. As a child she moved to Mannistee, Michigan then again as an adult to San Fernando Valley in Southern California.

She was always devoted to God and cared for her parents during the War when my grandfather was injured during a robbery at his gas station. She took care of her parents until their retirement and then met her future husband at a Catholic Singles event at an Arthur Murray dance studio. They participated in a bowling league together and at 37, became engaged after only a few months of dating. Robert Stone, a quiet but hardworking mechanical design engineer from La Jolla, California, who went on to help build mechanical design components for many exciting designs including the first Commodore computer and one of the Apollo missions to the moon with companies like General Dynamics.

After trying for several years, she was able to give birth to me, her only daughter, named after St. Therese the little flower, just before her 40th birthday. She was unable to have more children and devoted all her time to teaching and raising me as well as providing me the best religious education she could.

Robert and Bernadine lived in Pasadena, then Pomona once I was born before moving to San Diego in 1970 and buying a brand new home in a new neighborhood near St. Therese Academy.

As the only daughter of hardworking parents, with my father working several jobs and my mom volunteering for several parishes, it taught me to give back as well as to never give up. I learned to repurpose and be creative as well as genuinely show care to not only family, but friends and community.

My mother was always celebrating every holiday with festive decorations and over the top meals, even if it was only for a few people. She loved watching musicals and listening to classical music as well as popular music of the 50s, like Lawrence Welk and any shows considered wholesome entertainment.

When I became interested in design, my parents always supported and encouraged me even when they didn't understand the outfits I created or the career choices I made, like going to Fashion School instead of traditional business.

They didn't travel much, but loved to watch faraway travel on TV as well as dramas like MASH. They enjoyed spending time with their only granddaughter teaching her about God and religion as well as spoiling her during every holiday.

When my father passed away in 2019, she had been managing a house primarily on her own, caring for my Dad who was 92, and still driving to participate in promoting her parishes. She came to live with me and my family and it gave her the opportunity to really let me give back to her and the stress of managing everything seemed to be instantly relieved. Her coined phrase of "okey doke" became popular with anyone who spent time with her these last 4 years.

When she moved into Assisted Living at Grossmont Gardens in La Mesa, it gave her a chance to reinvent how she wanted to spend her time. She made a few new friends and loved watching Bewitched or any crime drama from the 60s like Rockford Files and Columbo.

The care and comfort she received in Skilled Nursing, after falling and having hip surgery in December 2021, continued until the end of her days. St. Martin of Tours made it available for her to continue to worship right until her last weeks by having mass at her building.

Our family has been so grateful for all the support and love surrounding her passing and we will continue to try to give back in support of all that she cared about and especially trying to bring more music and culture into skilled nursing for the elderly as well as just keeping in touch with all the nurses and residents that made her final years so inclusive and wonderful.